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Same-Sex Marriage and Divorce

Same-sex marriages have been legal in all 50 states for over four years. Unfortunately, having your same-sex marriage recognized as legal doesn’t always translate to receiving equal or fair treatment, and some same-sex couples are running into unique problems while seeking a divorce. The main point of contention: how to determine when the marriage began.

Same-sex marriages and domestic partnerships first started becoming legal at the turn of the 21st century but weren’t made universally legal in the United States until 2015. Many same-sex couples lived in domestic partnerships, cohabitating arrangements, or marriages that took place in other states before their state began recognizing and performing same-sex marriages.

While same-sex couples can and do get divorced, many are discovering that there are complications they didn’t foresee. Keep reading to learn more about some of the difficulties and considerations that same-sex couples may face during a divorce.

Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions

Many same-sex couples entered into a domestic partnership or civil union because they were unable to marry, and these legal partnerships provided some of the state benefits of being married. When same-sex marriages became legal, some states automatically converted civil unions into marriages, but others didn’t. The result is that if you were married while you still had a domestic partnership or civil union, you are in two legally binding relationships and will need to dissolve both.

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Alimony

In a North Carolina divorce, alimony (which is technically called postseparation support when it’s temporary and spousal support when it’s long-term) is financial support paid by a supporting spouse to a dependent spouse after separation. One of the factors a judge will look at when ruling on alimony is the length of the marriage.

For heterosexual couples, determining when a marriage began is easy. In North Carolina, however, same-sex marriage wasn’t legal until 2014, which complicates things for same-sex couples who got married out of state before 2014 but are now trying to get a divorce.

To put this issue in perspective, Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage 10 years before North Carolina did. If a couple was married in Massachusetts and has since moved to North Carolina, a North Carolina judge should go back to the date of the actual marriage in Massachusetts. The United States Supreme Court decision that declared prohibitions against same-sex marriage invalid made all marriages valid.

However, if you had a domestic partnership or civil union, that may not qualify for the same status as a marriage. In that instance, you may not receive credit for the time before you were officially married.

RELATED ARTICLE: What North Carolina Same-Sex Couples Need To Know About Family Law

Division of Property

What counts as marriage also has a significant effect on the division of property in a divorce. Under North Carolina law, the accumulation of marital property begins on the date of marriage.

That raises the question: does property bought or obtained during a domestic partnership or civil union get divided equally as well? The answer is probably not unless the laws of the state later made the union a marriage. But what if the couple was in a domestic partnership at the time and later got married when it became legal? In this scenario, the court will most likely use the date of marriage as the starting point for determining what’s marital property and what isn’t.

Child Custody

Child custody issues in same-sex divorces can be especially complicated since North Carolina law has not kept up with the realities of potential issues involving married or unmarried same-sex couples.

Unless both partners have legally adopted the child, only one parent may be the natural parent or legal parent of a child under North Carolina law. If only one parent is the natural or legal parent, the other parent may have to proceed as a third party and seek custody by showing that the natural or legal parent has acted inconsistently with their constitutionally protected rights and obligations. This is a complicated area of the law, and you should speak with an experienced family law attorney about your rights if you find yourself in this situation.

RELATED ARTICLE: Custody Battles May Play Out Differently for Same-Sex Couples in North Carolina

Contact Myers Law for Help With Your Divorce in Charlotte, North Carolina

At Myers Law, we’ve handled same-sex divorce and custody cases for clients in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County, and we’re ready to advocate for you if you need us. We can fight back on your behalf against unfair court rulings and help you navigate the complications that North Carolina law can cause for same-sex spouses and parents.

If you have concerns about how a court might handle your same-sex divorce, get in touch with us today. Call us at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or complete our quick and easy online contact form to schedule your initial consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Child Custody and Relocating

Divorce is difficult on the entire family, but children are often affected the hardest. If you are a divorced or separated parent and are considering relocating with your child, you should know that you might not be allowed to move, especially if the court decides the relocation is not in the child’s best interest.

If you are moving a relatively short distance or the move will not affect the current custody arrangement, the move should not be an issue. However, to move your child out of the state or a considerable distance within the state, you will need either an agreement with the other parent or court approval. If you have questions about whether you need to get approval to move or if you need help convincing a court that you should be able to relocate with your child, you should speak with an experienced family law and child custody attorney.

In this article, we’ll highlight a few key custody terms and discuss how a court will determine whether a custodial parent can move with their child.

5 Key Child Custody Terms

Child custody can be complicated, so before you dive into whether you can relocate with your child, make sure you understand these five custody terms.

  1. Primary Custodial Parent: The parent who has primary physical custody of the child — meaning the child lives with that parent most of the time.
  2. Legal Custody: The right to make decisions for the child that have lasting or more long-term significance, such as decisions about education, religious practice, and healthcare.
  3. Joint Custody: Both parents have relatively equal physical and/or legal custody of the child.
  4. Visitation: The time the child spends with the parent who does not have primary custody, as outlined in the custody agreement.
  5. Relocation: The custodial parent is seeking to move away with the child — either out of state or a certain distance away.

RELATED ARTICLE: 5 Child Custody Myths, Debunked

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What Determines Whether I Can Relocate With My Child?

If you are trying to move your child out of state or a significant distance away and cannot reach an agreement about the relocation with the other parent, the court has the right to determine whether you can move. There are often advdantages and disadvantages regarding the relocation of a child during a custody case. So, if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the court will likely permit the move.

The court will have to determine whether, in the judge’s opinion, the move is in the best interest of the child. In a move-away case, there are a variety of factors the judge will consider when making this determination, including:

1. What are the advantages of the relocation in terms of improving the life of the child?

This factor looks at how the move will make life better for the child. Examples may include moving closer to the parent’s family so there is a better support network, whether the schools are substantially better in the new location, or if the weather in the new location might help a chronic health problem the child has.

2. What are the motives of the primary custodial parent in seeking the move?

Sometimes, a parent will attempt to move out of state to avoid court rulings or to make visitation more difficult. These are certainly negative reasons to move, and the court will not look favorably on them. However, if you have a legitimate reason to move, such as for a new job, safer neighborhood, or better school district, your motives will be viewed as having a positive impact on the child.

3. What is the likelihood that the primary custodial parent will comply with visitation orders?

Depending on how far you are trying to relocate, visitation could become difficult. A visitation and travel agreement will need to be worked out with the other parent. The court will consider how likely you are to comply with the visitation agreement and assist the other parent with their visitation rights and arrangements.

4. Does the noncustodial parent have a reason to resist the relocation?

Sometimes a noncustodial parent may have legitimate reasons to resist the child’s relocation. If the noncustodial parent has a concern about how the relocation will affect the child or their relationship with the child, they will likely hire an attorney to help them present a strong argument against the relocation. You should always keep the child’s best interests in mind, but if you believe the noncustodial parent would be wrong to resist the relocation, hire an experienced family law attorney for help supporting your move.

5. Will the relocation significantly weaken the noncustodial parent’s relationship with the child?

Another reason a noncustodial parent may oppose the relocation is if they are concerned that it may have a serious effect on their relationship with the child. The stress and hassle of long-distance visitation and travel arrangements can make visits less frequent, shorter, and less enjoyable. If the relocation is likely to have such a negative effect on the relationship between the noncustodial parent and child, the court may deny the request. In this case, it is important to prove to the court that you will do whatever is necessary to help the noncustodial parent foster their relationship with your child.

The judge should consider all the factors outlined above, and no one factor trumps the others. There may also be other factors to bring up when considering a move or opposing a move, depending on the facts of your case.

Myers Law Firm: Experienced Family Law and Child Custody Attorneys

Not sure if you need permission to relocate with your child? Contact Myers Law Firm to discuss your custody and relocation options. Our experienced family law and child custody attorneys will help you understand your rights and options.

Call today at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or complete this brief online form for your free consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Divorce Book Recommendations

Everyone processes stress and grief differently. When going through a rough divorce, talking to friends and family or seeking professional advice can be a huge help. But for those who enjoy sitting down and relaxing with a good book, reading can be another effective coping strategy.

In this article, we recommend six books that provide empathy, advice, and humor to help you get through your divorce.

Myers Law Firm receives no financial compensation for recommending these books, and the opinions and views expressed in the books listed do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of Myers Law Firm. For legal advice about your divorce, please contact us or read some of the other resources on our blog.

True Stories From People Who Understand

For some, one of the best way to cope with the turmoil of divorce is by reading memoirs written by people who have been through a similar journey. The first two books on our list are true stories from people just like you who provide inspiration and advice during this difficult time.

  • Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimist’s Journey Through the Hell of Divorce

This memoir by Stacy Morrison is an emotional telling of her divorce experience as a working mom in a high-pressure job in New York. Falling Apart in One Piece is an honest tale of loss, love, and forgiveness. Although angled more toward women in heterosexual divorce situations, Morrison’s story could inspire anyone going through the divorce process.

  • Falling Forward: A Man’s Memoir of Divorce

While most divorce memoirs are written by women, in Falling Forward by Chris Easterly, readers from both sexes get rare insight into a divorce from a man’s perspective. This memoir follows Easterly through his wife’s affair, their divorce, and his healing process.

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The Nitty-Gritty Divorce Self-Help Books

If step-by-step self-help books are more your thing, these two should be at the top of your list. And if you need more information about the divorce process in North Carolina, check out these FAQs.

  • Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

    Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliot is a true nitty-gritty self-help book. If you prefer a more analytical and strategic approach to working through divorce rather than a purely emotional, faith-based approach, Elliot’s advice style should be right up your alley.

  • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

    Katherine Thomas’ book, Conscious Uncoupling, provides more emotionally charged advice to empower readers. This book is written not only for people going through a divorce but also provides advice that could apply to any relationship.

Divorce Tales for When You Just Need a Laugh

Divorces are full of turmoil. Between the legal and financial aspects of your divorce and emotional talks with friends and family, sometimes you just want to read something a little lighthearted. If you need to take a break from true stories and self-help books, these two stories of divorce and love can help put a smile on your face.

  • Eat, Pray, Love

    The classic favorite, Eat, Pray, Love, is the mostly true account of author Elizabeth Gilbert’s divorce. While her radical approach to divorce is not to be construed as advice or a healthy way to deal with your divorce, this tale of her emotional and literal journey can serve as needed inspiration and humor during your divorce.

  • Heartburn

    Nora Ephron takes the ridiculous even further in her book, Heartburn. This story about fictional character Rachel and her cheating ex-husband, Mark, is light and full of comedy but may not be for everyone at all stages of divorce.
    As previously mentioned, these two books are intended for recreational reading only and not to be taken as suggestions for handling your divorce. If you are looking for more advice, please read this article on healthy ways to deal with the stress of divorce.

Myers Law Firm: Compassionate, Dedicated Divorce Attorneys for Clients in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County

Reading can be an excellent resource for helping you cope with the turmoil of your divorce, but if you need help with the legal aspects of your divorce, please give Myers Law Firm a call. Our skilled and experienced divorce attorneys can help you handle the legal aspects of your divorce and will work with you every step of the way.

Please contact us today by calling (888) 376-ATTY or completing this brief form to schedule your free consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

Schedule Your Consultation Now!

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