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Divorce Mediation

After years of struggling, you and your spouse decide to end your marriage. But you’re still on fairly good terms with each other, and you don’t want a long, drawn-out process that will cost you time, money, and sanity.

If this situation seems familiar to you, mediation may be a good option. Divorce proceedings can be extremely painful and contentious even when the split is amicable, and couples have the best of intentions. Divorcing spouses that can commit to taking a collaborative approach to their separation often have better financial and emotional outcomes than those who do not.

In this blog article, we’ll review how the divorce mediation process works in North Carolina and explain some of the advantages and downsides. Keep reading to learn more or contact one of our North Carolina divorce attorneys to schedule a consultation.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work? What Can I Expect?

Mediation is a process that helps divorcing couples reach a fair and equitable resolution through collaboration and compromise with the assistance of an experienced mediator.

This process offers couples a confidential alternative to a litigated case, where the process becomes very public and the judge’s orders may not seem fair to either spouse.

Here are the basic steps:

  • Selecting an attorney. When couples separate, even if they seem to be on good terms, they should both seek independent legal advice prior to the mediation. While they may have agreed to resolve their issues through mediation, their legal positions are adverse to each other. A mediator should not give legal advice to either party. Each party needs to understand the law surrounding their legal issues and their options.
  • Information gathering. Prior to the mediation session, you’ll need to work with your attorney to put together the information necessary for an effective mediation. This will require exchanging financial documents about your assets—tax returns, bank statements, property details, debts, etc., with your spouse and their attorney.
  • Selecting a mediator. You should work with your lawyer to determine options for mediators that would be a good fit for your case. The mediators differ in experience, cost, availability, and demeanor.
  • Joint mediation session. Once the attorneys have exchanged the necessary information and agreed on the mediator, the mediation session occurs. Mediations usually start in the morning and can go into the night. If necessary, the mediation can be paused and resumed at a later date. During the mediation, the parties/attorneys are split into separate rooms and the mediator goes back and forth with settlement offers to try to get an agreement. Ideally, the issues are narrowed as various points can be agreed upon.
  • Memorandum of understanding. If mediation sessions result in mutual agreement on the settlement terms, the mediator or one of the attorneys may write up a short summary of the terms. However, the terms are not final yet.
  • Finalized divorce agreement. After the mediation, one of the attorneys will prepare the formal settlement document and discuss it with their client. The draft document will be sent to the other attorney for review and approval. Once the settlement documents are final, they are signed and notarized or signed and submitted to the court for signature by a judge.

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When you’re facing the uncertainty of divorce, it can be hard to understand your legal options and know which one is right for you. This is especially true when you are trying to balance protecting your rights and property versus avoiding an expensive, drawn-out, bitter divorce.

Even during divorces that are less than friendly, mediation can still be an effective way to move forward. The key to a successful mediation is that both spouses show up ready to listen, communicate, and compromise.

Generally, mediation is the best option to resolve cases because it avoids the drawn-out and costly court process.

Potential Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Some of the main benefits of mediation include:

  • Affordability. Mediation is usually much cheaper than going through a litigated case in court. Usually, each spouse pays for half the cost of the mediator.
  • Confidentiality. Court proceedings are public, but everything that happens in mediation remains confidential. Even if mediation sessions fail and the divorcing parties end up in court anyway, no one can reveal what you or your spouse said in mediation sessions.
  • Preserving relationships. If children are involved in the separation, you’ll probably have to maintain a relationship with your spouse for a long time. No matter how you feel about your spouse, it will be better for both you and your children if you keep that relationship civil and constructive. Mediation can spare both parties the conflict and emotional pain that comes with lengthy court proceedings, which can leave you with a better foundation for a positive relationship with your ex.
  • Known outcome. With mediation, you and your spouse decide the terms of the separation. The mediator does not make any decisions— only the parties. While the parties may not be happy about the outcome, they have worked to get an arrangement in place that they both agree they can live with. When the decision is placed in the hands of a judge, the parties lose all control over the outcome.

RELATED: 8 New Year’s Resolutions for a Healthier Divorce

When Is Divorce Mediation Not Recommended?

Divorce mediation isn’t for everyone.

If your relationship with your spouse involves domestic violence or abuse (physical, emotional, or financial), mediation may not be a reasonable option. Many domestic violence and abuse situations involve emotional manipulation by the abuser, and victims can risk even further abuse if they open themselves up to their abusive ex via mediation.

Also, remember that mediation is non-binding, and the mediator can only offer suggestions and proposals—they do not make any decisions. If your spouse is never going to agree to anything that is remotely reasonable, you may want to save the money that would be spent on mediation and proceed to court.

Facing Divorce in North Carolina? Call Myers Law Firm

If you or someone you love is facing divorce, separating through mediation with the support of a divorce lawyer may be a good option. At Myers Law Firm, we support our clients through each step of the divorce process and explore every option to get them the best outcome we can.

If you have questions about your divorce case, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We’ll meet with you in a confidential consultation and help you understand your rights and options.

To schedule your consultation with an attorney from Myers Law Firm, please call (888) 376-2889 or fill out our quick online contact form.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Same-Sex Divorce Can Be Complicated

Same-sex marriages have been legal in North Carolina since October 2014, and legal in every state since the US Supreme Court ruling 2015. Unfortunately, having your same-sex marriage recognized as legal doesn’t always translate to receiving equal or fair treatment, and some same-sex couples are running into unique problems while seeking a divorce. One point of contention: how to determine when the marriage began, and how that affects property division.

Same-sex marriages and domestic partnerships first started becoming legal at the turn of the 21st century, but at that time it was on a state-by-state basis. Many same-sex couples lived in domestic partnerships, cohabitation arrangements, or marriages that took place in other states before their state began recognizing and performing same-sex marriages.

While North Carolina law applies the same set of rules for marriage, separation, and divorce for any couple regardless of sex or gender, people in same-sex marriages may be more likely to encounter certain complications. If you are considering a same-sex divorce, there are some things you should know.

Does Long-Term Cohabitation Matter When Same-Sex Couples Divorce?

Following the legalization of same-sex marriage in North Carolina, some of the most memorable and heartwarming stories that circulated in the media came from gay couples who had been in long-term domestic partnerships for decades. These relationships were only lacking the legal sanction of a marriage certificate.

But what happens when such couples later decide to get divorced? The reality is that gay couples face the same challenges as opposite-sex couples when it comes to navigating difficulties in their finances, family structure, and personal lives. Do same-sex spouses, if they decide they need to separate, receive consideration under the law for the years of domestic partnership during which they had no legal option to marry?

The short answer is that, in North Carolina, a family court will consider a same-sex couple’s marriage to begin on the date they were legally married— regardless of any period of cohabitation leading up to that point. This means that for a same-sex divorce, couples should prepare for the court to consider the actual date they were married as the date they began to accumulate marital property.

It’s worth noting that the same rules apply to opposite-sex couples who lived together for a long time before getting married.

RELATED: How Does Separate Property Become Marital Property?

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Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions

A same-sex couple preparing a meal and smiling at each other

Many same-sex couples entered into a domestic partnership or civil union because they were unable to marry, and these legal partnerships provided some of the state benefits of being married. When gay marriage became legal, some states automatically converted civil unions into marriages, but others didn’t. The result is that if you got married while you were still domestic partners with another party, you may be in two legally binding relationships and will need to dissolve both.

Same-sex couples in North Carolina may wonder whether they could have a common law marriage if they lived together and acted as a married couple for a long enough period of time. The simple answer is “no;” North Carolina isn’t a common law marriage state, although it will recognize common law marriages that were established in other states.

Spousal Support in Same-Sex Divorces

In a North Carolina divorce, spousal support (which is called postseparation support when it’s temporary and alimony when it’s long-term) is financial support paid by a supporting spouse to a dependent spouse after separation. One of the factors a judge will look at when ruling on alimony is the length of the marriage.

For heterosexual couples, determining when a marriage began is easy. In North Carolina, however, same-sex marriage wasn’t legal until 2014, which complicates things for couples who got married out of state before 2014 but are now trying to get a same-sex divorce. The court should recognize the date of the marriage as the beginning of the marriage, even if it took place out of state, when it comes to spousal support.

However, if you had a domestic partnership or civil union, that may not qualify for the same status as a marriage. In that instance, if you get divorced, you may not receive spousal support for the time before you were officially married.

Child Custody Battles in a Same-Sex Divorce

A same-sex couple enjoying family time with two children in their living room

One big difference from opposite-sex marriages is child custody. A same-sex couple may have to deal with different legal needs during a child custody dispute. There are some cases where one spouse may be the biological parent, and the other spouse may have adopted the child to become the legal parent. In other cases both parents become legal parents through adoption.

The bigger problems arise in the divorce process when the non-biological parent is not a legal parent.

RELATED: What Are the Grounds for Full Custody of a Child in North Carolina?

What Happens When Both Parties Are Legal Parents?

The nationwide recognition of same-sex marriage now means that for married couples, courts should handle child custody disputes and child support arrangements for legal parents in the same way as opposite-sex parents.

Same-sex parents can gain full parental rights by legally adopting a child. In North Carolina, this can only happen when the parties have married and the non-biological parent(s) adopts the child.

For same-sex couples who have married and the non-biological parent has adopted the child separate, both parents have equal rights to pursue custody.

Of course, just like between opposite-sex couples, your custody case will not be simple. Judges consider many different factors as they decide what child custody arrangement would serve the child’s best interests, and the resulting legal cases can be very complex and time-consuming. Likewise, child support considerations can also be complicated, just as with heterosexual couples who split up.

RELATED: What You Need to Know About North Carolina Child Support

What if Only One Party Is a Legal Parent?

If only one of you is the child’s legal parent, things suddenly become a lot more complicated and uncertain. In general, if you’re not a legal parent to a child, you won’t have any legal rights as a parent, including the right to seek physical or legal custody of the child. You also may not be able to seek visitation rights, and you usually won’t have any financial obligation to support the child, either.

Parents have a constitutionally-protected right to the control of their children, which prevents third parties from being able to seek custody from a parent or parents. However, this constitutionally-protected right can be overcome if a third party shows that the parent (1) is unfit, (2) has neglected the child, or (3) has acted inconsistently with their constitutionally-protected status.

For custody cases involving same-sex divorce, the “acted inconsistent with their constitutionally protected status” is the factor that is used the most. One way that a parent acts inconsistent with their protected status is by voluntarily creating a relationship with a third party that is “in the nature of” a parent-child relationship (in other words, by allowing everyone involved to act as though the third party is the child’s actual parent).

In at least one legal case since the Supreme Court marriage equality ruling, the parties had lived together for 20 months after the birth of the child. The court held that living together for that long as a family would be sufficient to show the legal parent acted inconsistent with their protected status.

Other Considerations for Same-Sex Couples

LGBTQ+ couples may want to know how federal law and state statutes in North Carolina will affect them in a divorce or other family law matter. Here are some of the most important things to note:

  • Any same-sex couple in North Carolina should understand that when it comes to marital property, our state is an equitable distribution state (as opposed to a community property state). This means that the court will divide the couple’s assets “equitably” (which is not necessarily the same thing as “equally”) based on a number of different legal considerations. In general, equitable distribution states allow the judge in a family law case wide latitude to decide who gets what.
  • Same-sex couples who marry and then break up need to divorce if they want to finalize the end of their marriage. This may seem obvious, but prior to 2015, some gay couples could have faced a situation where they married in a state that allowed same-sex marriage and then moved to a state that didn’t recognize the validity of the marriage, thus making it difficult to obtain a divorce. Spouses need to understand that, absent a formal divorce, they are still legally married, and any assets or property that they accrued prior to separation is still part of the marital estate in the eyes of North Carolina law.

These are just a few of the issues that same-sex couples now have to navigate when it comes to family law; all of the different legal considerations that could come into play during a divorce or other family law matter are too numerous to list here. In general, if you’re in a same-sex relationship and are facing divorce, it’s critical that you consult with an experienced family law attorney who can explain your legal rights and options — and who can advocate for you based on an extensive knowledge of the law.

RELATED: Is Everything Split 50/50 in a Divorce in North Carolina?

Myers Law Firm Is Here to Help with Your Family Law Issues

At Myers Law Firm, we understand that the end of a marriage is never an easy time for either spouse, so we approach every family law case with compassion and understanding to search for solutions. While we excel at respectful negotiation and will work to find common ground with the other side, we are ready to stand up in court and fight for your rights with an aggressive approach if that’s what it takes.

The attorneys at Myers Law Firm have experience handling all of the major family law issues that surround the end of a marriage, including alimony, child custody, child support, property division, and divorce. We’re here if you need help. To get in touch with us, call our offices at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out the contact form on our website.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Business Owners and Divorce

Getting divorced is usually challenging and stressful, even if the separation is an amicable one. And it becomes even more complicated for business owners.

If you own a limited liability company (LLC), you are probably wondering how those business assets are treated during your divorce proceedings.

Between understanding what property is subject to division and protecting your assets, there are numerous legal issues to consider when spouses separate in North Carolina. Fortunately, there are measures business owners can take to protect their business in the event of a divorce.

Keep reading to learn more about your options.

What is a Limited Liability Company (LLC)?

A woman reviewing business paperwork for an LLC

An LLC is a type of business designation used to protect your business and give you more control. For a family business, multiple people may be owners, or “members.” The portion each person owns is their membership interest. This ownership interest counts as personal property in the event of a divorce, unless some measures are taken to protect it as non-marital property.

A single-member LLC is a popular way to file a business. However, personal and business assets can seem like a gray area, since an owner is personally responsible for the business’s taxes and debts.

Families can create LLCs to ensure the family business is easily passed down to the next generation. A Family Limited Partnership offers protections for generational wealth, including a method to shield inheritances from taxes.

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How Is an LLC Treated in a Divorce?

The answer depends on when the LLC was formed, whether there are divorce protections in the LLC operating agreement, and each spouse’s interest in the company.

If your spouse has any membership interest, or even if they contributed to the LLC in any way, the interest in the LLC can be deemed marital property and therefore be subject to North Carolina’s equitable distribution state laws. This means the property, or the business interests, must be divided fairly between the spouses.

A fair division might depend on how much membership interest each spouse has. Some businesses are not easily divided. The divorce court may see fit for one spouse to buy out the other spouse’s ownership interest. In other cases, it may be possible to negotiate for one spouse to keep the LLC marital property in exchange for another valuable asset, like the house.

RELATED: Navigating a High-Asset Divorce in North Carolina: What You Need to Know

Protect Your Business in Advance

A person on the phone and taking notes

The best way to protect your business is to take proactive measures before you get married. No one expects to get divorced when they commit to marriage, but small business owners should consider taking steps to protect their LLCs before they become marital assets.

  • Build Your Business Ownership Strategically

As you launch your business, consider building in provisions that protect the company, such as in the LLC’s operating agreement. Creating an LLC (limited liability corporation) or C-corporation allows business owners to title real estate and property to the business. While your interest in the business may be marital property, creating a formal structure helps prevent individual assets owned by the business from being subject to division in the divorce settlement.

  • Sign a Prenuptial Agreement

Creating a prenuptial agreement might seem cold at first glance. However, this binding contract is an effective way to protect property acquired prior to the marriage. This agreement, which gets signed before the wedding, outlines what happens to property, businesses, assets, and income if the couple separates or divorces. A prenuptial agreement is especially useful if both spouses are entitled to LLC ownership, together or separately.

RELATED: How Do Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Affect Divorce?

It's Not Too Late to Protect Your Business

If you’re a small business owner in North Carolina, you can still protect your business even if it is currently considered marital property.

  • Understand Separate vs. Marital Property

As estates are separated, it’s important to understand what property is considered individually held and what is shared. Any property that was acquired or grown during the marriage—including a business—is generally considered a marital asset even though it is only in the name of one party. Other marital assets include retirement account contributions made during the marriage, savings accounts, or the family car and home. All marital assets and debts are subject to division. North Carolina is an equitable distribution state, which means that divorce courts start with a 50/50 marital property division. However, you can still make arguments during negotiations and in court for an unequal division.

Separate property includes property owned prior to the marriage, one spouse’s inheritance received during the marriage, a business started before the marriage, or a business interest that is protected by an operating agreement ahead of time.

  • Create a Postnup

If you need to protect your small business but you didn’t implement protective legal measures before getting married, a postnuptial agreement is a good option. Like a prenup, a postnup is a signed agreement between spouses, but this type of agreement is signed after the marriage. A postnuptial agreement is a notarized document that can designate assets as separate property or outline how they are divided in the event of a divorce, including LLC membership interest. Creating a postnup with the help of an experienced divorce attorney is a good option for those interested in protecting their business after they’re married.

RELATED: How Do You Divide a 401(k) in a Divorce?

If the Divorce Process Has Already Begun

Closeup of separately clasped hands of a couple sitting across from each other at a table

If you are already in the divorce process and have a small business like an LLC that is subject to division, you must have a value to assign to the business.

  • Obtain a Valuation for the Business

A business valuation determines the value of the business for property division purposes. As estates are divided during a divorce, knowing the value of the business (if they are considered marital property) is a critical factor for the division process. Businesses can be evaluated based on the value of tangible (savings, inventory, or equipment) and intangible assets (client relationships). The sum of any liabilities (loans, payroll, or anything else the business may owe) are subtracted from the value of the assets to determine the total value. The divorce court must receive a business valuation to include the business in the division of marital assets. Contacting a family law attorney who has experience working with small business owners minimizes the time, risk, and stress involved in the settlement agreement. They’ll know how to handle other members, co-owners, or your spouse’s contribution with the help of financial experts.

Hire a Lawyer—Whether You've Prepared or Not

Divorce can be emotional and messy. Having an experienced attorney on your side who understands the complexity of running a small business can make a difficult situation less challenging. A good lawyer can guide you through the valuation process, creating a postnuptial agreement, and property division, among other complicated aspects of your divorce case.

If you’re an LLC business owner in Mecklenburg County facing a divorce, Myers Law Firm is here to support you. We’re experienced, compassionate divorce lawyers with a proven track record, ready to advocate on your behalf. To schedule your initial consultation with one of our attorneys, please call our Charlotte office at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

Schedule Your Consultation Now!

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Answers to the Top FAQs About North Carolina Divorce

If you’re considering filing for divorce, you may not know where or how to begin. To help you navigate this unfamiliar and intimidating situation, we’ve compiled answers to the most frequently asked questions about divorce in North Carolina.

The claims for custody, child support, equitable distribution, and alimony are separate from the claim for divorce, which only results in severing your marriage. This is very important! The claims for equitable distribution and alimony must be settled or filed in court prior to the granting of the divorce.

Note that divorce laws vary from state to state. You should not assume the answers in this FAQ apply to your situation if you live in a state other than North Carolina.

What are the requirements to file for divorce in North Carolina?

To file for divorce in North Carolina, the couple must have been separated for one year, and one party must have resided in North Carolina for at least six months prior to filing.

In North Carolina, you must live in separate homes and at least one party must have the intent to no longer be in the marital relationship. Sleeping in separate beds and refraining from sexual contact does not meet the state’s definition of “separate and apart.”

LEARN MORE: What’s the Process Behind Serving Divorce Papers?

What is the residency requirement to file for divorce in North Carolina?

At least one spouse must have resided in North Carolina for six months before either spouse can file for divorce in the state.

Do I need to file legal paperwork to separate from my spouse?

A man reviewing legal paperwork

No. There’s no paperwork requirement for a legal separation in North Carolina. If you move into a separate residence and at least one spouse intends to remain separated permanently, then you and your spouse are legally separated.

North Carolina does recognize separation agreements. A separation agreement is a private contract between married individuals that is intended to resolve most or all of the issues surrounding separation by mutual agreement, such as property division, custody, spousal support, and child support. A comprehensive separation agreement, in which both parties fully agree on the full terms of separation, is the best option to avoid a potentially messy and costly court case.

However, as mentioned above, separation agreements are not required in order to be considered legally separated or to get a divorce. They have many advantages, but it’s not always possible for separating spouses to come to an agreement between themselves.

LEARN MORE: Separation Agreements in North Carolina: What You Need to Know

I just got served with divorce papers – what should I do?

The best thing you can do to protect your rights and assets is to contact an experienced divorce attorney and get personalized legal advice right away.

LEARN MORE: What to Do When Your Spouse Serves Divorce Papers

What if I want a divorce, but my spouse doesn’t?

You don’t need consent from the other spouse to file divorce papers in North Carolina. If you have lived separate and apart for one year and if one of you has lived in North Carolina for at least six months prior to filing, you can petition for divorce. You do, however, have to properly serve the other spouse with the divorce papers.

LEARN MORE: What Happens When One Spouse Doesn’t Want a Divorce in North Carolina?

How do I file for divorce?

A closeup of paperwork and a hand holding a pen to sign with it

The person filing must fill out a Domestic Civil Action Cover Sheet, a Civil Summons, and a Complaint for Absolute Divorce. (Mecklenburg County residents can download a copy from the Self-Help Center of Mecklenburg County; these forms may not be accepted in other North Carolina courts).

Afterward, you’ll need to file these forms with the Clerk of Court’s office in your county. Remember to keep copies of every form for your own records.

LEARN MORE: How to Obtain an Absolute Divorce in Mecklenburg County

How much will the divorce process cost?

You can determine the costs for filing the above forms on the North Carolina Courts website or by calling your county’s Clerk of Court office.

However, beyond these filing fees, additional costs are difficult to estimate. For example, you may incur costs for serving the other party, filing additional documents with the courts, and petitioning to have your name legally changed.

LEARN MORE: 9 Ways to Save on Legal Fees During a Divorce

How long will the divorce process take?

The length of time until a judge grants your divorce is difficult to estimate. Once you file the Absolute Divorce Complaint, the papers must be served on the other party. The other party then has 30 days to respond, and they can receive an additional 30 days upon request.

If you and your spouse don’t agree on some of the issues, such as the date of separation, then you may have to get a hearing where you go in front of a judge, which could delay the process.

If you and your spouse agree on the divorce, we can prepare the necessary paperwork for you. In this scenario, the process usually takes 50 to 60 days.

LEARN MORE: What Are Temporary and Permanent Orders in a Divorce?

What legal issues will I need to address during my divorce case?

The claim for divorce is only one of five possible claims that arise out of a separation. The other four issues are: alimony/spousal support, equitable distribution (the division of marital property), child custody, and child support. Not all of these other claims will necessarily apply to your situation.

Do all the issues have to be resolved before my divorce is granted?

No. These are separate legal issues that can be filed with the court and heard by a judge or resolved by agreement at any time after separation. You do not have to wait the one-year period to deal with those claims.

However, your legal claims for alimony and equitable distribution must be filed with the court (not necessarily resolved) or settled before the divorce is granted. Claims for child custody or child support can be filed at any time.

How is child custody determined?

A mother embracing her child

Parents and courts can determine physical and legal child custody in a number of ways after the separation, including:

  • A mutual agreement between the parties that is not filed with the court
  • A mutual agreement signed by a judge and filed with the court (known as a “consent order”)
  • A decision made by a judge in the course of a lawsuit

When an initial custody decision must be made by a judge, it is their responsibility to determine what is in a child’s best interests and how to translate that into a custody order. North Carolina law creates no presumption between parents, so the process should not be biased toward either spouse at the outset.

LEARN MORE: 7 Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Child Custody Case

How is child support calculated?

Child support in North Carolina is determined in one of two ways. The most common way is that the court will establish child support based on an official set of state guidelines called the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines.

Child support under the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines is based on several factors:

  • The parents’ gross monthly income
  • Any daycare or childcare expenses paid by the parents
  • Health insurance premiums paid by either parent
  • “Extraordinary expenses” paid on behalf of a child, which can include things like expenses for visitation-related travel or private school tuition

The guidelines provide a mathematical formula based on all these factors to calculate an amount that the law considers a reasonable amount of child support.

However, judges in North Carolina do have leeway to depart from these guidelines and set a different amount for child support. Usually, this happens because one spouse provides evidence to show that the amount calculated by the guidelines is not a reasonable amount of support based on the unique facts of the case.

LEARN MORE: What To Do When The Other Parent Won’t Pay Child Support

How can I stop paying child support?

When child support has been ordered and you are the supporting parent, you must pay on time and in full. Not paying court-ordered child support can lead to wage garnishment, fines, felony charges, and prison time.

The only way you can stop paying the full amount of child support is to successfully file a motion with the court to modify or end child support payments. This is true even if your child turns 18, gets married, or otherwise experiences a life change that would end child support.

LEARN MORE: When and How Can I Modify Child Support in North Carolina?

What is the equitable distribution process and how does it work?

Equitable distribution is the legal method for property division that’s used by North Carolina courts. Based on the equitable distribution theory, a judge begins with the presumption that a 50-50 division of property is most fair. From that starting point, it’s up to either spouse to provide evidence and arguments that demonstrate that they deserve more than a 50 percent share.

LEARN MORE: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During a Divorce

Can I get (or will I have to pay) alimony?

In North Carolina, alimony (also known as post-separation support or spousal support) is determined by the courts, and it isn’t applicable in all cases. If you feel you are entitled to spousal support, you should contact an attorney. An experienced attorney should be able to help you compile the necessary paperwork to prove that you were a dependent spouse or to prove that you were a victim of marital misconduct—both factors that can play a role in whether a court determines alimony is appropriate in your case.

LEARN MORE: Who Gets Alimony in North Carolina and Why?

How is spousal support (alimony) calculated?

When North Carolina judges award alimony, the amount varies from case to case based on a wide range of factors. Some of those factors can include:

  • How long the marriage lasted
  • Each spouse’s income and earnings capacity
  • Each spouse’s age and their current physical, mental, and emotional state
  • Whether there has been marital misconduct such as abuse or infidelity
  • The standard of living for both spouses during the marriage
  • The property each spouse brought to the marriage
  • Either spouse’s contributions as a homemaker
  • Contributions that either spouse made to the other’s education, training, or professional advancement
  • The education level of each spouse and their ability to obtain further education or training that they may need to support themselves

LEARN MORE: How Does Alimony Work in North Carolina?

What is the impact of marital misconduct on divorce?

North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state, so there does not need to be any marital misconduct for one spouse to initiate a separation and then file for divorce. However, marital misconduct such as cheating and abuse can affect the legal issues related to divorce.

Specifically, marital misconduct could affect alimony if the supporting spouse (the spouse who pays) is the one who committed the misconduct, and it can also affect child custody if the misconduct had a significant negative effect on your child’s wellbeing. Marital misconduct generally does not affect property division during a divorce.

LEARN MORE: The Role of Marital Misconduct in North Carolina Divorce Cases

Do I have to go to court to get a divorce?

Not necessarily. If you and your spouse agree on the divorce, we can handle the divorce claim without you having to go to court. 

With regard to the other issues which may apply in your situation (alimony, equitable distribution, child custody, child support), if you and your spouse settle these claims outside of court, then you will not need to appear in court to resolve those issues either. If, however, there are disputes that you can’t resolve through compromise, then you will have to go to court.

Is my divorce a high-asset divorce?

A high-asset divorce is one that involves a significant total value in assets. Usually, spouses in a high-asset divorce have total household incomes upwards of $250,000 per year. The spouses may also have high-value assets such as:

  • Real estate holdings, sometimes including multiple homes
  • Multiple cars or other vehicles
  • Family-held or jointly owned businesses
  • Retirement and investment accounts
  • Inheritance/trust interest
  • Expensive/unique collections such as valuable artwork and jewelry

LEARN MORE: Navigating a High-Asset Divorce in North Carolina

Do I have to hire a lawyer?

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You can get divorced in North Carolina without hiring or even speaking with a lawyer. However, talking with an experienced divorce attorney before you begin the divorce process may be in your best interest. North Carolina divorce laws are complex and not always easy to understand.

An attorney can listen to the facts of your situation and should be able to give you expert, practical advice about your legal rights and options. They can also argue on your behalf in court, and they may be able to draw from their knowledge of the law to highlight important information that could affect the outcome of your case. Sometimes, this information might be a detail or event that a person with no legal training would have a hard time recognizing as important or even relevant.

If you are seeking alimony or wish to make any other claims, an attorney should ensure that these claims are properly addressed. Once your divorce is granted, you cannot make further claims for alimony or equitable distribution, so it’s important that you handle these matters carefully and thoroughly during the divorce process. Additionally, if you and your spouse disagree on child support or the division of marital property, an attorney can help you craft a separation agreement and mediate on your behalf.

LEARN MORE: Considering a DIY Divorce? Read This First

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Contact Myers Law Firm, a Trusted Source in Family Law for Clients in Mecklenburg County

If you are considering filing for divorce or if you are going through a divorce, the professionals at Myers Law Firm are here to help. From determining child custody to dividing personal property, our team of professionals is prepared to answer any questions you may have and guide you through every step of the process. While we pride ourselves in handling divorce issues peaceably and efficiently, we are dedicated first and foremost to protecting and advocating for your rights.

To schedule your initial consultation with an experienced family law attorney, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us online using our online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Navigating a High-Asset Divorce in North Carolina

Each divorce process is unique, and so are the legal issues that surround it. But if there’s one general rule that holds across most divorces, it’s that the more money and assets that are involved in a divorce, the more complex and expensive the process tends to be. High-asset divorce cases can easily become complicated, lengthy, and stressful for both spouses.

Is My Divorce a High-Asset Divorce?

A couple at a table with divorce papers and wedding rings

There’s no strict definition for a high-asset divorce, but in general, a high-asset divorce is one that involves a significant total value in assets. Spouses in a high-asset divorce often have total household incomes exceeding $250,000 per year, and these divorces often involve high-value assets such as (but not necessarily limited to):

  • Real estate holdings, sometimes including multiple homes
  • Multiple cars or other vehicles
  • Family-held or jointly owned businesses
  • Retirement and investment accounts
  • Inheritance/trust interest
  • Expensive/unique collections such as valuable artwork and jewelry

On one hand, high-asset divorces are not totally different from divorces that involve fewer assets and less money. Wealthy or high-earning couples still need to resolve the same fundamental legal issues that every divorcing couple does, including child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. But the way these processes play out—especially when it comes to the length and complexity of negotiations and legal proceedings—can look very different during a high-asset divorce settlement.

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How Assets Are Divided in a North Carolina Divorce

A valuable house with a beautiful lawn

In a North Carolina divorce, property division is based on a philosophy of “equitable distribution,” which means that the court starts out with the presumption that the spouses are entitled to an even 50/50 split of any marital property that was acquired from the date of marriage through the date of separation.

However, not all of the assets owned by spouses are necessarily marital assets. During the divorce process, the court will classify all the assets owned by either or both spouses into two main categories:

  • Separate property is property that one spouse either owned independently before the marriage or received as a gift or inheritance during the marriage. Note that gifts and inheritances must be intended for only one spouse to be considered separate property. Also, assets purchased with separate property remain separate property if certain parameters are met.
  • Marital property is all the non-separate property that either spouse acquired from the time they got married through the date of separation. Usually, it doesn’t matter if a property or asset is only listed in the name of one spouse. If it was acquired during the marriage and is not separate property, it’s marital property.

There’s also a third category of property, divisible property, which includes any property that either changes in value after the date of separation or was earned before the date of separation but not received until after separation. This category is necessary because property can change hands or change value between the date of separation and date of distribution—especially a high-asset divorce that takes time to resolve. Like marital property, divisible property is subject to equitable distribution.

Some other states apply a different standard called “community property.” If you’ve read about this standard, just know that it isn’t relevant to the division of property during divorce proceedings in North Carolina.

What Factors Can Affect Property Division in North Carolina?

So, we know that the court starts out with the presumption that all marital and divisible property should be split 50/50 between the spouses—but we also know it can’t be that simple, or there would be no fighting over assets in any divorces!

In reality, the 50/50 split is just the starting point for negotiations and arguments in the divorce. Each spouse can make arguments before the court explaining why a 50/50 split would be unfair and why they deserve more than a 50 percent share of any assets. And, in addition to arguing for an unequal split, either spouse can produce evidence to show that an asset should be considered their separate property instead of marital property.

RELATED VIDEO: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During a Divorce

How Can I Protect My Assets During a High Net Worth Divorce?

A person filling out paperwork and a miniature house on the table

When you’re facing a complex, high-asset divorce, things can become overwhelming quickly, and it may be hard to know where to begin. The first step—which your attorney can help you with—is to build a complete, accurate picture of all your household and business property: what it is, what it’s worth, where it is, and who owns it.

And when we say all the household and business property, we mean all the property. Even if an asset was acquired outside the marriage and eventually won’t be part of the property distribution process, your attorney, the court, and your spouse’s attorney all need to know about it.

Some of the key steps you can take to build an inventory of property include:

  • Make a written inventory and take pictures or make copies of all valuable possessions and financial documents, including:
    • Deeds
    • Insurance policies
    • Financial accounts, including bank and retirement accounts, as well as investment portfolios
    • Estate planning documents
    • Tax returns
    • Billing, receipts, banking records, tax documents, and any other available financial records for any household or jointly owned businesses
  • Categorize all possessions and assets as one of the following:
    • Marital property (obtained jointly during the marriage)
    • Separate property (owned prior to marriage, or was inherited or received as a gift specifically intended for one spouse)
  • For all separate property, gather proof or documentation that can show the asset was owned prior to the marriage or received by one spouse as a gift or inheritance
  • For any valuable personal property that you own, secure it, and have it professionally appraised to determine its value
  • Change the beneficiary on any of your accounts as needed

Again, if this sounds like a lot to deal with, don’t worry—an experienced divorce attorney should be able to guide you through every step of the process and answer any questions you have along the way.

Can I Hide Assets During a Divorce?

Absolutely not. You should never try to conceal assets during the equitable distribution process. Hiding assets in a divorce is against the law and can lead to consequences including:

  • Court sanctions and penalties
  • Being forced to pay the other spouse’s legal fees
  • Higher alimony payments
  • Being held in contempt of court, which can lead to jail time or even a prison sentence

Unfortunately, the risk of severe legal consequences isn’t always enough to overcome greed, especially when large amounts of money are involved. So, it’s not unheard of for spouses to try to hide assets or accounts during a high-asset divorce.

If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, it’s very important to let your lawyer know right away. Hiding assets is harder today than ever, and an experienced high-asset divorce lawyer should have access to forensic accountants or other expert investigators who can uncover hidden assets. These specialists can examine financial records and trace money across accounts, transactions, and financial institutions to reveal the full and accurate picture of the marital property in a divorce.

RELATED: How to Protect Gifts and Inheritances in a Divorce

Other Issues in a High-Asset Divorce

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Other divorce-related issues besides property division can also become more complex in a high-asset divorce. For example, if the divorcing spouses’ combined monthly gross income is more than $40,000 (as of January 2023), the North Carolina child support guidelines don’t go high enough to set a default amount of support. When this happens, the amount of child support depends completely on negotiation between the spouses and, ultimately, the decision of the judge who handles the child support case.

This example is just one of many ways in which a high-asset divorce can take you into “uncharted territory” where generalized legal advice won’t apply to your situation. Long-term alimony can also become a contentious issue in high-asset divorce cases.

If you’re currently involved in or facing the prospect of a high-asset divorce, there’s an enormous amount at stake, and any mistake can be incredibly costly. In this situation, you should contact an experienced divorce attorney who has handled high-asset divorces before and can begin building a legal strategy to protect your rights and best interests.

Contact Myers Law Firm for the Experienced Advocates You Need During a North Carolina Divorce

The attorneys of Myers Law Firm have decades of combined experience handling all major family law issues that surround the end of a marriage, including alimony, child custody, child support, property division, and divorce. We’ll always treat you with compassion but also fight relentlessly to protect your rights and best interests.

If you need help with a family law matter in Mecklenburg County, call our offices at (888) 376-2889 or fill out our online contact form today to schedule your initial consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Separation Agreements in North Carolina

Statistically, around half of marriages ultimately end in legal separation and, ultimately, divorce. While some separations are amicable and others are less so, they are rarely quick or simple affairs even in the best of circumstances.

When a couple decides to separate, there are many questions that must be answered. How should the marital property be divided? How will child custody be determined? What amount of child support or spousal support is appropriate?

Often, one of the most amicable and affordable ways to settle these and other important questions is via a separation agreement signed by both parties. When successful, a separation agreement can save families the pain, expense, and frustration of a court battle and give couples a better chance of maintaining amicable personal relationships after separation.

In this post, we will discuss the difference between separation and divorce in North Carolina, what a separation agreement is, how they work, and when couples should consider one.

What Is a Separation Agreement?

Close-up of hands signing a document with a wedding ring on the table

A separation agreement is a private contract between married individuals who intend to separate or are separated from one another.

Over the course of a marriage, couples naturally share and mix property, assets, and income. They make mutual decisions about where to live, what to buy, and how to raise any children they share. The separation agreement can temporarily or permanently resolve most or all the issues that would come up in a divorce, including:

  • Division of real property (land, the marital residence, other buildings)
  • Division of tangible personal property (like cars, jewelry, and other physical items)
  • Division of intangible personal property (like bank accounts, insurance policies, intellectual property or patents)
  • Who is responsible to pay certain debts
  • How custody of children shall be divided
  • Whether one spouse owes spousal support or child support to the other, and how much they should pay

Once signed, separation agreements are legally binding on both parties. Under North Carolina law, a separation agreement must be in writing, and signed and notarized by both parties.

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Who Can Enter a Separation Agreement?

Separation agreements can only be undertaken by couples who have already separated, or who will separate immediately after the agreement is signed. The terms must be agreed to willingly by both parties, not under duress or coercion, and with full knowledge of the relevant facts.

Under North Carolina law, a couple is considered separated if, and only if, both of the following are true:

  • The spouses are living in separate residences
  • At least one of the two spouses intends for the separation to be permanent

Under North Carolina law, there is no paperwork that needs to be signed to make a separation official. Once one spouse moves out with no desire to return, the couple is considered separated.

If you are still living with your spouse and continue to do so after a separation agreement is signed, you will not be considered separated, and your separation agreement may be considered void by North Carolina courts.

What Is the Difference Between Separation and Divorce?

A couple sitting on a couch while facing opposite directions

Couples are considered separated if they meet the definition we discussed above: they are living separately, and at least one spouse intends the separation to be permanent. Once the couple has been continuously separated for at least one year, they can permanently dissolve the marriage by filing for absolute divorce.

It’s important to understand that a separation agreement does not make a couple legally separated in North Carolina, and one is not needed for a couple to be considered separated or divorced. Unlike many other states, North Carolina does not have an official process or legal status for legally separated couples. Under North Carolina law, there is no legal distinction between couples that are separated but not yet divorced versus those who are still together.

However, that does not mean couples need to wait until divorce to begin resolving questions about property division, child custody, and other important matters. The separation agreement is not affected by the divorce and remains in full force and effect once the divorce is granted. For many couples, a separation agreement is the quickest, fairest, most private and least contentious way to proceed.

RELATED POST: What’s the Difference Between Separation and Divorce in North Carolina? – Myers Law Firm

What Are the Main Advantages of Signing a Separation Agreement?

There are many advantages to a separation agreement instead of going to court. Here are a few of the most notable:

  • Cost. Pursuing claims for custody, support, and property division can be extremely costly affairs, both in the money that is spent on lawyers, but also the length of time involved and the emotional toll it takes on the parties. A separation agreement can be a much cheaper and more efficient way to resolve issues.
  • Lower stress. Even when the split is relatively amicable, court proceedings are intensely painful and frustrating. The more that a separating couple can mutually work out their disagreements outside of court, the better the long-term outcome.
  • Privacy. Because a separation agreement is a private contract between two parties, the terms of the contract are not matters of public record.
  • Protection for both sides (even if there are no current disagreements). When couples separate, they might make verbal promises to one another about their mutual obligations regarding property division, who is responsible for certain debts, and other matters. If the split is amicable, you might initially trust the other party to hold up their end of the deal. But without a formal, binding contract, there’s nothing holding them to their verbal promises if new issues arise or circumstances change. A legally valid separation agreement keeps both parties accountable and protects their rights.
  • Allows for a clean separation before, or even without, a formal divorce. Although most couples who separate do eventually choose to get divorced, some choose to remain legally married (albeit separated) indefinitely. This might be for tax purposes, or so a dependent spouse can keep insurance benefits, or religious beliefs, or just to make it easier to resume the marriage if the couple eventually reconciles. In this case, a separation agreement can be an ideal tool to settle property and custody disputes and build separate lives while retaining certain advantages of still being married.
  • Can later be incorporated into a divorce decree. If you later decide to divorce, the separation agreement may be incorporated into the divorce decree. This comes with advantages and disadvantages. Your separation agreement can specify whether incorporation is mandatory or can be decided at the time of divorce. You should speak with an attorney about whether you want to take this step.

Can a Separation Agreement Be Modified or Terminated?

There are two ways that a separation agreement can be modified:

  • By mutual consent. A separation agreement is legally binding for both spouses, but if the terms of the agreement are no longer satisfactory to both sides, it can be amended or replaced with a new separation agreement. In either case, the new terms would have to be spelled out in writing, signed, and notarized—verbal agreements are not sufficient.
  • By court order. In general, the court cannot modify any terms of a separation agreement that pertain only to adults, except in rare circumstances. However, by law, the court still has ultimate authority over child-related matters, including child custody and child support. If you and your spouse have children together, and your separation agreement includes terms related to child custody or support, they could later be changed by court order if the court believes they are not in the best interests of the child.

Furthermore, a court could potentially overturn a separation agreement if you can show that it was signed under undue influence, coercion, or fraud. However, this is very rare and usually difficult to prove.

Can One Attorney Represent Both Spouses When Drafting a Separation Agreement?

No. This is a conflict of interest. Although our goal is to provide a resolution that is fair to all parties involved, both spouses should retain their own independent counsel to ensure they are receiving impartial legal advice from someone who has their best interests at heart—even if the separation is amicable.

What Happens if My Spouse Refuses to Comply With the Separation Agreement?

If your spouse violates the terms of your separation agreement, you can sue them for breach of contract—as you would for a breach of any other kind of private contract between individuals.

Remedies available for breach of contract include the award of monetary damages, or injunction and specific performance (in other words, the court orders the other spouse to fulfil their contractual obligations).

Note that the above applies only to an unincorporated separation agreement. If the separation agreement is incorporated into a divorce judgment, it can be enforced through contempt of court in a similar manner to a consent order (see below for more info).

What Is the Difference Between a Separation Agreement and a Consent Order (and Which Should I Choose)?

A woman looking thoughtfully out of the window

One common alternative (or companion) to a separation agreement is a consent order.

Like a separation agreement, a consent order can be used to resolve the relevant questions relating to divorce, including property division, custody, and how much alimony and/or child support should be paid. However, rather than being a private contract, a consent order is presented to a judge to review, approve, and sign.

This means the consent order is a matter of public record, but it also provides a stricter method of enforcement for a spouse who violates the terms. A spouse who violates a consent order may be held in contempt of court and potentially face fines, wage garnishment, property seizure, or even jail time. Further, a consent order can potentially be modified without mutual consent if one party files a motion for modification and the court approves it.

You do not need to choose one or the other. In fact, many separating couples choose to file a separation agreement to handle property matters and alimony between themselves, and a consent order for matters of custody and child support.

RELATED POST: Understand the Difference Between a Separation Agreement and a Consent Order – Myers Law Firm

What Happens if I Get Back Together With My Spouse After Signing a Separation Agreement (but Before Divorce)?

If a couple wishes to reconcile and moves back in together with the intention of resuming the marriage, the separation agreement will become null and void. This will affect future provisions (for example, a supporting spouse will no longer be required to pay alimony) but not those which have already occurred (such as no reimbursements for alimony previously paid).

Do note that, if the reconciliation is only temporary and the couple later separates again, they would need a new separation agreement—and the one-year waiting period for getting a divorce would reset to the new date of separation. Any calculations of equitable division of property or alimony payments would also be reset to this new date of separation.

What Happens to the Separation Agreement After a Divorce Is Finalized?

Two people sitting across from each other with a document between them and wedding rings on the table

This depends on how the agreement was set up, and whether it is incorporated into the divorce decree or not.

If the separation agreement becomes incorporated into the divorce, the provisions move under the court’s jurisdiction and can be enforced or modified by court order, like a consent order (as described above).

If the separation agreement is not incorporated into the divorce decree, it remains in force even after the divorce is finalized. This would mean that terms relating only to adults, such as alimony or property division, can still only be modified under normal circumstances by mutual consent.

Need Help With a North Carolina Separation Agreement? Talk With an Experienced Attorney

While separation agreements are usually a less costly and stressful way for couples to separate, they are still important legal contracts with serious implications—and potentially serious consequences if you later violate the terms or realize that the terms were unfair to begin with.

If you’re struggling with a recent separation in Charlotte or anywhere in Mecklenburg County, the attorneys at Myers Law Firm can help you sort through your options, protect your legal rights, and ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible under the circumstances.

Schedule your initial consultation by filling out our quick online contact form or calling our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889).

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Do North Carolina Courts Favor Mothers in Custody Cases?

One of the most common questions mothers and fathers ask at the beginning of a child custody case is, “I’ve heard courts favor mothers — is it true?”

The short answer is no. In North Carolina, the custody law is gender-neutral and doesn’t give automatic preference to men or women in child custody matters. However, it’s up to the judge in your specific case to interpret and apply custody laws when determining child custody, and he or she could do so in a way that favors more custody time for the mother.

The Law May Not Favor Mothers in Child Custody Disputes, but Tradition Does

An attorney consulting with a father

Many people believe that family law courts favor the mother because in decades past, that was the case. A few generations ago, the preference for a child’s mother to serve as the primary custodial parent was very strong and often written into state custody laws.

Over time, those older laws have been replaced by laws that don’t discriminate against either gender in custody matters. In the past several years alone, dozens of states have passed or considered laws that aim to encourage equal parenting time or even make equal time the default child custody arrangement.

Even though the bias toward mothers in custody battles is changing, the facts speak for themselves. Nationwide, fathers receive about 35% of custody time on average, according to a 2018 study from CustodyXChange. In North Carolina, where our firm is located, dads get 27.9% of custody time on average.

So, even though the tradition of courts favoring mothers is changing fast and has little basis in the custody laws on state books today, we can see based on the data that fathers in many states still face an uphill battle to get equal parenting time. We’ll explore possible reasons for this situation later in the article.

RELATED VIDEO: What Are Reasons Parents Get Full Child Custody?

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How Do North Carolina Courts Determine What’s in a Child Best Interest?

A mother caring for her children

Until the late 1970s, North Carolina family law courts preferred to give mothers primary legal and physical custody of their children. As late as 1973, a North Carolina Supreme Court decision upheld this practice.

In 1977, a big change happened: The North Carolina legislature updated the state’s custody laws to remove any explicit preference based on a parent’s gender. According to the 1977 law, family law judges must base custody decisions only on the best interests of the child, which they must determine using the actual evidence presented before them in court. The “best interest” legal standard continues today.

In 2015, the North Carolina state legislature passed a new statute that outlined the public policy of North Carolina, which can be found here. The title of the law was AN ACT TO PROMOTE THE ENCOURAGEMENT OF PARENTING TIME WITH CHILDREN BY BOTH PARENTS. This new law did not change the “best interests” standard.

So, what are the child’s “best interests”? It’s a very broad term. In fact, lawmakers made it that way so family law judges could have leeway to consider different factors and types of evidence during child custody cases.

When North Carolina family law courts try and decide what’s in the best interests of a child, here are some of their most common goals.

Maintain a healthy relationship with both parents

North Carolina courts prefer joint custody arrangements whenever possible, which means both parents get a say in important decisions in the child’s life and the child spends significant amounts of time with each parent.

Reduce stress for the child

Judges know that when parents divorce and get into a child custody battle, it can be extremely stressful for a child. So, judges don’t want the custody arrangement to add to that stress. When determining custody arrangements, courts often aim to preserve the status quo and disrupt the child’s life as little as possible.

Prioritize the child’s physical and emotional needs

Often, this means maintaining the child’s relationship with the parent they’re closest to. Sometimes, the court will favor the child’s primary caregiver or the parent with whom the child demonstrates the strongest emotional connection.

Keep siblings together

North Carolina family law courts generally make it a high priority it to maintain sibling relationships, especially between siblings who are close in age.

Prevent domestic violence and child abuse

Family law judges want to make sure children are safe and protected, so the presence of domestic violence or domestic abuse can have a major effect on the custody arrangement. Factors that are known to increase the risk of domestic violence, like substance abuse and addiction, might also factor into the judge’s decision.

Keep the child in or near their current home

If one parent wants to take primary legal and physical custody of the child and move them far away from where they currently live, the court might see this as disruptive and not in the child’s best interests.

Respect the child’s preferences

Family law courts in North Carolina don’t have any obligation to ask the child about their wishes, but they are allowed to if the child is of a suitable age and can understand the nature of the legal proceedings. The older the child, the more likely it is that their custody preference might play a role in the judge’s determination of their best interests.

Address marital infidelity and misconduct

This can be a tricky factor to weigh. Most judges know that a person cheating on their spouse or having an affair does not automatically make that person a bad parent. However, if a person engaged in marital infidelity or other misconduct and the judge believes this behavior harmed the child in some way, it might affect the judge’s custody decision.

Other factors

The weight given to all the factors listed varies from case to case and judge to judge, and other factors might play a role too. If you have questions about the elements and events that might affect the judge’s final custody decision in your specific child custody dispute, don’t wait to contact an experienced family law attorney who can help you understand your options.

RELATED ARTICLE: How Do Courts Decide What’s in a Child’s Best Interests?

Why Do Fathers Get Less Custody Time on Average?

A father reading to his child

After reviewing all the custody factors listed above, we can see that none of them specifically reference or include gender, and the law in North Carolina (and many other states) says family law courts can’t consider gender as a factor when determining child custody.

So, why does the study show that fathers still get significantly less custody time than mothers on average? There’s no one simple answer to this question, but there are some theories and possible reasons.

When parents are unmarried, the mother may get sole custody

The custody statistics might be somewhat skewed when you consider the fact that custody isn’t always determined because of a divorce. In North Carolina, almost 42 percent of children are born to unmarried parents. And in our state, unmarried parents have the same parental rights as married parents—but only if the father has established paternity. Until paternity is proven, the mother always gets sole custody of her child unless removed by the court.

The law has changed, but views may not have

Just because the law changes doesn’t mean people immediately change their minds about an issue. Many people still hold highly traditional views about marriage and parenting, and some judges on the bench today probably handled custody cases or practiced family law during the era when a preference for mothers in child custody cases was written into the law.

Women are still more likely to be the primary caregivers

The roles of men and women in parenting and home structures have changed a lot and become much more fluid in the past few decades. Working moms are common now, and so are stay-at-home dads. But the gap between men and women remains when it comes to caregiving and parenting time.

A 2018 Pew Research Center report concluded that between 1965 and 2011, fathers in America almost tripled the amount of time they spent parenting, from 2.5 hours per week to 7 hours per week. But over the same period, American mothers also increased their parenting time — from 10 hours per week to 14. And additional research from the Pew Research Center indicates that mothers are 78 percent more likely than fathers to not work and fill a stay-at-home parent role.

RELATED ARTICLE: 7 Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Child Custody Case

Facing a Custody Case in Charlotte, North Carolina? Myers Law Firm Is Here to Support and Guide You

If you have questions about your rights and options regarding child custody arrangements, the family attorneys at Myers Law Firm are always here to help. We have decades of experience helping parents settle custody agreements both in and outside of the courtroom, and we’ll advocate for you with passion and compassion every step of the way.

To talk with one of our family law attorneys today, call 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out our quick online contact form.

References

How much custody time does dad get in your state? (2018, June 5). CustodyXChange. https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/dads-custody-time-2018.php

Livingston, G. (2018, September 24). Stay-at-home moms and dads account for about one-in-five U.S. parents. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/09/24/stay-at-home-moms-and-dads-account-for-about-one-in-five-u-s-parents/

Livingston, G., and Parker, K. (2019, June 12). 8 facts about American dads. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/

Percent of Babies Born to Unmarried Mothers by State. (n.d.). U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/unmarried/unmarried.htm

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Can I Pay or Receive a Lump Sum Alimony in North Carolina?

Alimony payments are a frequent source of stress, frustration, and friction for many separated couples. While monthly payments are supposed to provide a stable source of income for the dependent spouse, they also often breed resentment—and if the supporting spouse gets behind on payments, you may need to get the court involved.

But while monthly alimony payments are by far the most common arrangement, they aren’t the only spousal support option for separated couples in North Carolina. In some cases, a lump sum payment might be a better alternative for both spouses.

To be clear, lump sum alimony is very rarely awarded by a judge, and it may not even be realistically possible for you. Such an arrangement usually requires a specific combination of circumstances to achieve. It is more likely to occur as part of a settlement agreement between the spouses. However, if these circumstances do apply to your situation, a lump sum alimony payment may be worth considering.

What Is a Lump Sum Alimony Payment?

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In most spousal support arrangements, the court sets a monthly amount that the paying spouse must pay their ex-spouse.  In North Carolina, this is known as either rehabilitative alimony (if the payments are set to expire after a fixed term) or permanent periodic alimony (if monthly installments are set to continue until either spouse dies or the receiving spouse remarries).

In a lump sum alimony arrangement—sometimes known as an alimony buyout—the supporting spouse’s entire alimony obligation is set at a total fixed amount to be paid, rather than a regularly recurring monthly payment.

In many cases, the entire obligation is paid out in one lump sum payment. However, lump sum alimony can also be paid in multiple installments, according to the timeline established in the agreement or court order. The key difference is that the total amount of the lump sum amount is fixed and cannot easily be changed or terminated, even if the spouse receiving alimony remarries or the spouse paying alimony dies.

Additionally, some or all the lump sum alimony obligation could be met by transferring real property owned by the paying spouse to the receiving spouse, in lieu of cash payments.

RELATED: How Long Do You Have to Pay Alimony in North Carolina?

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What Are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Lump Sum Alimony for the Dependent Spouse?

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From the perspective of the spouse receiving spousal support, a lump sum payout is often the ideal option (in the rare circumstances in which it is realistically available). This is true for many reasons, including:

  • Time value of money. A dollar you receive today is almost always more valuable than a dollar you might receive in the future. That’s not only because of inflation, but also because money you have now can be invested (or used to pay off debts) and used to gain additional earnings or reduce interest payments on a loan.
  • Cannot be changed. A lump sum payout is fixed regardless of whether you get remarried, get a higher paying job, or if your ex-spouse unexpectedly dies or falls on hard times while you would still otherwise be receiving monthly payments.
  • Certainty, simplicity, and closure. With monthly alimony installments, there’s always a risk that the payments will be late (or your ex-spouse will simply stop paying), or that your ex-spouse will request to change the monthly amount. This could lead to money troubles, time-consuming court actions, and more. But with a single or a few lump sum payments, both parties can quickly end any formal relationship and move on.

Keep in mind, though, that there are some potential dangers and downsides to lump sum alimony. Receiving a large, one-time payment might disqualify you from certain government assistance programs you might otherwise be eligible for.

You also need to be honest with yourself about whether you have the financial skills and discipline to handle a large transfer of cash or property responsibly. Alimony payments—whether periodic or lump sum—are meant in part to enable the economically disadvantaged spouse to maintain their marital standard of living. You don’t want to spend lavishly and quickly burn through a one-time spousal support payment.

If you feel that you would be tempted to overspend your lump sum alimony payout, a monthly alimony payment may be the safer and wiser choice.

What Are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Lump Sum Alimony for the Supporting Spouse?

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From the perspective of the person paying alimony, the benefits of a lump sum buyout are perhaps less attractive. A lot depends, however, on the supporting spouse’s financial means, as well as what they personally value.

Many of the same reasons that lump sum alimony is advantageous for the receiving spouse are obvious downsides for the paying spouse. If you pay it all up front rather than gradually over time, you pay the higher “present value” for that money and can’t invest it. You also can’t get your lump sum “refunded” if your former spouse remarries, gets a high paying job, or their circumstances change in other ways that would likely lower or even eliminate a monthly alimony payment. So, in the end, it’s very likely that a lump sum payment will cost you more.

There’s also the obvious fact that paying the equivalent of multiple years of alimony in just one or a few payments is extremely expensive and only an option for very wealthy individuals.

The main advantage, however, is simply being able to quickly and permanently sever ties with your former spouse and not have to worry about regular communication, monthly payments, or the risk of having to go back to court or be ordered to make higher alimony payments in the future. Additionally, a lump sum payment can be used as part of negotiations to make a lower lump sum payment when compared to the total amount that might be paid out over a multi-year term of alimony.

Separation is stressful, even in the best of circumstances, and divorces that start amicably often get messy when hashing out the divorce settlement agreement. For many people, the chance to make a clean break and move on with no lasting obligations is worth the likely extra cost.

RELATED: Who Gets Alimony in North Carolina and Why?

Is Lump Sum Alimony Even an Option for Me?

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Lump sum alimony is rare for many reasons. It’s not going to be an option in most situations.

The most straightforward way to get alimony as a lump sum is for both spouses to come to an agreement and memorialize the terms in a separation agreement. But this is much easier said than done. Even if the supporting spouse has the financial means to pay alimony in a lump sum, they may have no interest in doing so, or can’t agree on the amount.

A court might also order the supporting spouse to pay spousal support as lump sum if they have the means to do so, especially if the court feels that the spouse is likely to defy court orders or be unwilling (or even unable) to pay monthly installments in a timely fashion.

You can see why, for most separating couples, rehabilitative or permanent periodic alimony arrangements are often the only realistic solution. But if you feel lump sum alimony makes sense for your specific circumstances, it is worth discussing the matter further with a family law attorney, as well as a financial planner.

Myers Law Firm: Client-Focused Alimony Attorneys in Charlotte, NC

Alimony calculations are often extremely complex. Every separation is different, and under North Carolina law there are 16 separate factors that a judge must evaluate when determining the amount and duration of the payments.

If you have any questions about your alimony claim, or you believe that the current court order is unfair and should be changed, don’t wait any longer to speak to an experienced alimony attorney.

We understand how difficult and confusing the spousal support process can be, whether you’re the one making payments or the one receiving them. We are here to help you understand your options, be your strong ally and advocate as you navigate this challenging season of life, and help you arrive at a result that’s truly fair for all involved.

To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out and submit our online contact form. We will follow up and get in touch with you as soon as possible.

References

N.C. General Statutes § 50-16.7 (2015)

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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How Is Property Acquired After a Separation—but Before Division—Divided?

Marriage is the most complex relationship humans can enter. While it might be nice to think love is all that really matters, there are many factors at play when two lives intertwine. And when the time comes that a married couple decides to separate—and, eventually divorce—untangling all the various elements can be a challenge.

One area where that is especially true is for the marital estate, and determination of which property now goes to which spouse—including property acquired after separation but before the property is divided. Sometimes this period of time can cover many months or years.

In North Carolina, the determination of what constitutes marital property to be divided is based on the date of separation. However, a long period of time can pass between the date of separation and the date when the spouses agree to divide the property or a judge hears the case. The date when the property is actually distributed is called the date of distribution.

Between the date of separation and the date of distribution, property may change value, be sold, or be acquired. This property is called divisible property, and determining what happens with this property can be complicated.

Let’s review what happens to property acquired in that period between the date of separation and the date of distribution, starting with a quick overview of property division in North Carolina.

RELATED: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During a Divorce

How Does Property Division Work in North Carolina?

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As discussed in our Is Everything Split 50/50 in a Divorce in North Carolina? blog post, North Carolina is an equitable distribution state. While a community property state splits all marital assets and debts evenly, an equitable division state like ours divides marital property “equitably”, which may or may not be equal, as determined “in the eyes of the court.”

While it would seem as though equal (a 50/50 split) and equitable are the same thing, the key distinction is that equal is exactly even and equitable implies a sense of fairness in the division. Along with that, “in the eyes of the court” is an important caveat.

For example, consider a situation in which one spouse has a disability that requires costly treatment and prevents them from working. In an equitable distribution state, the judge could take this into consideration when dividing the marital property and may grant them extra resources due to greater need. But if the same divorce were to happen in a community property state, the value of all marital assets would be totaled, and each spouse would receive exactly as much as the other spouse.

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What Is Considered Marital Property?

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Things of value like the marital home, bank accounts, retirement accounts, and stock options that were acquired during the marriage can be considered marital property. Other valuable assets can fail into this category—as long as they were obtained prior to the date of separation—even though they are held in the name of one spouse only.

That means when “his” platinum necklace or “her” new boat are bought prior to separation, they are technically part of the marital estate (for distribution purposes). The appropriate valuation will be assessed, and the judge will factor it into their considerations when determining a final distribution.

RELATED: What Does Marital Property Mean in Property Division Cases?

What Is Considered Separate Property?

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The general rule here is that property acquired in the following ways would potentially be considered one spouse’s separate property, rather than marital property, and not divided in the divorce.

  • Property already owned by one spouse before the marriage began
  • Property acquired by one spouse after legal separation
  • Gifts or inheritance explicitly designated to one spouse only, even if it occurred during the marriage.

However, there are some important caveats.

One is that North Carolina law presumes that all property owned by either spouse on the date of separation is marital property. So, if you believe a certain asset should be considered separate property instead, you will need to prove it to the court.

Another is that there are many circumstances in which separate property can become marital property.

A court may also consider what funds were used to purchase the property. To go back to the necklace- and boat-owning couple:

  • If he bought the necklace with money that was marital property, the necklace would be marital property even if purchased after the date of separation. Cash accumulated during a marriage counts as marital assets, no matter when (or by whom) it is spent.
  • If she bought the boat with money she earned after the start of the separation, then she will likely be able to keep the boat without having it count against her share of the final distribution.

While that might seem fairly straightforward, we also need to address a few key definitions and requirements involved in the North Carolina divorce process.

Divorce and Legal Separation in North Carolina

The North Carolina divorce law has a specific definition of legal separation that must be met for an “absolute divorce” to be granted—and this plays a role in property distribution.

To meet the legal requirements for the official, one-year separation, the following factors must hold true:

1) Spouses must be living in separate homes.

2) At least one spouse intends the separation to be permanent.

These requirements for an “absolute divorce” to ultimately be granted in our state can also affect what kind of assets are considered which kind of property.

RELATED: What’s the Difference Between Separation and Divorce in North Carolina?

How Separation Status Can Affect Property Distribution

If a couple doesn’t meet the above circumstances, they will not be considered separated and any property they acquire will typically be considered marital property.

It should be noted that North Carolina does not require any paperwork or legal documentation of a separation. Once a spouse moves out of the marital residence (with the intention of doing so permanently), the couple is considered separated. However, it is important to keep your own records in case the date of separation is later challenged.

Of course, you and your spouse could also choose to draft and sign an official separation and property settlement agreement (commonly known as a separation agreement), which will formalize the date of separation and can even settle property distribution, child custody, child support, spousal support, and other disputes that would otherwise fall to a court to decide. But this is completely optional.

Property Acquisitions During Brief Reconciliation Periods Between Separations

The fact that couples can (and do) separate, decide to “give it another chance,” and then separate again provides ample opportunity to create complicated situations when one or both spouses acquire property. In this instance, anything that one or the other spouse decides to acquire during the initial, less-than-one-year separation should considered marital property, even though the couple wasn’t together (and even intending to divorce) at the time of purchase.

The spouse who bought the asset during the “trial” separation, though, might be inclined to think it should be designated as separate property. Since the couple was retroactively considered to be not legally separated at the time, however, this argument may not stand up in court.

What Is Divisible Property?

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North Carolina recognizes a third category beyond marital and separate property: divisible property. Divisible property is the term given to property that is acquired or changes in value between the date of separation and the date the property is actually divided. This category of property can be distributed between the spouses, just like marital property.

Determining what constitutes divisible property can be complicated. Divisible property accounts for assets that change value between the separation and date of distribution. These changes could be appreciation or diminution in value. It also includes any property received after the date of separation that was earned during the marriage.

Examples of divisible property include bonuses and sales commission that were earned during the marriage but not received by a spouse until after the date of separation. Also, the passive appreciation of an asset, such as a house, is divisible property.

Determining what is passive versus active appreciation or diminution is often complicated. For example, if one spouse lives in the former marital house, does not make any improvements, and the house increases in value, the increase will be passive and is therefore divisible property. If the spouse makes improvements to the house, though, a determination needs to be made about what was passive versus active appreciation. Another example could be stocks. If the stocks were owned on the date of separation and increase in value due to the market, the increase is passive and therefore divisible property. If one spouse is actively trading the stocks, the increase could be active and not divisible.

Myers Law Firm Provides the Help You Need in Divorce Law

Myers Law Firm is experienced in helping clients navigate the challenging aspects of divorce law. Our attorneys always listen to you and use our experience in the North Carolina legal system to fight for your fair share of marital assets. If you’d like, you can learn about our divorce lawyers on this page.

If you are interested in scheduling a consultation with our firm, please either fill out the brief form below or call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889).

References

Howell, C. (2017, September 8). Equitable Distribution: The Marital Property Presumption. On the Civil Side: A UNC School of Government Blog. Retrieved from https://civil.sog.unc.edu/equitable-distribution-the-marital-property-presumption/

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Is Everything Split 50/50 in a Divorce in North Carolina?

Even when a divorce is relatively amicable, property division can still be contentious. There are complex rules governing what counts as marital property, what counts as separate property, and how it all gets divided. While the division of property is supposed to be “equitable,” you and your spouse may disagree on what is equitable or fair.

On top of that, the rules can be drastically different depending on where you live. Each state has its own rules about how marital assets should be divided. While some states strictly split assets 50/50 in all cases, others (including North Carolina) do not.

In this blog post, we’ll briefly discuss the two main systems of property division used in the United States—and discuss what is used in North Carolina.

Community Property States vs. Equitable Division States

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Although each state has its own specific set of rules about dividing property, they generally fall into one of two broad categories:

Nine states, located primarily in the western and southwestern United States, observe community property laws. In a community property state, all marital assets and debts are split 50/50 in the divorce. This group of states includes California, Texas, Washington, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Louisiana, and Wisconsin.

The remaining states, including North Carolina, follow the law of equitable division, also known as equitable distribution. In an equitable distribution state, marital assets are to be divided “equitably” or fairly. What is equitable or fair is generally in the discretion of the judge.

One state, Alaska, generally follows equitable distribution but also allows couples to “opt in” to a community property arrangement before or during the marriage (but not once the divorce process has begun).

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Separate Property vs. Marital Property

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Before we go further, it’s important to clarify what we mean by “everything” when we ask if everything is split 50/50 after a divorce. “Everything” in this case refers to marital property.

But what exactly is “marital property”? In general, marital property refers to any assets acquired during the course of your marriage—income, property, debts, investment accounts, pension and retirement benefits, etc. It does not matter whose name the asset is in, and they are not required to be in joint names. These are the assets that are to be divided during the divorce process—50/50 in community property states, or “fairly” in equitable distribution states.

By contrast, separate property refers to assets that one spouse owned before the marriage, or gifts or inheritances given specifically to one spouse and not the other during the marriage. These do not get divided.

RELATED: What Does Marital Property Mean in Property Division Cases?

However, in practice the line isn’t always quite so clear. For example, in North Carolina, all assets owned by a party on the date of separation are considered marital property by default (the “presumption” of marital property). If one spouse contends that certain assets should be considered separate property, that spouse must have evidence to overcome the presumption. Furthermore, assets that begin as separate property can become joint property if they are mixed with marital assets during the marriage.

This aspect of the law is extremely complicated, so it’s always wise to consult with an experienced property division attorney. If you’d like more information on how separate assets can become marital property, we cover this in much greater detail in a recent blog post.

RELATED: How Does Separate Property Become Marital Property?

Equal and Equitable Are Not (Necessarily) the Same Thing

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In the context of property division, “equal” and “equitable” have very different meanings. Equal simply means both sides get the same amount. Equitable means that the division is fair for both sides.

Of course, sometimes a 50/50 split really is the fairest approach, and that’s exactly what a judge will decide. In fact, North Carolina state law instructs that marital property and divisible property should be divided equally according to their net value, “unless the court determines that an equal division is not equitable.”

But as you can imagine, there are many relevant factors that could shift the balance from strict 50/50 when it comes time to divide property equitably. Here are a few examples of what a court might consider:

  • Duration of the marriage. Couples that have been married a long time, naturally, tend to accumulate a lot of joint property, and division typically becomes more complicated. By contrast, relatively short marriages typically have much less property acquired during the marriage.
  • Child custody. If one spouse will be the primary caregiver for the couple’s children, they might receive the family home and a proportionally greater share of the assets to provide for their care.
  • Future financial needs and earning potential. For example, say that one spouse is a high wage earner, while the other is unable to work due to chronic health issues or disability. A court may divide the property in favor of the spouse with fewer resources and greater needs.
  • Contribution to career advancement. Say one spouse paid to help the other get an advanced degree—or, alternatively, quit working and stayed home to allow their spouse more time to devote to their own professional opportunities. These scenarios might lead to a more unequal distribution being considered “fair.”
  • Tax considerations. If a certain division of property would pose unequal tax burdens on the parties, they may also be given a greater share of assets as compensation.

These are not the only examples. North Carolina law allows for a judge to consider several factors that the court shall take into consideration if one party requests an unequal division, but also allows for “any other factor which the court finds to be just and proper” to be considered as well. This gives the judge a wide degree of subjective authority when it comes distributing assets “equitably.”

How a Divorce Attorney Can Help

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If this all seems complicated, that’s because it is. Every marriage is unique, and determining what’s “fair” is much more difficult than simply figuring out what’s “equal.”

Because what is equitable can be subjective, and there are often few easy answers, it’s normal for divorcing couples to strongly disagree about how to divide their assets—even when both sides act in good faith and aren’t actively trying to take advantage of one another. When spouses can’t agree between themselves, the matter must be resolved in court.

A divorce attorney can be a huge benefit as you and your spouse go separate ways—even if your divorce is (or at least begins as) an amicable one. An experienced lawyer will know the law, know the local courts, know how to distinguish between marital and separate property (and obtain the evidence needed to document and prove that certain assets should be considered separate), and how to accurately calculate the value the property to be divided.

Further, divorce is almost always stressful and painful even when both parties agree it’s for the best. Having an attorney handle this delicate, complicated legal work often means a faster resolution and less drama between separating spouses. You can focus on building your future life and, ideally, maintain a better relationship with your ex-spouse (especially if children are involved) while your attorney handles the legal work.

And the unfortunate reality is arguments over how the property will be divided can, and often do, lead to bitterness even in divorces that start out amicably. If your ex-spouse starts acting in bad faith or trying to get more than their fair share, a divorce attorney can help you protect your legal rights and work toward the quick, fair resolution that’s ultimately in the best interests of everyone concerned.

Myers Law Firm: Honest, Ethical, and Effective Representation

If you’re looking for an honest, compassionate, and dedicated legal team to help you resolve your property division issues after a divorce in Charlotte or Mecklenburg County, contact Myers Law Firm today for a free consultation.

Our attorneys have extensive experience handling every aspect of the property distribution process, as well as all family law matters related to divorce, separation, child custody, and child and spousal support. We are here to help you understand your options and protect your rights during stressful circumstances like this. 

To request your free consultation with Myers Law Firm, simply call 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or complete our online contact form.

References

N.C.G.S. § 50-20

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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How Does Separate Property Become Marital Property?

During a divorce or separation, emotions run high. Even an amicable split is stressful and difficult. And one of the biggest headaches in these kinds of circumstances can be caused by the division of assets, especially when it seems particularly unfair to one side.

Understanding what separate property is, and how one spouse’s separate property can become marital property, will help prepare you for the legal process of property division.

North Carolina is not a “community property” state. Instead, our state follows the “equitable distribution” method of dividing property when spouses are separating. This means that property is divided fairly in the eyes of the court, and that does not necessarily mean each side receives an equal share of the property. “Equitable” does not have to mean “equal.”

If you want to protect your separate property during a divorce, an experienced family lawyer like Myers Law Firm can guide you through the process and help you find the documentation to prove that your assets should not be included in the division of marital property.

What Is Marital Property and What Is Separate Property?

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In the event of a divorce, there are different classifications for property and assets. These classifications determine whether the property goes to one spouse, or whether each spouse has a claim to the value of the property.

Marital Property

Marital property is anything that was acquired from the date of marriage to the date of separation, with exceptions for separate property like gifts and inheritances clearly belonging to one spouse.

Marital property typically includes any wages, assets like houses or cars, real estate, investment accounts, retirements accounts, bank accounts, and debts. Even if an account only has one spouse’s name on it, it is still marital property if it was acquired during the marriage.

Separate Property

Separate property includes property that was acquired before marriage, or any property acquired during the marriage that was a gift or inheritance for one spouse.

Divisible Property

There is a third classification in North Carolina, which is called divisible property. This is property that was acquired before the date of separation, but was received after separation, or marital property for which the value has changed since separation.

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The Presumption of Marital Property

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One very important factor in all of this is the “presumption” that applies to the definitions of marital versus separate property.

Under North Carolina law, all property that was owned by either spouse on the date of separation is presumed to be marital property. What this means is that the spouse who is claiming that a certain piece of property is separate property must present sufficient evidence to overcome the presumption and prove that the property qualifies under the definition of separate property. If sufficient evidence is presented, then the property should be declared to be separate property.

Why Property Classification Matters

Reviewing various accounts in property division

The classification of property is incredibly important because a judge can decide how marital property gets divided up between the spouses. Separate property only belongs to one spouse, and therefore cannot be awarded to the other spouse. However, separate property can become marital property in certain scenarios.

When separate property gets mixed with marital property, these “comingled” assets can become marital property or be considered “mixed” property that is partly separate and partly marital.

RELATED: Equitable Distribution — What Does “Marital Property” Mean in Property Division Cases?

Real Estate: Separate or Marital Property?

One of the most complicated comingling of assets is the marital house. If one spouse owned the house before marriage, it is a separate asset. However, if the other spouse moves in, what happens then?

If the other spouse is added to the deed, then North Carolina law says that the house becomes marital property. This is usually pretty straightforward.

If the value of a house that is separate property goes up due to the real estate market only, for example, that appreciation is considered separate property.

However, if money that is earned during the marriage is used for upkeep, the mortgage, or renovations, the non-owner spouse will gain a marital interest in the property. In some cases, they only have a claim to the appreciation in value, such as if they contributed to renovations that made the house more valuable. This calculation can be very contentious and requires good recordkeeping.

RELATED: Who Gets the House in a Divorce in North Carolina?

How About Other Assets, Accounts, and Debt?

Getting help to figure out marital property and separate property

While real estate and houses are major considerations in property division, there are a variety of other ones as well. Various accounts, investments, and even debt are all reviewed in cases of legal separation and divorce:

Appreciating Assets (Investments)

Separate property assets that appreciate passively, like investment accounts, real estate, and collectibles, remain as separate property. However, if someone were to use marital assets to fund an investment account, that action can then turn the asset into mixed separate and marital property.

Similarly, if a retirement account acquired before marriage continues to receive contributions after the date of marriage, this converts the account into mixed separate and marital property. With extremely good recordkeeping or forensic accounting, it may be possible to determine which portion of the account is separate property and which portion is marital property, but this can be very difficult and time-consuming.

Depreciating Assets

For depreciating assets like automobiles, boats, RVs, furniture, etc., the same rules apply. If they were acquired before marriage, or after marriage with separate funds, they are separate assets. If they were acquired after marriage using marital funds, they are marital property that will be divided between the spouses. The fair market value of the assets plays a part in the equitable distribution of such property.

As an example, if a boat is acquired during marriage but paid for with money that is separate property, then the boat is also separate property. However, if the other spouse makes any contribution to payments or upkeep, it could change the classification to mixed property.

Debt

Debt can be very contentious to settle. Debt acquired before marriage is separate property. As a general rule, if the debt was taken on during the marriage and was for the benefit of the marriage, both spouses are typically responsible for the debt.

Student loan debt taken on during the marriage can sometimes be treated as separate debt, but if the other spouse benefitted from the education, or if the loan money was used to benefit the marriage (such as payment for groceries or rent), then the debt is marital property.

Unfortunately, if your spouse had hidden credit cards from you during your marriage, you may need to prove that you did not benefit from the things your spouse purchased in order to treat that debt as separate property.

Bank Accounts

Bank accounts that start out as separate property must be treated carefully so as not to become marital property. If you deposit marital property into a bank account, such as a paycheck, that can count as comingling assets. If you use money from a separate bank account to make payments on a marital loan or mortgage, that is considered a gift to the marriage.

When you have a joint bank account, there is typically less question as to whether it is considered marital property or not. In this instance, the joint account belongs collectively to the married couple and falls in the category of marital property.

Gifts and Inheritance

Gifts and inheritance bequeathed to a single spouse, whether before or during the marriage, are typically treated as separate property. If the other spouse contributes towards the asset and increases its value, it can become mixed separate and marital property.

Myers Law Firm Will Help You Figure Out Marital Property Versus Separate Property in a Divorce

If you believe you have separate property during the dissolution of your marriage, it can be challenging to find the documentation necessary to prove your sole ownership. The help of a divorce attorney like Myers Law Firm can be invaluable. We can assist you in understanding your rights and options during stressful circumstances like this.

Schedule your consultation with Myers Law Firm by calling 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or using our online contact form. Our knowledge of the local court system in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County will help us answer your questions about how your property may be classified during your divorce.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Who Gets the House in a Divorce in North Carolina?

Deciding to separate and proceed with a divorce isn’t easy, but it’s only the first step in a sometimes-long process. When the emotional weight of splitting up with your spouse is still heavy in the air, maybe the last thing you want to do is think about what will happen to your family home.

An experienced divorce attorney can help you understand what options you have in moving forward. You’ll have to think hard about keeping the house, selling it, or contesting your spouse’s plans. It’s usually not an easy decision, but it can be even more difficult when there’s an emotional attachment to where you live.

There’s more than one possible answer, and the best one for you could require a greater understanding about the process.

Who Decides Who Gets the House in a Divorce?

Couples have the option of reaching an agreement when it comes to dividing assets. While this is the simplest and least costly option, sometimes the case has to proceed to court for a judge to make the final decision. At the conclusion of a trial, the judge will have to decide what they think is an equitable division of the property.

The judge will have to look carefully at all assets the couple owns before making any decisions on dividing property.

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What Does Property Division Look Like in Divorce?

Who Gets the House in a Divorce in North Carolina

The court has a lot of discretion when it comes to dividing assets. The process starts with the court categorizing assets into three categories:

  • Marital property
  • Separate property
  • Divisible property

Marital Property

Marital property is all the real and personal property acquired from the date of the marriage up to the date of the separation. Houses and mortgages often fall into the marital property classification if the couple purchased the home after getting married, even if the property is only listed in one person’s name.

Divisible Property

Divisible property is the change in value of marital property from the date of separation until the date of distribution of the property. House valuations, ongoing upkeep, and tenant payments could all affect this amount.

Separate Property

Separate property is real or personal property that a spouse owned before the marriage or that came to them as an inheritance or gift in their name alone during the marriage. If one party’s parents gave the couple the house as a gift, it likely doesn’t count as separate property.

Sometimes, a house can be converted from separate property to marital property during a marriage. If a couple modifies a deed to include both names, it could convert the property to marital property. If the non-named spouse helped with finances or upkeep of the house during the marriage, the spouse acquires a marital interest in the property.

Marital and divisible property can both be divided by the court, while separate property is just that – separate. If the house is considered separate property, it will remain with the appropriate owner. If the house counts as marital or divisible property, the court will handle the division with equitable distribution.

RELATED: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During a Divorce

North Carolina and Equitable Distribution

The division of property after separation in North Carolina follows equitable distribution. This term means that the law presumes that an equal division is equitable. However, there are grounds for a judge to make an unequal division and the division still be equitable. A judge will decide whether to allow for an unequal division by looking at several factors, including:

  • Incomes, debts, and separate property
  • Contributions to the household beyond finances
  • Help during the other spouse’s education and professional development

When it comes time to consider how the house will be divided, a judge could also take custody matters into consideration. The parent that receives primary physical custody could get to stay in the marital home to keep the children secure. This decision still leaves the question of covering the mortgage, paying property taxes, and compensating the other spouse for such a large asset.

Fault Affecting the House

Fault can affect alimony and spousal support if a spouse cheated or had an affair, but North Carolina doesn’t consider fault when considering equitable distribution. This means that the offending spouse can still get their fair share of the property, including the house.

Do You Have to Sell the House?

Who Gets the House in a Divorce in North Carolina

Selling the house and splitting the proceeds might be the simplest option, but it’s not the only one. There are ways to keep the house in the family, but it’s important to remember that some choices can come with complications, ranging from emotional effects to tax implications.

  • Balancing assets: One spouse can choose to keep the house while trading an equal value of other assets in exchange. When paying outright isn’t possible, a spouse can offer other assets with a high enough value to balance the scales.
  • Payments over time: If one spouse keeps the house but does not have enough other assets to make the division of property equal, that spouse can pay the other over time. These payments are called a distributive award.

Figuring out how these plans play out might only be the beginning of a complex solution. Property disagreements, a spouse passing, and bankruptcy could all have major impacts on what happens to a house.

How Can a Homeowner Find the Right Divorce Lawyer?

Who Gets the House in a Divorce in North Carolina

Experienced help can be vital for a spouse considering divorce, especially when an asset as big as a house is included in the discussion. Often the largest asset a person will own, the outcome of division can have a lasting impact on a person’s life.

But before you hire a divorce lawyer to help you with your case, it’s important to think about a few details:

  • Do my final expectations align with my attorney’s?
  • Do I agree with my attorney’s approach?
  • Does my attorney have experience in this area?

Answering these questions starts with research, but it’s important to get to know the law firm you’re working with before you sign a contract.

Why Might Myers Law Firm Be the Right Choice for Homeowners in Divorce?

Planning for the future of a house can be an enormous task to do alone, especially with the included challenge of the divorce process. Myers Law Firm has over 60 years of combined experience helping clients approach divorce and property division, and is ready to work with you to get your fair and equitable share.

Reach out by calling 1-888-376–2889 or complete our brief online contact form to schedule a free consultation. We’ll discuss your case and your options, so you can create a plan for handling your house through a divorce.

References

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-6

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-20

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-21

R., Branan. Land Title: Understanding Rights in Real and Personal Property. NC State Extension. Retrieved from URL https://farmlaw.ces.ncsu.edu/land-use-and-zoning/land-ownership-and-liability/land-title-understanding-rights-in-real-and-personal-property/

Separation and Divorce. North Carolina Judicial Branch. Retrieved from https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce/separation-and-divorce

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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What’s the Process Behind Serving Divorce Papers?

serving divorce papers

Deciding on divorce is a hard road for many, but it’s only the start of the process. It’s important to understand what divorce papers are and the many requirements surrounding them to successfully begin divorce proceedings.

Hitting deadlines, meeting requirements, and obeying the law can be difficult, especially in emotionally trying times, so it can be helpful to get legal advice from a divorce attorney before serving divorce papers.

What Has to Happen Before a Spouse Can Serve Papers?

serving divorce papers

Any legally married spouse can begin the divorce process in North Carolina. The state they were married in doesn’t matter, but there are two requirements they’ll have to meet:

  • One spouse must be a legal resident that’s lived in the state for at least six months.
  • The spouses must have lived apart for one year.

There’s no paperwork to begin the separation, but the spouses must live separate and apart for an uninterrupted one-year period, with one spouse intending to end the marriage in that time. If you and your spouse are eligible, the next stage is completing the required court forms and filing them with the court clerk’s office.

RELATED: 6 Things You Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina

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What Service Forms Make Up Divorce Papers?

serving divorce papers

The spouse who files the initial divorce papers (the plaintiff) will have to collect and complete several important court papers and file them with the Clerk of Court before they’re ready to go to the other spouse (the defendant).

The complaint for absolute divorce

This is the request for the judge to grant an absolute divorce, which is the complete dissolution of marriage between spouses. The divorce complaint is paperwork that includes the allegations necessary to show the court that the plaintiff is entitled to the divorce, such as:

  • An allegation that one of the parties has resided in North Carolina for six months
  • The date of marriage
  • The date of separation
  • A statement that the spouses have lived separate and apart for over a year
  • Information about any children of the parties under 18

A notary will need to be present when you sign off on the complaint.

The domestic civil action cover sheet

Next, this document helps the court direct the case properly. It’s required for the court clerk to begin a civil proceeding—in this case, the divorce. This form contains administrative information for the Clerk’s office. A notary does not need to witness this signature.

The civil summons

The summons is the form that tells the defendant that their spouse has filed a lawsuit against them and that they have 30 days to respond. It will include the plaintiff’s name as well as the defendant’s name and address. This information will help down the line in case a sheriff has been tasked with delivering the summons.

Servicemembers Civil Relief Affidavit

This is another form that the plaintiff signs in front of a notary. This document provides information stating that the defendant is not a member of the military. This is required because federal law does not allow proceedings against deployed military members.

Additional court documents could be necessary if the petitioner can’t afford the fees or the defendant is a member of the military. Once the court has these papers, the court clerk will file the documents and issue a summons to accompany a copy of the complaint. These are the divorce papers that are served to the defendant.

How Does a Spouse Serve Divorce Papers?

how to serve divorce papers

The first thing to remember is the petitioner can’t personally serve the papers themselves. They must go through an acceptable method of delivery and receive proof of service for the court to consider it formal notice:

  • Sheriff: For a fee, the sheriff can deliver the papers to the address listed on the summons or at the defendant’s place of employment. Upon delivery, the sheriff will make a note on the summons and return it to the clerk.
  • Professional process server: A process server’s job is to deliver notice of legal action. While a sheriff can only serve papers in the county of their appointment, a petitioner can use a process server for personal service across North Carolina and out of state.
  • Voluntary acceptance: If the defendant isn’t going to contest the action, they can accept service. In this case, the divorce papers will also include an acceptance of service form that they can sign in front of a notary. The document then has to be returned to the clerk of the court for filing.
  • Certified mail: The petitioner can also choose to send the spouse notice by certified mail, as long as there’s a return receipt requested for proof of service. The authorized delivery service will have the defendant sign for the documents, confirming delivery. The proof of delivery will have to make its way back to the courts by way of the petitioner.
  • Publication: When the petitioner has exhausted all reasonable methods, service by publication is the remaining option. The spouse will have to print a notice once a week for three straight weeks in a newspaper that’s been in circulation for at least six months and is published continually at least every week. After the three scheduled printings, the newspaper will provide an Affidavit of Publication that goes to the clerk’s office.

What Happens After There’s Proof of Service?

how to serve divorce papers

Once the petitioner has successfully served the divorce papers, the defendant has 30 days from when they were served to answer, submit counterclaims, or ask for an extension. Once the defendant answers or the 30 days are up, the plaintiff can file a Motion for Summary Judgment. A hearing will be scheduled and the Judgment of Divorce signed by the judge if all the required parameters of a divorce are met. The Judgment of Divorce is the final step.

What Is the Effect of The Divorce?

The Judgment of Divorce terminates the marital relationship and all the legal rights as a spouse. It is very important to note that if a Judgment of Divorce is granted and there are not claims for equitable distribution or alimony pending at the time of the Judgment, those rights are lost forever. This means that a person who wants to seek a property division or needs alimony must file the claim before the divorce is final. If the parties have signed a Separation Agreement or entered into a Consent Order on either of these issues, that agreement should not be affected. The Judgment of Divorce does not affect child custody or child support.

Contact Myers Law Firm if You Need Help

We understand that divorce isn’t easy, and it can be made even harder when there’s a flurry of rules to follow before the process can even begin. We’re here to help those in need understand and navigate the process, whether they’re drafting divorce papers or on the receiving end.

Myers Law Firm has more than 60 years of combined experience working with clients to manage the divorce process from the very beginning. If you need help with divorce papers or any other aspect of family law matters, call us at (888) 376-2889 or fill out our online form today.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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How Do You Divide a 401(k) in a Divorce?

can I cash out my 401k before divorce

Retirement accounts are there to provide for you after your ties to work and your career have ended or are drastically altered. They give you the freedom to look beyond the paycheck and embrace life outside of work.

While divorce can lead to a happier time in your life as well, it can also have an impact on the nest egg you’ve been nurturing for so long. Marriages can mean shared assets, even when they’re tied more closely to one spouse. When one partner spends their life in a career that provides healthy retirement benefits, both partners can still have plans for it.

This is why legal advice can prove vital. It’s often important to consult a divorce lawyer experienced in asset division in such an impactful process as dividing a 401(k) in divorce.

How Does State Law See Marital Assets?

how do retirement accounts get divided in divorce

North Carolina uses equitable distribution to divide property, which means the retirement assets aren’t split down the middle. Instead, the court will look for a fair divide between you and your spouse, depending on some key factors:

  • The length of the marriage
  • Contributions to one another and the household
  • Individual incomes and property
  • Child custody and ongoing support

North Carolina sees assets gathered during marriage as marital assets, and those outside marriage as separate property, though there can be exceptions to this broad statement.

RELATED: Equitable Distribution – What Does “Marital Property” Mean in Property Division Cases?

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How Do You Split Retirement Assets Like a 401(k)?

How do you divide a 401k in a divorce

Like most other assets, retirement accounts like a 401(k) or IRA can enter into the equation of equitable distribution. The role they play, however, depends on when they were established and how they behaved over time:

  • Before: A 401(k) established before marriage could be a separate asset if neither spouse benefited from it during the marriage. If the asset was rolled over to a current employer without any contributions, matches, or deferred compensation during the marriage, then it could be separate.
  • During: Funds added to the retirement account during the marriage are likely marital assets, though the line can depend on the payments. The needle can shift if the 401(k) started before the marriage but the account matured, or money was paid in or out before the separation.
  • After: A 401(k) that continues to grow during your separation can still count toward a divisible asset. The change in value up to the time of your divorce could add to the value of your property.

It’s possible that a single account falls across the before, during, and after periods, making 401(k) division a complicated process that depends heavily on values across the timeline.

What Is a Qualified Domestic Relations Order?

A qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) is a divorce agreement that outlines how a spouse will receive a portion of the retirement benefits. The spouse looking for a separate say in the retirement savings will usually be responsible for drafting it, and the other spouse will sign off. The drafting party generally brings that completed agreement to the plan administrator, often the employer in charge of the retirement account.

Benefit payments depend on the QDRO

 There are several options for payouts, each with different terms that could work better in certain situations:

  • The QDRO can establish an independent 401(k) or roll the assets into another plan
  • There could be a lump sum payment at the time of the order
  • The money can stay in the original plan, with the secondary spouse able to control their share

Dividing Retirement Funds Can Require Extra Considerations

Depending on how a spouse accesses their share of the funds through the QDRO, there can be significant consequences to consider. A lump sum will likely mean the receiving spouse will owe income tax, while keeping the money in a plan could allow tax deferment until payouts begin.

While these actions usually behave like normal with tax implications, the money that comes from a QDRO does have an important distinction. There won’t likely be an early withdrawal penalty, no matter the spouse’s age, which breaks from the standard practice for pulling assets from a retirement account.

Myers Law Firm Can Help You Work Through Dividing Retirement Accounts

Dividing assets can be a complicated matter in divorce, a shared 401(k) account included. Accurately appraising accounts, determining a fair share, and drafting a QDRO could benefit from experienced legal advice.

Myers Law Firm has more than 60 years of combined experience helping clients in North Carolina through the divorce process. Call (888) 376-2289 or fill out this simple form to schedule a free consultation and begin working toward a solution today.

References

Employee Benefits Security Administration. FAQs about Qualified Domestic Relations Orders. U.S. Department of Labor. https://www.dol.gov/sites/dolgov/files/EBSA/about-ebsa/our-activities/resource-center/faqs/qdro-overview.pdf

Howell, C. (2017, September 8). Equitable Distribution: The Marital Property Presumption. University of North Carolina School of Government. Retrieved from https://civil.sog.unc.edu/equitable-distribution-the-marital-property-presumption/

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-20 (2013)

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Can You Get Divorced and Still Own A House Together?

can you get divorced and still own a house together

Splitting property in a divorce gets more complicated the larger the assets get. And few couples own anything larger than their house.

There are a several ways to deal with the family home when you and your partner are going your separate ways, but finding the best way to handle property division in divorce could depend on finding experienced legal help.

How Do You Separate Property in a Divorce?

can you get divorced and still own a house together

You could try to determine the divide on your own, but agreements on big-ticket assets can be difficult. In these cases, you can ask the court for help when dividing the assets you acquired during your marriage.

Those assets include marital property, or property and debts you claimed after your marriage and before your separation. Separate assets, those that a spouse owned before the marriage, might not get split.

The Family House Can Fit Into Different Categories

If the family home purchase was before marriage, or the property was inherited or came as a gift, it could be separate property.

The house can become marital property if you refinanced or took out a home equity loan and changed the deed to include both of your names. Individual property can also become comingled when one spouse contributes finances or effort into a house the other spouse owns.

If the property’s value has increased during your marriage, that difference could also be divided between you. While the judge will likely consider the home property of one spouse or the other, the additional value could be divisible.

Once you know where the house stands, it’s time to consider how equitable distribution will impact the process. Property in North Carolina isn’t split down the middle, but rather the judge will look at what can be a fair division.

RELATED: Equitable Distribution – What Does “Marital Property” Mean in Property Division Cases?

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How Can You Divide the Real Estate?

can you get divorced and still own a house together

When it comes time to define terms for a settlement agreement, there are a few potential avenues toward an equitable division. While you can’t outright split a house in two, there are ways you can divide the worth. One spouse might have to buy out the other, or you can sell the property, with each getting a share of the resulting amount.

A third option is co-owning the home. Whether you want to keep the house for the kids or there’s currently a weak real estate market, there could be tempting reasons for the house to stay in the family.

Shared Living Space With the Other Spouse

You could continue to share the home over time, but that isn’t usually a desirable option for the recently divorced. This is also hard to come by when North Carolina requires you to be living in a different home for one year to be legally separated, which is a requirement for an absolute divorce.

Moving back in after that time might be a necessity, though isn’t often the first choice for most divorced couples. There are many other situations, however, where continued co-ownership of a home might be the most desirable option.

Spreading Payments Over Time

When one spouse can’t afford to buy out the other, and neither of you wants to sell, co-ownership can take another form. You could find an arrangement that works for meeting the mortgage while retaining a shared interest in the home.

Renting Out a Joint Property

The home might continue to make sense as a business venture. When a home has other tenets and becomes a source of income, that monthly rent and the mortgage and upkeep expenses could be split between parties.

Custody and the Family Home

Custody can take on a new look. Although uncommon, a trend has emerged in recent years called nesting. When you share time as the custodial parent, the children’s lives can be disrupted by moving between homes. Nesting uses the family home as the common ground for the kids, and it’s the parents who move in and out as their custody agreement dictates.

Alternatively, the parent with custody can remain living the home, while the other parent contributes to the mortgage or upkeep as part of division or custody.

What Problems Come With Joint Ownership?

can you get divorced and still own a house together

If you agree to move past selling and splitting, there are still plenty of things to consider. You’ll likely need to spell a lot out in your terms in case certain situations arise:

  • Property disagreements: It could be best to set up a plan for when there’s friction. Plans for the house, like splitting mortgage interest deduction, paying for upgrades, and even selling could benefit from preestablished mediation.
  • Tax implications: While you’ll still have to pay property taxes, it’s important to remember sales tax. You get a window where you may not have to face taxes for a sale after divorce, but that option likely isn’t in place forever.
  • Right of survivorship: If one spouse passes, what happens to their share of the property depends on how you define your ownership.
  • Bankruptcy: When one of you files for bankruptcy, it can have a drastic effect on possessions. While the sale of the house isn’t a guarantee, you may need to consider how it will affect your shared home.

Myers Law Firm Can Help With Approaching Marital Property Division

While keeping the family home isn’t for everyone, even those that see it as a viable way forward could be in for complicated decision-making. Divorce and property division can be hard enough, but negotiating terms for co-ownership can be an especially difficult task.

With more than 60 years of combined experience, Myers Law Firm can aid clients in assessing, splitting, and sharing large assets they acquired during their marriage.

Contact us by calling (888) 376-2889 or complete this short online contact form to schedule a brief consultation.

 

References

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-6

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-20

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-21

R., Branan. Land Title: Understanding Rights in Real and Personal Property. NC State Extension. Retrieved from URL https://farmlaw.ces.ncsu.edu/land-use-and-zoning/land-ownership-and-liability/land-title-understanding-rights-in-real-and-personal-property/

Separation and Divorce. North Carolina Judicial Branch. Retrieved from https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce/separation-and-divorce

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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What Happens When One Spouse Doesn't Want a Divorce in North Carolina?

Divorce is often a difficult, emotional, and complicated process at the end of a relationship. Despite the reasons why you may be seeking a divorce, your partner may not agree, or be unwilling to go along with the process.

No matter what, you deserve the resources and tools you need to move forward in life with confidence. In this blog, we outline your options for separation if one spouse doesn’t want a divorce in North Carolina. Keep reading to learn more.

Understand North Carolina’s Unique Divorce Laws

The State of North Carolina allows for no-fault divorce. A no-fault divorce in North Carolina requires that spouses have been separated for at least one year and one day before filing for what the law calls “absolute divorce.” A couple is eligible for absolute divorce when they have been living in different homes for one year and a day, and at least one spouse began the separation with the intention of permanent separation.

Even after the separation, an unwilling spouse still does not need to agree to the divorce for it to be legal. An unwilling spouse is not required to complete or sign any paperwork, go to court for a hearing, or file any paperwork with the court.

The one requirement, however, is that your spouse must receive proper legal notice of the divorce case that you file. This means that your spouse must be properly served with the paperwork related to the divorce before it can be made final.

What Divorce Papers Do Separating Couples Need in North Carolina?

Divorce is paperwork intensive. If you’re ready to initiate the divorce process, here’s what you need to file:

  • A complaint: This document should state your case and your request for a divorce. If you intend to ask for spousal support or property division, these requests and supporting facts must be included in the complaint. The Mecklenburg County Courthouse provides forms for an absolute divorce. If you believe your spouse will be difficult or your case involves additional claims, you may want to consult an attorney.
  • A summons: This document tells your spouse how long they have to respond to your complaint. If they fail to respond to the summons, your spouse won’t be able to have a say in the divorce proceedings.
  • A Domestic Civil Action Sheet: This document provides details about your complaint and your divorce case.
  • A Servicemember’s Civil Relief Act affidavit: The law requires that you file an Affidavit stating whether or not your spouse has been in the military. The purpose of this is to protect the rights of servicemembers who may be stationed away from home and unable to respond to a lawsuit.

Navigating the divorce process can be difficult, especially if you’re also dealing with the logistics of child support, child custody, alimony, and emotional pitfalls. The team at Myers Law Firm has handled divorce cases for over 60 combined years, and are ready to support you though the process.

What Happens if Your Spouse Ignores the Divorce Proceedings

If your spouse ignores the paperwork, they do so at their own peril. You may file a Motion for Summary Judgment and proceed with the divorce anyway. You will still have to wait the applicable time periods and schedule a hearing, but the hearing may not require anyone to appear. The judge will just review the file to make sure all the paperwork is in the proper order.

RELATED ARTICLE: Equitable Distribution—What Does “Marital Property” Mean in Property Division Cases?

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Myers Law Firm: North Carolina’s Trusted Divorce Attorneys

There are many factors to consider if you are pursuing a divorce in North Carolina. When you need to make a big life change, having an experienced, empathetic family law attorney on your side can make a world of difference.

Our law office has over 60 years of combined experience handing all types of divorce cases, from the extremely complex to relatively straightforward. We know how difficult the process can be, which is why we treat every client and their family with the respect and dignity they deserve.

To learn more about how our family law firm can help you through a separation and divorce, especially if your spouse doesn’t want to end your marriage, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Get started by calling (888) 376-2889 or by filling out this brief online form to schedule your free consultation with a divorce lawyer and get trustworthy legal advice about what to do next.

References

North Carolina Judicial Branch.  (2021). Separation and Divorce. Retrieved from https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce/separation-and-divorce

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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When Will Your Divorce Include Alimony?

Married couples going through divorce aren’t always on the same financial footing. Both partners might contribute to the household in their own way, leaving one relying on the other for income. This means that, without help, they could have trouble keeping up with the demands of living on their own.

And that financial help is not uncommon. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 1.8 million people in the US pay some form of spousal support. These payments often add up to thousands of dollars every year for the supporter. These large amounts make it important to understand what alimony is and whether it’s in play during your divorce.

What support is available?

Alimony is payment from the supporting spouse to the spouse in need after divorce. That help can range from a short-lived safety net to ongoing payments to keep a higher quality of life.

There are also options for temporary support while the courts consider alimony requests. Postseparation support payments are usually made over a short, specific term during your divorce. It could be available to those who really need financial help as the process moves along.

The requirements for postseparation support can take both parties into account:

  • What was your standard of living during the marriage?
  • What kind of income can you both earn?
  • What are your debts and financial obligations?

These payments can help one spouse stay afloat during the divorce, but they usually end when the divorce is complete. This is when alimony kicks in if it applies to your situation.

RELATED: 6 Things You Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina

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Who is eligible for alimony?

You’ll have to address alimony before your divorce becomes final. You can ask for a change to the payments after they’re established, but you might lose the chance for support once you close the book on the divorce process.

Your situation will also likely have to meet three general requirements to make the grade:

  1. Help: One spouse has a serious need for help maintaining their finances.
  2. Ability: The other spouse can provide support without putting their own standard of living in danger.
  3. Behavior: There was no marital misconduct from the spouse requesting help.

One piece that won’t come into play is gender. Either spouse can ask for alimony as long as they are dependent on the supporting spouse.

Once a judge has decided alimony is in order, North Carolina spells out factors that can affect how much and how long payments will be, including but not limited to:

  • Age and overall health
  • Education, job experience, and ability to earn
  • Standard of living during the marriage
  • Marriage length and contributions over time
  • Financial needs of each spouse
  • Misconduct during the marriage

No one situation can trigger support, but many can impact the final ruling. Each factor could change the nature of the payments.

Instances for alimony

If one spouse decides to stay home and maintain the household while the other advances their education or career, that can translate to support. This can be even more impactful if you haven’t been married enough time to see the benefits of the arrangement. A court could decide to help the spouse in need as they regain their lost footing.

More long-term help could be in order if one spouse can no longer make up lost ground or meet needs on their own. This might be due to factors like age or ability. In this case, a judge may decide that a longer, ongoing payment is the best option.

One aspect that can quickly tip the scales is the reading on misconduct. While bad behavior can be a broad definition, cheating spouses are often at a disadvantage. If the supporting spouse was unfaithful, North Carolina law requires some amount of alimony. But if the dependent spouse was in the wrong, the law bars the judge from awarding alimony.

But infidelity isn’t the only action that could influence a potential alimony scenario. There’s a long list of behaviors that can sway spousal support, including:

  • Cruelty and unbearable treatment
  • Spousal abuse
  • Abandonment
  • Alcohol or drug abuse
  • Wasting or hiding money

How much alimony can you expect?

North Carolina spousal support doesn’t rely on equations to determine the amounts or length of alimony. The judge can weigh the factors before them and make a subjective decision. Providing the right evidence to show your case could mean a big difference in the outcome. This is why it is so important to have a skilled and experienced family lawyer in your corner when alimony is at stake.

Myers Law Firm has over 60 years of combined experience helping clients work through complicated legal matters, including the many pieces involved in alimony proceedings and payment. The judge’s final call could stay in place for years to come, so assistance might make the process smoother now and help you financially in the future.

Call (888) 376-2889 or complete this simple form to schedule your appointment and learn your legal options during this difficult time.

References

Grall, T. (2018, December). Support providers: 2013. U.S. Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2018/demo/P70BR-158.pdf

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.1A (1995).

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.2A (1995).

North Carolina Equal Access to Justice Commission. (2019, June). North Carolina Divorce Packet. https://www.nccourts.gov/assets/inline-files/NC-Divorce-Packet-Aug-2019.pdf

North Carolina Judicial Branch. Separation and Divorce. https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce/separation-and-divorce#alimony-7481

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Can I Get a Divorce Online in North Carolina?

No matter where you are in the United States, filing a divorce is not only emotionally taxing, but can also be legally complicated and difficult. Each couple has a unique scenario, which results in nuances in the legal process.

If You Want an Online Divorce in Mecklenburg County, You’ll Have to Wait

There are not currently procedures in place to file for divorce online in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina. However, we expect that online filing will be coming soon. Currently, Mecklenburg County is expected to begin an online filing pilot program in December, 2021.

If you have any questions, Myers Law Firm, based in Charlotte, has the experience and knowledge to guide you through what you need to know before you file for divorce in North Carolina. If there are issues of child custody, property division, or financial support, you need to address those issues before you file for divorce—issues our team has experience handling for our clients.

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Requirements to File for Simple Divorce

If you’re ready to move forward with your divorce, there are a few standard requirements that are required before a spouse can file for divorce in North Carolina.

-At least one spouse must have been living in North Carolina for at least six months.

-You must have been separated (living in different residences) from your spouse for at least 12 months.

Once the divorce is filed, the spouse who did not initiate the filing (the defendant) must be given proper legal notice by being served with the Summons and Complaint.

What Is a Simple Divorce?

By definition, a simple divorce is a when a divorce is filed solely to end a marriage. In the court case, no other issues are involved, only the divorce. If there are any other issues involved, such as property division, alimony, child custody, or child support, you need to consult with an attorney before filing for divorce. You may waive or lose certain rights if you get divorced without addressing these issues, so don’t wait to contact a divorce attorney who can guide you through this process.

File for Divorce With Confidence

Working with an experienced lawyer can empower you throughout the divorce process. Though no situation is the same, lawyers knowledgeable in North Carolina family law will be able to guide you through the divorce process, whether it is a simple divorce or there are other issues that need to be resolved. With the assurance that you’re taking the right steps to achieve your goals, you can confidently proceed without having to worry about costly errors.

Myers Law Firm Can Help

Myers Law Firm Can Help

If your situation is complex and you want to file for divorce with confidence, Myers Law Firm is here to support you, backed by our experience, knowledge, and compassion. Rooted in North Carolina, we have over 50 years of combined experience and are passionate about helping our clients succeed.

To take a first step, schedule an initial consultation with us by calling (888) 376-2889 or fill out our contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Equitable Distribution — What Does “Marital Property” Mean in Property Division Cases?

When a couple is going through a divorce, one of the most difficult and stressful areas is determining how property will be divided. In North Carolina, this is conducted through a process called equitable distribution.

Equitable distribution is the legal division of marital and divisible property between spouses. This process can often become contentious, which is why parties may need to go through mediation or have a judge determine who gets what.

If you are going through a divorce, here is what you need to understand about equitable distribution and how it can affect your property division case.

The Factors Used to Determine Equitable Distribution

It’s not uncommon for divorcing spouses to disagree on the division of property, which includes both assets and debts. In these instances, the law in North Carolina divides marital property using the theory of equitable distribution.

You should note, however, that the term “equitable” distribution does not mean “equal” distribution. Instead, “equitable” means “fair in the eyes of the court,” which could be different than an equal division. As a result, the court can have a great deal of discretion over which spouse gets which assets. A judge can split your property 50-50, unless they determine that it would be inequitable or unfair to do so.

When a judge assesses the fairness of a split, they consider a series of factors, including:

  • Each spouse’s income, debts, and property
  • How long the marriage lasted and each spouse’s age
  • Ways in which a spouse directly or indirectly contributed to the other’s educational and professional opportunities
  • A custodial parent’s need to occupy or own the marital home or other household items
  • The physical and mental health of both spouses
  • Tax considerations related to property division
  • Any other factors that are “just and proper”

The court will not consider child support and alimony payments when dividing marital property.

RELATED: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During a Divorce

 

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Understand the Differences Between Marital Property and Separate Property

When you get married, it’s generally assumed you’re going to share more than a declaration of love. It’s natural to accrue assets over time, which will need to be divided if you go through a separation and divorce.

For the purposes of equitable distribution, North Carolina law defines marital property and separate property differently. There is also a third category, divisible property. Here are the distinctions:

Marital Property

This category includes any income, assets, property, and debts that you and your spouse have accumulated during the marriage. Marital property can include wages, pension and retirement benefits, investment accounts, real estate, personal property (cars, boats, jewelry, furniture, etc.), mortgages, car loans, and credit card bills.

Separate Property

Separate property refers to assets and debts owned before the marriage, along with gifts or inheritance that was specifically given to one spouse and not the other during the marriage. Typically, your spouse does not get a share of your separate property.

Separate property can transform into marital property, however, if it is mixed with marital assets. For example, if your spouse uses inheritance to buy a jointly titled asset, like a new home for the both of you, then it might become marital property.

Divisible Property

This category exists for assets that spouses accumulate in the time between the date of separation and the date the court handles property distribution. This includes assets that change in value during that same period. Note that assets that are acquired before the date of separation will still count as divisible property if it’s received after the date of separation.

To decide the valuation of items in an equitable distribution case, the judge will refer to the fair market value. Fair market value is the price that a hypothetical willing buyer would pay a hypothetical willing seller for the item in question when neither is under a compulsion to buy or sell the property.

Fair market value does not refer to an asset’s price when it was first purchased. It also isn’t the price someone would pay today if they bought an item brand new. Here’s an example: Let’s say you purchased a new sofa two years ago for $1,500. Today, the fair market value may be $500 because the sofa is no longer new and has experienced normal wear and tear.

Evidence Is Necessary When the Burden of Proof Lies With You

Burden of proof is key to disputes regarding equitable distribution in North Carolina. When it comes to the classification of marital property vs. separate property, it is up to each spouse to identify and prove the existence of assets that are going to be divided. This can be accomplished with written documentation, photographs, receipts, and property searches.

The court will only provide classifications and the value of marital property according to the evidence that is provided. In other words, if you want to dispute the classification of an asset as marital property, then the burden of proof would fall on you to present evidence otherwise. For example, if you want to claim a bank account as separate property because it has been in your name since before the marriage and your spouse did not contribute to it, then you will need evidence to prove that.

Tracing the Origins of Mixed Assets Can Prove Challenging

A mixed asset is an item that contains components of both marital property and separate property. One example of a mixed asset is a retirement account that was started before the marriage, but continued to receive contributions after you were married.

Mixed assets are complicated because they require a judge to determine how much value was acquired before and during a marriage. If you want to seek a partial separate property classification, then the burden of proof will be on you to provide evidence from the time before and during the marriage. Tracing the origins of accounts or property can be extremely frustrating and challenging since financial records and dates can go back many years and documentation can be difficult to find. Many times, an expert witness such as a forensic accountant will need to be hired to assist in this process.

Since this evidence can be tough to compile, these assets often wind up classified as marital property. If you are experiencing issues with mixed assets in your divorce case, you may want to contact an experienced law firm to help defend your legal rights.

RELATED: 6 Things You Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina

Who Is Responsible for Debts Accrued During My Marriage?

Another common pain point in divorce cases relates to marital debt. In North Carolina, marital debt refers to debts accumulated during the marriage and prior to the date of separation for the joint benefit of both parties. Examples of marital debt include mortgages, credit card debt, and car loans.

If you are looking to claim that a debt was marital, then the burden of proof once again falls on you to prove that you and your spouse enjoyed a joint benefit. Joint benefit means that you and your spouse both found value in taking on the debt in question.

For example, if you charged a family vacation to a credit card in your name, then you might be able to prove that it’s a marital debt since the entire family enjoyed something of value. Likewise, if you wanted to prove that debt sustained during the marriage is the separate party of your spouse, then you would need to prove that a joint benefit was not in place.

Reach Out to Myers Law Firm For Help Protecting Your Assets

The family law attorneys at Myers Law Firm are ready to act as your advocates and protect your rights when dividing property during a divorce. We have years of experience handling every aspect of property division cases and an thorough knowledge of local courts, and we won’t hesitate to pursue your case aggressively and fight on your behalf in court if necessary.

To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form.

References

Howell, C. (2017, September 8). Equitable Distribution: The Marital Property Presumption. University of North Carolina School of Government. Retrieved from https://civil.sog.unc.edu/equitable-distribution-the-marital-property-presumption/

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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How Much Does It Cost to File for Divorce In North Carolina?

Divorce is difficult no matter what. For some, the cost to file for divorce in North Carolina adds significant hardship to an already financially stressful situation. Filing fees are something couples need know about beforehand, as they might impact decisions on when to begin divorce proceedings.

This article provides basic information on filing for divorce in North Carolina, including when it might be possible to avoid the typical fees. We’ll also discuss how an attorney can help with the entire process.

Filing for Divorce and Applicable Fees in North Carolina

Filing for divorce is a relatively straightforward process. However, you cannot begin with it until you’re certain of your eligibility for divorce in North Carolina.

To file for divorce:

  • A couple must be separated (living apart) for at least one year
  • One must be a North Carolina resident (at least one of the spouses) for at least six months before the case is filed

Once you’re sure of your eligibility, take the following steps:

  1. Prepare your forms, including a Domestic Civil Action Cover Sheet, a Civil Summons, and a Complaint for Absolute Divorce. The North Carolina Judicial Branch provides these in a divorce packet on their website. Sign the forms and make copies for yourself and your spouse. Be sure to hold off on signing anything that must be notarized until you can meet with a notary.
  2. File the forms with your county’s court clerk. There is a fee for filing divorce papers, and it is subject to change. Currently, the cost to file a Complaint for divorce is $225. If you wish to resume a maiden or former name, there is an extra $10 filing fee. However, this is well worth the cost; the process of changing to a prior name as part of a divorce is much easier than the regular name change process.
  3. Serve the papers. This simply means having the forms delivered to your spouse by a sheriff or certified mail. If you want to deliver the papers yourself, your spouse must sign a waiver to accept that. Having papers served comes with a fee – typically $30 for the sheriff in North Carolina to do it. Lesser fees may apply if serving the papers by mail.
  4. Wait 30 days after your spouse has been served to move forward with the divorce (whomever delivered the papers should be able to provide a service date). The other party has 30 days to file an Answer. If the case is an uncontested divorce, the other spouse usually does not file anything, but you still have to wait the 30 days.

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This Process Only Applies to Divorce

If you’re considering divorce in North Carolina, you need to be aware of some very important points. First, filing for a divorce is separate from the other claims for custody, child support, alimony, and equitable distribution. These are the claims dealing with the main issues that surround a separation. While you must be separated for one year before you file for divorce, you can file in court for custody, child support, alimony, and equitable distribution at the time you separate, or you can agree on all of these issues even before your separation in some instances. The divorce that is filed after the one-year of separation does not affect the other pending claims or your settlement if you have resolved everything already.

VERY IMPORTANT: Under North Carolina law, you must have either resolved your claims for equitable distribution and alimony before the divorce is granted OR you must have filed claims for equitable distribution and alimony before the divorce is granted. If a divorce has been filed against you and these other issues have not been resolved, you should contact an attorney to make sure you have properly preserved the claims for equitable distribution and alimony.

Under North Carolina law, you must have either resolved your claims for equitable distribution and alimony before the divorce is granted OR you must have filed claims for equitable distribution and alimony before the divorce is granted.

Possible Exemptions for Avoiding Fees

The courts understand that it’s extremely difficult for some couples seeking divorce to cover the fees for filing and serving papers. In such cases, it may be possible to get a filing fee exemption and avoid some or all of the cost to file for divorce in North Carolina.

One way to avoid court costs is to file as indigent and have the fees waived. Typically, receiving the following benefits qualifies you as indigent:

  • Food and Nutrition Services
  • Supplemental Security Income (SSI)
  • Work First Family Assistance

If you think you qualify as indigent and want to avoid filing and serving fees, submit a Petition to Proceed as an Indigent (Form G-106), located on the North Carolina Courts website and at your county Clerk of Courts. Fill out the form and indicate your reason for applying as an indigent. If you do not receive any of the benefits listed above (Food and Nutrition Services, SSI, or Work First Family Assistance), check the box indicating that you are unable to advance the court filing costs.

Attorneys Can Help You Avoid Unnecessary Fees

While county clerks will help you find and submit the proper paperwork for your divorce case, they cannot provide legal guidance as you complete the forms.

If the cost to file for divorce in North Carolina is adding to your stress, an attorney may be able to help you avoid unnecessary spending and make the process go more smoothly. Myers Law Firm has a track record of successful client outcomes, and we’d be honored to assist you in your divorce proceedings and cost reduction.

 RELATED: 6 Things You Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina

Contact Myers Law Firm for Divorce Help Today

If your family is about to enter divorce proceedings, the knowledge and guidance of an experienced attorney can be invaluable, from helping you avoid filing fees to ensuring you achieve your goals for custody and alimony.

To schedule an initial consultation, please call (888) 376-2889 or fill in the simple contact form on our website. Let us put our experience to work for you!

References 

North Carolina Equal Access to Justice Commission. (2019, June). North Carolina Divorce Packet. North Carolina Judicial Branch. https://www.nccourts.gov/assets/inline-files/NC-Divorce-Packet-Aug-2019.pdf 

North Carolina Judicial Branch. (2012, December 1). Court Costs and Fees Chart. https://www.nccourts.gov/assets/documents/publications/court_costs_chart-1Dec2012-civil.pdf?lfc05ngZRmwkQGdR8vwSWiNmQIZ175Xu  

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Understand the Difference Between a Separation Agreement and a Consent Order

If your marriage is deteriorating, you may be looking for ways to start the separation process. If you’re struggling to figure out what to do, you might not realize that you have options other than immediately going to court to fight things out.

In this blog, we’ll review two legal options that are available to separating couples as alternatives to a court battle: separation agreements and consent orders.

What’s the Difference Between a Separation Agreement and a Consent Order

If you’re looking for ways to resolve the issues involved with a ending your marital relationship, a separation agreement or consent order could help. Here are the differences between them:

Separation Agreement

A separation agreement is a private contract between spouses that outlines how you and your spouse want to settle the issues related to your separation and the end of the marriage. You can enter into a separation agreement at any time after you separate. The terms of the agreement remain in full force and effect even after the actual divorce, which you cannot get until you have been separated for one year. This contract can deal with all issues related to a separation and end all aspects of the marital relationship except that you cannot get remarried until you are divorced.

Because a separation agreement is a contract, it’s not on public record and one party can sue if the other violates the terms of the agreement. Signing a separation agreement is serious, so it’s always a good idea to consult an experienced North Carolina divorce attorney before signing one.

Consent Order

A consent order is similar to a separation agreement in that it can resolve all issues related to the dissolution of the marriage. However, the parties sign it and it is then presented to a judge and it becomes a court order which is enforceable by contempt. To get a consent order, you must file a lawsuit against the other person. And because it’s part of a lawsuit, any consent orders are on public record.

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How Do I Know Which Option Is Right for Me?

Being able to get a consent order or separation agreement in place is generally the best option. This is because it means you and your spouse have resolved the issues related to your separation. This avoids going through an emotional, expensive process that can take a tremendous amount of time and effort by having to go to court and have a judge make the decision for you. Determining which option is right for you can be different in different cases, but it is generally best to put property division and alimony arrangements in a separation agreement and custody and child support agreements in a consent order.

RELATED: What Do My North Carolina Child Support Payments Cover?

Need Help During Your Separation or Divorce? Talk to a Lawyer First

If you’re struggling to initiate a separation, a consent order or separation agreement could be the solution you need. One of the best ways to protect your best interests, understand all your options, and make the process go smoothly as possible is to work with an experienced divorce attorney. An attorney can help you take the necessary steps to implement a separation agreement or consent order.

At Myers Law Firm, we have over 50 years of combined experience standing with people going through separations and divorces in North Carolina. We know how challenging it can be to identify the best solution for you and your family, which is why we make sure you understand the options available to you so you can make the best choice possible.

Myers Law Firm: Supporting People Through Separation and Divorce for Over 40 Years

If you need a separation, divorce, or ways to resolve a separation disagreement, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us and see how we can assist you. We’ve helped countless clients like you get the tools and resources they need to imagine a brighter future, even when the present is difficult. If you need help with a divorce or separation in Charlotte or anywhere in Mecklenburg County, schedule your initial consultation by filling out our quick online contact form or calling our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889).

We are ready to walk with you every step of the way, providing the guidance and counsel you need to face the stressful prospect of a family law case with confidence.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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How Do Courts Decide What’s in a Child’s Best Interests?

When courts issue a child custody order, they must consider which services and parenting arrangement best serve the child’s unique needs. This isn’t a simple, cut-and-dry process. Because custody decisions can profoundly affect a child’s physical and emotional wellbeing, courts weigh a variety of factors and might even call in specially trained experts.

In this blog, the child custody attorneys at Myers Law Firm will outline some of the factors that go into determining what is in the child’s best interests in North Carolina.

What Is the Definition of the “Best Interests of the Child?”

North Carolina’s courts must always focus on the child’s best interests when making child custody decisions. That means that the judge’s top priority should be the minor child’s health, welfare, and safety. This doesn’t just cover their physical wellbeing—it also involves their mental health, emotional needs, and intellectual development.

While there’s no universal definition of “best interests of the child,” there are certain factors that courts consider when deciding what types of actions, services, orders, and decisions will preserve a child’s emotional wellbeing during a divorce. By considering factors that impact a child’s circumstance and a parent or guardian’s ability to care for them, courts, judges, attorneys, and parents aim to reach an agreement that puts the child’s safety and wellbeing first.

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What Do Courts Consider When Deciding a Child’s Best Interests?

When determining a child’s best interests, the court will consider multiple factors. Some of these factors carry more weight than others, but the goal is to reduce stress on the child, avoid needless litigation, and make sure they’re in the best possible home arrangement.

Here are a few of the elements a court may consider:

Reducing Stress and Prioritizing Emotional Bonds

Divorce is never easy. In North Carolina, the priority is making sure any children involved endure the least amount of stress possible. This means staying with the parent or guardian with whom the child has the strongest emotional connection. This is usually the primary caregiver, but not always.

What the Child Wants

Judges in North Carolina don’t have to ask the kids what they’d prefer. However, some judges will ask older children for their opinion on what they believe is in their best interest.

Domestic Violence

North Carolina law requires domestic violence between ex-spouses to be included in the process to ensure children are safe and protected. If you have questions about how instances of domestic violence might impact your child custody case, it’s best to speak with an experienced lawyer as soon as you can.

Parental Infidelity and Misconduct

While this factor does not carry as much weight as others in this list, past sexual misconduct is something the courts look at when assessing what will best serve the child. Parents to focus on their children’s best interests and not their personal grievances when making custody decisions. Committing adultery might make someone a bad spouse, but it doesn’t automatically mean they’re a bad parent. If the child is safe, secure, and emotionally connected to the parent that “cheated,” the court will be less likely to remove them from that parent’s care.

Keeping Siblings Together

To protect kids’ emotional bonds, keeping siblings together is a priority for many courts and judges in North Carolina. Some exceptions would allow the children to be split up, including the children being far apart in age or one child has a stronger emotional bond with one parent over the other.

Religious Beliefs

Courts cannot discriminate against one parent over the other based on their religious beliefs. Instead, the priority is making sure children have what they need to be spiritually healthy and cared for.

Neighborhood

The court may take the neighborhood a parent lives into consideration, but only related to preserving the child’s status quo. It’s important not to give a wealthier parent preference over the other. So, a court may consider neighborhood if it offers the community, playmates, school, and emotional bonds the child is used to, rather than simply making the decision based on which parent has the most material resources.

Above all, the court’s focus is on preserving children’s emotional bonds and maintaining the status quo as much as possible.

Above all, the court’s focus is on preserving children’s emotional bonds and maintaining the status quo as much as possible. The weight given to these factors can vary from case to case, so if you have questions about your situation, don’t wait to contact an experienced family law attorney who can help you understand your options.

A Guardian Ad Litem Can Help Identify Your Child’s Best Interests

In some child custody cases, the court will appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL). This individual is specially trained to help identify and articulate your child’s best interests. They will get to know you, your child, and the other parent. The GAL may also interview teachers, coaches, and other professionals to understand your child’s needs and priorities. They will then report their findings to the court, suggesting what is in your child’s best interests. Because guardians ad litem are objective professionals, many courts give significant weight to their recommendations.

While guardians ad litem are most often used in contentious custody disputes and cases involving abuse or neglect, they are an option in any child custody case.

RELATED: What Do My North Carolina Child Support Payments Cover?

Facing a Child Custody Case? Get Support From a Family Law Attorney

Understanding your options as a parent facing divorce and a custody battle can be an emotional, confusing experience. At Myers Law Firm, we believe that no one in this position should walk alone. We’re committed to helping parents and families like yours find the best possible solution for their children and new family structure.

With over 40 years of experience supporting families in North Carolina, we understand custody laws and the details that go into crafting successful cases. We support every client with empathy, practical solutions, and child-centered advocacy.

Myers Law Firm: Supporting Families Every Step of the Way

If you need help understanding your child custody options or how to protect your children in a divorce, don’t wait to contact the team at Myers Law Firm. To schedule an initial consultation with one of our family law attorneys, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or use our online contact form.

 

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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What Can I Do About Parental Alienation?

When parents separate or divorce, children are forced to adjust in multiple ways. No matter how parents feel about each other, it’s critical that children continue to feel loved and secure, which requires a level of compromise and joint effort between the parents.

Unfortunately, not all parents put their child’s interests first during a divorce. Sometimes, one parent engages in manipulation that undermines and damages the other parent’s relationship with the child. This type of relationship damage is called parental alienation, and it can lead to grief and emotional anguish, not to mention concern for the children’s wellbeing and sense of security.

In this blog article, we’ll explore parental alienation and help you identify it sooner rather than later. We’ll also discuss what to do about parental alienation and provide advice about how to address the problem.

What Is Parental Alienation and Why Does It Happen?

Parental alienation occurs when a parent-child relationship deteriorates and becomes less close than it was due to interference and manipulation from the other parent. The engagement becomes more negative, less frequent, or both, and the parent feels like they’ve lost critical elements of their connection with their child. Parental alienation can range from mild to severe.

Relationships between parents and children will naturally evolve as the child (and the parent) grow and change. Even people who are very close with their parents can probably remember times in their life when the relationship became more distant for a while.

However, parental alienation is different than the natural relationship changes that life brings. Parental alienation happens because one parent engages in behaviors that actively harm the other parent’s relationship with the child. This type of harmful behavior is most common in cases that involve divorce or separation.

Sometimes, the other parent is deliberately working to alienate the child from the other parent out of anger or spite, but that’s not always the case. The parent who’s causing the alienation may not realize what they’re doing on a conscious level, or they may tell themselves they’re only doing what is best for the child.

No matter why parental alienation happens, it can lead to emotional harm and trauma for both children and parents. So, parental alienation always needs to be recognized and addressed as early as possible.

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Parental Alienation: Warning Signs and Symptoms

Most children, especially young children, want to please their parents. When one parent fosters negativity toward the other, the child can feel conflicted and guilty. A child who is starting to experience parental alienation might experience, anxiety, anger, depression, problems at school, eating or sleeping disorders, and other behavioral issues.

The parent who is causing the alienation may hide their behavior or make no secret of it. Either way, watch for signs that parental alienation may be beginning in your family. The other parent might:

  • Deny you access to your child in person or over the phone
  • Withhold important information about your child or their activities
  • Schedule alternatives to tempt your child away from your scheduled time
  • Eavesdrop on your phone calls or monitor your text messages
  • Lie to you or your child about events and conversations
  • Refuse to pass along gifts or money you send to your child
  • Allow or encourage your child to say negative things about you
  • React poorly if your child says positive things about you
  • Interrupt your time with your child with lots of phone calls or text messages
  • Instruct your child to spy on you and report back
  • Use your child as a messenger instead of communicating directly
  • Unnecessarily share details of the divorce or settlement your child
  • Deliberately cause your child to experience hardship (skipped meals, unmet needs) and then blame you
  • Make statements that cause you to worry about your child when nothing is wrong
  • Refuse to be flexible and make reasonable changes to scheduling and visitation
  • Offer your child more than an age-appropriate say in scheduling and timeshare details, often while encouraging or manipulating the child to side with them in disagreements

If you see or suspect any of these alienating behaviors, you need to monitor the situation and determine what is going on. Just because one or two of these occur does not mean parental alienation is occurring. As mentioned above, relationships between parents and children change over time. However, if these actions are occurring on a regular and consistent basis, you should act sooner rather than later for the sake of your child’s wellbeing and your relationship with them.

What Can I Do About Parental Alienation?

Parental alienation can be very difficult to prove in court. However, if you can provide evidence and make strong arguments, you may be able to convince the court to intervene, possibly by changing the custody arrangements.

To gather evidence of parental alienation and make a compelling case in court, you should follow these steps.

Keep a Record of Events

Write down the date and circumstance any time you believe you were denied rightful access to your child. You should also record any incidents where your ex lied about you or spoke negatively about you in front of your child. If you end up in court, the records you’ve kept may help establish patterns of alienating behavior and convince a judge to intervene.

Create a Paper Trail

Hold on to emails, texts, and other communications in which you asked to see your child or discussed legal arrangements. Not only does this prove your effort to maintain your relationship with your child, but it could provide valuable proof if your ex lies about these conversations or doesn’t keep to their word.

Explore Counseling

An experienced therapist who has training in family issues should know about parental alienation and understand how to fight it. If you suspect parental alienation or see it starting to happen, talking with a therapist can be a valuable step. Not only will therapy give you and the child tools and vocabulary to address the issue, but it will also show that you’re working to improve the situation.

You may even want to consider asking the other parent to attend counseling sessions with you. These sessions can be joint or occur separately. Either way, it could lead to valuable progress. And making these types of efforts can only help your custody case, no matter how your ex responds. If you make a legitimate attempt to reach out and your ex refuses, a court may look favorably on your efforts in a future hearing.

Act Fast and Be Tenacious

Fighting against parental alienation can feel frustrating and exhausting, especially when the problem has become severe. However, you wouldn’t give up if the threat to your child were related to health or safety, so don’t give up here. Your relationship with your child, as well as their overall wellbeing, are at stake.

Remember also that it’s important to address parental alienation as soon as possible. If your ex succeeds in damaging your relationship with your child, it can create a vicious cycle. Your ex may claim that you’re spending less time with your child because you don’t care, which may drive your child further away. It’s never too late to try and repair the damage done by alienation, but it’s also never too early to

Don’t Fight Bad Behavior With Bad Behavior

If you believe your ex is trying to harm your relationship with your child, the worst thing you can do is to respond in kind. Do not talk badly about your ex in front of your child, and don’t try to keep your child away from the other parent in violation of a custody order or agreement. Remember that when you take the high road, the law is on your side. Family court judges do not take kindly to parents violating court orders or badmouthing each other in front of their children. If your ex is engaging in these behaviors and a judge finds out, your ex will be in trouble. But if you start behaving the same way, all your leverage will be gone.

Talk to an Experienced Family Law Attorney

As mentioned, parental alienation can be difficult to prove in court. However, an experienced attorney should have the resources and training required to identify parental alienation and bring it to light in court. Sometimes, a lawyer can help you address the problem without even going to court. Your attorney can communicate with your ex and let them know you have representation and are dead serious about fighting for your relationship with your child, which may make your ex think twice before continuing to lie and manipulate.

RELATED: 5 Child Custody Myths, Debunked

Myers Law Firm Can Help With Parental Alienation and Child Custody Issues in Charlotte, North Carolina

At Myers Law Firm, we understand parental alienation and other complicated issues that come up during a separation or divorce. We have years of experience guiding clients through family law matters, and we can come up with practical, affordable legal strategies to address whatever needs and challenges you’re facing.

To schedule your initial consultation with an attorney from our team, please call us at 888-376-2889 or use the simple contact form on our website.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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What Do My North Carolina Child Support Payments Cover?

Parents who pay child support in North Carolina often want to know, “What does my child support cover?” And, as a follow-up question, many wonder, “What should I do if I think the other parent isn’t using child support properly and my child’s essential needs aren’t being met?”

In this article, we’ll break down the basics of North Carolina child support and explain what is covered, what isn’t, and what you can do if you believe the other parent is misusing funds from child support.

The Basics of Child Support in North Carolina

When a marriage ends in North Carolina, or when unmarried people who have kids together break up, both parents have an equal responsibility to provide financial support for the child or children.

If you’re the custodial parent — the parent who gets most or all of the parenting time, also known as physical custody — the court will assume you’re paying child support “by default.” The day-to-day childcare expenses you pay while you have physical custody of the child, like food, clothing, housing costs, and other expenses, serve as your share of basic child support.

If you’re the noncustodial parent (which means your child lives with your ex most of the time), you probably don’t pay these day-to-day expenses, or you pay much less of them. So, the law says you need to make up the difference and pay your fair share to meet your child’s needs. To meet your financial support obligations, you’ll be required to make child support payments, usually through check, electronic payments, or wage-withholding.

A court will determine the exact child support obligations and the structure of the child support payments in your case. Usually, the noncustodial parent pays child support until the child turns 18 or graduates high school, whichever is later, but not beyond age 20.

Child support is a separate issue from alimony, which is also called spousal support. Child support is paid to support a child, while alimony is financial support paid to a former spouse. Money you pay as alimony won’t affect the amount of child support you owe.

RELATED: When and How Can I Modify Child Support in North Carolina?

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What is Covered by Child Support?

Child support payment amounts are based on the noncustodial parent’s income and parenting time. The payments are intended to cover essential needs such as:

  • Food
  • Clothing
  • Housing
  • Educational expenses, including school supplies, and fees for extracurricular activities
  • Miscellaneous additional expenses

In general, child support payments should go toward reasonable and essential living expenses that support your child’s standard of living. The theory behind child support is that the child should enjoy the same standard of living as if both parents were living together.

The amount of child support paid should include payments for health insurance for the children and work-related childcare expenses. When the court determines the amount of child support, it will calculate expenses based on the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines and factor in any payments that either parent is currently making. For example, if the parent who pays child support is paying for health insurance for the child, those health insurance payments will factor into the child support calculations.

To learn more about the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines and find out exactly how courts in our state set child support, read our previous article on the subject, “What You Need to Know About North Carolina Child Support.”

If I’m Paying Child Support, Do I Have to Pay for Other Things, Too?

Generally, the answer is yes. You have to pay for the child’s expenses during the time the child is with you. However, what exactly you have to pay for in addition to child support and expenses when the child is with you will be unique to your case.

If the amount of child support in your case is based on Worksheet A of the Child Support Guidelines, then the child support you pay is supposed to be all that you have to pay the other parent. If your custody arrangement places the child support on Worksheet B of the Guidelines, then both parties are expected to share expenses for the child in a “true sharing” arrangement. This sharing includes items that would go between houses or benefits the child while at both houses. Examples of these types of items include:

  • School lunch payments
  • Haircuts
  • Shoes that go back and forth
  • School expenses
  • Winter coats

Whether you are on Worksheet A or B, you and the other parent may agree between yourselves on payment for things like extracurricular activities or summer camps.

Also, if you resolved your case by agreement with the other parent, you may have included provisions for sharing expenses for the child. Usually, the parent who has to travel for visitation is responsible for the travel expenses. However, sometimes travel expenses may be included in the child support calculation as an extraordinary expense.

What Can I Do if My Ex Is Misusing Child Support?

The parent who pays child support rarely gets any say in how the other parent spends the money. However, if you have concerns that your ex is spending the money on drugs or alcohol, or if you believe they’re neglecting the needs of the child, there may be grounds to modify the custody arrangement and then recalculate your child support.

RELATED: When and How Can I Modify Child Support in North Carolina?

Contact Myers Law Firm for Help with Child Support in Charlotte, North Carolina

At Myers Law Firm, our family law attorneys are here to support you and fight for your rights during a divorce and any related legal matters, like child custody and child support. If the other parent owes child support and refuses to pay, we can help you hold them accountable without violating any existing court orders.

If you need help with a child support issue in Charlotte or anywhere in Mecklenburg County, schedule your initial consultation by filling out our quick online contact form or calling our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889).

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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6 Things You Need to Know About Divorce in North Carolina

Going through a divorce can be a difficult process full of stress, fear, and uncertainty. If you have children or significant marital assets, things can get complicated in a hurry. Without the help of a skilled and experienced divorce attorney on your side, you could be in trouble.

In this blog article, we’ll clear up common sources of confusion and give you some practical advice about divorce in North Carolina. Keep reading to learn six essential facts about the North Carolina divorce process.

1. Anyone Can File for Divorce — if They Meet the Requirements

In North Carolina, any legally married spouse can file for divorce, regardless of which state the couple was married in. However, there are two requirements that must be met:

  • One spouse must be a legal resident of North Carolina who has lived in the state for at least six months before filing.
  • The two spouses must have lived separate and apart for at least one continuous year, and at least one spouse must have intended to leave the marriage throughout that time.

The separation requirement is very important. You don’t have to file any paperwork to begin the separation, but either you or your spouse must move out of the marital residence and intend to leave the marriage.

Keep in mind that the separation requirement is for one continuous (uninterrupted) year. If you and your ex move back in together and decide you want to recommit to the marriage, only to realize a month later the decision was a huge mistake, you have to start the one-year separation period all over again. (However, physical intimacy doesn’t necessarily affect the separation; if you and your spouse decide to “hook up” with no strings attached, and one or both of you still intends to leave the marriage, it won’t affect the one-year separation period.)

For a filing fee of $225, the filing spouse can file a Complaint for Absolute Divorce with the Clerk of Court. For more information about how to file, read our previous blog article: How to Obtain an Absolute Divorce in Mecklenburg County.

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2. North Carolina Is a No-Fault Divorce State

In North Carolina, the spouse filing for a divorce does not need to prove the other spouse was at fault to get an absolute divorce (a complete termination of a marriage). So, you don’t need any specific grounds for divorce in our state — you just need to meet the requirements we described in the previous section.

However, even though North Carolina’s divorce laws don’t require you to prove fault, you can still file for a fault-based divorce based on marital misconduct or incurable insanity. (We won’t go into divorce based on incurable insanity here, as it’s fairly rare.)

A divorce based on marital misconduct is also called a divorce from bed and board. You may be able to get this type of divorce if your spouse engaged in any of the following six behaviors:

  1. They abandoned your family.
  2. They kicked you out of the marital home for no good reason.
  3. They inflicted cruel treatment on you (such as domestic violence) that subjected you to harm or endangered your life.
  4. They treated you so badly that your life became unbearable.
  5. They abused alcohol or drugs to the point that your life became unbearable.
  6. They committed adultery.

Divorce from bed and board often creates confusion because the name is misleading: if you petition a court for a divorce from bed and board and succeed, you’ll still be married to your spouse. You won’t be able to remarry until you get an absolute divorce. So, why would anyone want to get this confusingly named type of “divorce” that doesn’t actually end the marriage?

The reason is that a divorce from bed and board can still serve a couple of important purposes. First, you can file for this type of divorce without being separated for one year; if you succeed, the divorce will create a legal separation and may provide grounds for removing your spouse from your home. Second, proving that your spouse is at fault for the breakdown of your marriage can put you in a better position as you handle divorce-related legal issues like child custody and spousal support. Then, after you have been separated for one year, you can come back to court and get a judgment of absolute divorce, which will end the marriage for good and allow you to remarry.

RELATED: 4 Things You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce in North Carolina

3. North Carolina Courts Will Split Your Marital Assets 50/50 — Unless You Can Give Them a Good Reason to Do Otherwise

During a divorce, North Carolina courts try to divide marital property in a way that’s fair and equitable to both parties. Marital property includes any income, assets, and debts you and your spouse accumulated during the marriage.

Marital property usually includes:

  • Bank account balances and cash on hand
  • Investment accounts
  • Pension and retirement accounts
  • Real estate
  • Personal property, such as:
    • Cars, boats, and other vehicles
    • Jewelry, antiques, artwork, and collectible items
    • Furniture and appliances
  • Debt, such as:
    • Mortgages
    • Auto loans
    • Credit card debt

Not everything you own is necessarily marital property. The court will consider any assets you owned before the marriage and any property you received during the marriage as a gift or inheritance to be separate property. These assets won’t be part of the property division process unless you commingled (mixed) them with marital property.

How does commingling happen? An easy example is if you took money that you brought into the marriage and put it into your joint checking account that you shared with your spouse. However, other examples of commingling aren’t so obvious. For example, if you owned the marital home before getting married but used marital funds to pay the mortgage or renovate the house, your home will have a marital property component.

Once you separate from your spouse, you no longer accumulate marital property together. However, sometimes spouses earn property during the marriage but don’t receive it until after the separation. And often, assets change in value between the date of separation and when the court gets around to property division. In both cases, these assets become divisible property, and the court will deal with them during the property division process.

Once all the property is accounted for, the court has to divvy it up. North Carolina follows a rule for property division called equitable distribution, which means at the beginning of the property division process, the court will assume both spouses should receive an even split of the marital assets. Then, the judge will listen to arguments from either spouse or both spouses to change this 50/50 split.

Factors the judge will consider may include:

  • Each spouse’s income, debts, and property
  • How long the marriage lasted
  • Each spouse’s age
  • Ways in which a spouse directly or indirectly contributed to the other’s educational and professional opportunities
  • A custodial parent’s need to occupy or own the marital home or other household items
  • Both spouses’ physical and mental health
  • Tax consequences related to the property division

Also, North Carolina law says judges can consider any other factors they decide are “just and proper” during the property division process. So, judges have a lot of individual leeway when deciding who gets what in a divorce.

4. Prepare for a Fight Over Alimony, Child Custody, and Child Support

Besides property division, three other major legal issues can lead to battles in a divorce case: alimony (also called spousal support or postseparation support), child support, and child custody.

  • Alimony is financial support paid by one spouse (the supporting spouse) to the other spouse (the dependent spouse). This support is supposed to help the dependent spouse stay financially secure as they transition out of the marriage.
  • Child support is an ongoing, court-ordered payment made by one parent to the other parent, who has primary custody of the child. The parent who receives child support is supposed to use the money to pay for the child’s reasonable needs and expenses.
  • The child custody process determines who gets legal custody of the children and sets up an arrangement for physical custody.
    • If the child is with you and not the other parent, then you have physical custody. When you have physical custody, you can make day-to-day decisions about the child’s care — what they should eat, what they should wear, and so on.
    • Legal custody gives the right and responsibility to make important long-term decisions on the child’s behalf. These decisions can cover matters like education, healthcare, and religious practice.

Each of these legal issues is complex in its own right and will probably involve many filings and trips to court, unless you and your spouse can work together and settle the issue with either a separation agreement or consent order. If you want more in-depth information about one or all of these issues in North Carolina, refer to the following blog articles from our website.

RELATED: Who Gets Alimony in North Carolina and Why?

RELATED: What You Need to Know About North Carolina Child Support

RELATED: 7 Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Child Custody Case

5. Don’t Plan on Getting an Annulment

An annulment is a legal judgment that voids a marriage. A divorce ends a marriage, but an annulment is more like turning back time: it’s as if the marriage never even happened.

Some people believe they can get an annulment because they weren’t married long or got married hastily. However, this isn’t true. You can only get an annulment if your marriage wasn’t legally valid in the first place, and these circumstances are very rare.

There are only six possible factors that could make your marriage legally invalid in North Carolina. Those factors are:

  1. Either spouse was already married at the time of the marriage
  2. You and your spouse are closely related (closer than first cousins)
  3. Either spouse was younger than 16 on the date of the marriage, and you didn’t have a special court order that allowed you to get married at a younger age
  4. Either spouse was forced to marry against their will or was incapable of understanding what they were doing at the time of the marriage
  5. The marriage was based on one spouse lying about being pregnant, and the couple separated within 45 days of the marriage and stayed separated for at least one year and produced no children within 10 months of the date of separation
  6. Either spouse was physically impotent (not capable of engaging in sexual intercourse) at the time of the marriage; the impotence must be permanent, incurable, and diagnosed by a medical professional

If your marriage doesn’t meet one of these six grounds for an annulment, then you can forget about getting one — it’s not going to happen. If you believe your marriage wasn’t legally valid, talk to an experienced family law attorney right away; getting your marriage annulled can be a complex process, even if you have grounds.

6. It’s Critical to Find the Right Divorce Lawyer

A divorce is one of the most important events in your life and will have major implications on your future. So, it’s essential to choose a divorce attorney who not only has experience and understanding of the law but who also communicates well and makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Be sure to do plenty of research when choosing a divorce attorney. Feel free to meet with more than one attorney and ask every attorney you meet plenty of questions. If the attorney has a problem with you asking questions or considering other options, that’s a red flag, and you should keep searching.

Make sure you understand your attorney’s experience, previous results, and fee structure. A good divorce attorney should have plenty of family law experience, a fair and considerate pricing structure, and a proven track record of achieving favorable results for their clients. You don’t have to take the attorney’s word for it, either; ask about client testimonials, check out online reviews, and ask around among friends and colleagues.

Finally, listen to your gut. If you get a bad vibe from an attorney or don’t like the way they conduct themselves, look elsewhere, even if the attorney’s credentials and experience seem strong. Your divorce lawyer doesn’t need to be your pal, but you will need to trust them and spend a fair amount of time with them. A divorce is stressful enough, so the last thing you need is a lawyer who talks down to you, makes you feel anxious or uncomfortable, or won’t give straight answers to your questions.

Considering a Divorce in Charlotte, North Carolina? Get in Touch With Myers Law Firm

If you’re considering filing for divorce or your spouse has filed divorce papers in Mecklenburg County, the experienced, compassionate attorneys at Myers Law Firm are here to help. We’re ready to answer your questions, listen to your story, and fight to protect your rights. To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or use our online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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What’s the Difference Between Separation and Divorce in North Carolina?

The misconception that separation and divorce are the same is all too common. In fact, separation and divorce are two different things, and they serve different purposes.

In this post, we’ll go over the differences between divorce and separation in North Carolina, and we’ll provide insight about how the two events affect you, your relationship, and your family.

Separation Is Part of the North Carolina Divorce Process

Every marriage is different, and so there’s no one right way to address differences, take time away, or end a marriage. While divorce is the way to end the legal bond between two people, separation is the first step that can lead to many possible results, including divorce, indefinite separation, or reconciliation.

Defining Separation

Some states have legal separation, which is a legal filing in which a married couple formalizes a separation without dissolving their marriage. In North Carolina, there’s no official document or any other formal process for a married couple to become “legally separated”. You and your ex are only separated if you’re living apart and at least one of you intends to leave the marriage permanently. If one of you moves out of the marital home with the intent of leaving the marriage, you can mark the date of separation on your calendar, and that’s enough.

North Carolina couples must remain separated continuously for one year before they can file for divorce. If you get back together and resume the marital relationship but then realize it was a mistake, you have to start the one-year clock over again. However, isolated “hook-ups” do not automatically restart the clock, even if you and your ex engaged in sexual intercourse.

Initiating a separation is simple, but it also opens the door for couples to begin dealing with the issues of custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. This is where the real conflict comes into play.

Defining Divorce

Separation in North Carolina requires couples to live separate and apart for one year. However, separation does not affect your marital status. Unless your marriage was not legally valid and you can get an annulment (which is rare in North Carolina), divorce is the only way to permanently dissolve your marriage and go back to being a single person for legal purposes.

Technically, filing for divorce is a simple process. All you need to do is file a lawsuit with the court and go through the process, which takes about 50–60 days after the other party is served with the lawsuit. In the end, you get a judgment of divorce, and your marriage is over.

Issues Related to Separation

Although obtaining the judgment of divorce is simple, all the issues that will come up as a result of the separation can get very complicated. These are the major legal issues that go along with dissolving a marriage: property division (equitable distribution), child custody, child support, and spousal support (alimony). The legal process of resolving these divorce-related claims is where all the conflict actually happens. In contentious cases, these issues may not be finalized until after the divorce is final.

Remember this, because it’s important: You do not have to be separated for one year in order to resolve claims for child custody, child support, spousal support, or property division. You can resolve them at any time during the one-year separation period, and you can even use a separation agreement to resolve them before you actually separate (so long as you separate within 30 days of creating the agreement). We’ll talk more about separation agreements in the following section.

To learn more about the process of filing for and finalizing an absolute divorce in North Carolina, read our blog article about this subject.

RELATED: How to Obtain an Absolute Divorce in Mecklenburg County

What is a Separation Agreement in North Carolina?

A separation agreement is a legal contract between you and your spouse that resolves the legal issues we discussed earlier (child custody, child support, property division, spousal support). There’s no law in North Carolina that requires you to get a separation agreement, and a court will not issue one for you. Only you and your spouse can create the agreement, and both of you need to be on board.

If you and your spouse can agree on the terms, your separation agreement can resolve any or all of the major legal issues surrounding your divorce. Your agreement won’t be valid unless both parties sign the document in front of a notary, who will notarize the signatures.

You can also put your agreement into a document called a consent order. This is an agreement that is signed by you and your ex and then by a judge. There are different reasons for doing a separation agreement versus a consent order, and we’ll talk about these differences in a future blog article.

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Do I Need a Divorce Attorney If I’m Separated?

If you’re separated or planning to leave the marriage, it’s never too early to start getting legal advice from an experienced family law attorney. Divorce can be a complicated, confusing, and stressful process, especially if you try to go through it without a lawyer.

Not only can a divorce lawyer take all the paperwork and legal preparation off your plate and make sure your rights are protected, but they will also attend to important details you may miss. As an example, some couples forget about various insurance accounts or retirement funds, which often name beneficiaries. If these accounts don’t get included in property division, it can be a mess to figure out what to do with them after a divorce finalizes.

Certain situations also demand the help of an attorney for the health and safety of the family. If you have a partner who is abusive or unstable, a lawyer can get the authorities involved and get court orders that protect you and your children.

No matter what your situation looks like, hiring a lawyer will most likely save you money in the long run unless you have a very simple, uncontested divorce. Make sure to choose an attorney who has experience handling divorce cases, and feel free to meet with multiple lawyers and search for someone who gives you confidence and makes you feel at ease. Your divorce may be a long process, and having the right advocate by your side can make all the difference.

Contact Myers Law Firm If You Need Help with a Divorce or Family Law Matter in Charlotte, North Carolina

At Myers Law Firm, we understand that the end of a marriage is never an easy time for either spouse, so we approach every case with compassion and understanding to search for solutions. While we excel at respectful negotiation and will work to find common ground with the other side, we are ready to stand up in court and fight for your rights with an aggressive approach if that’s what it takes.

The attorneys at Myers Law Firm have experience handling all of the major family law issues that surround the end of a marriage, including alimony, child custody, child support, and property division. We’re here if you need help. To get in touch with us, call our offices at 888-376-2889 or fill out our online contact form today.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Surviving Marital Separation: 6 Tips That Can Get You Through

For North Carolina couples, a 12-month period of marital separation must take place before either spouse can file for divorce. But not all separations end in divorce.

A marital separation can be a time of healing, introspection, and reconciliation. Separations can provide valuable time for couples to sort out their wants, needs, and individuality as they examine their relationship with their spouse (and often with themselves).

Even if a separation can have positive effects, that doesn’t mean separating is easy. Whether you end up filing for divorce or reconciling, a period of trial separation often sets off a rollercoaster ride of emotions and potential conflicts. If you’re experiencing a marital separation or facing the prospect of one, keep reading to learn some tips that can help you survive your separation.

Separating From Your Spouse? Here’s How to Make the Process Less Painful

Every situation is different, but we’ve found in years of family law practice that couples can take a few consistent steps to make their separations less painful and complicated.

Avoid Over-Sharing on Social Media

Keep the details of your separation to yourself. Avoid sharing too many details with friends, colleagues, or even family members and be especially cautious on social media. It’s healthy to find a support system, but use judgment while doing so. What you post on the internet is forever, and many people find that harsh words posted in the heat of the moment come back to haunt them later during the divorce process. Remember that anything you share on the internet can be used against you later during a court case, so it’s usually best to avoid posting about your separation at all.

Prioritize Emotional and Mental Health Over “Winning”

If your split is less than friendly, you may feel tempted to get back at your spouse, get revenge, or “win” the divorce. While feelings of hurt and even spite are normal, they shouldn’t be the focus of your separation.

Letting these feelings control your actions can backfire on multiple levels. Not only can you harm your case for divorce-related issues like child custody and child support, but giving in to anger and vengefulness can also hurt you on an emotional and psychological level. Try to focus on yourself during this time; prioritize your emotional health and well-being instead of seeing how much you can hurt your ex.

Practice Self-Care

It’s easy to get down and start feeling hopeless during a difficult time. Make sure to carve out time for yourself and acknowledge feelings of depression or anxiety rather than try to deny them. This is a good period of time to evaluate areas of your life that aren’t working and try to make positive changes. You may want to focus on exercise and fitness, get in touch with friends you haven’t made time for in a while, explore meditation, or take up a new hobby.

It may also help to keep a diary and write down what you’re experiencing, even if you’ve never been much of a writer. You may be surprised at what comes out, and it might give you insight on how to move forward toward the future you want.

Finally, try and settle on a daily schedule that includes productive activities and keeps you moving toward some goals. With all the change and uncertainty in your life, it’s easy to lose any sense of normalcy. Creating a routine can help you feel like you’re moving in a particular direction instead of just drifting without purpose.

Explore Therapy and Divorce Support Groups

No matter how long you’ve been married, a split is a major lifestyle change. Even if you were unhappily married, you were still used to seeing your ex-partner, and a sudden shift can leave you feeling disoriented and sad.

You’re far from the first person to experience these feelings during a separation. Connecting with people going through the same process can make it easier to cope and heal, and therapy or counseling can help you work through personal issues and pain. If you’re not sure where to start, Psychology Today hosts a search tool you can use to find divorce support groups in your area.

Audit Your Finances

Divorce can be an expensive process. If you and your spouse are separated, take this opportunity to audit your finances and look for ways to save. If that you do make your split permanent, you’ll need to replace shared items, find a new place to live, and potentially get your own essentials. Expenses you should plan for may include insurance policies, vehicles, and a phone plan. Keeping track of your expenses and cutting back on non-essential purchases is essential to prepare for an uncertain future.

Get Your Records in Order

Having your vital documents and records organized is never a bad idea, but it’s especially critical if you’ve separated from your spouse. Items you’ll need to gather include information on loans, credit card statements, pay stubs, employment history, healthcare, retirement information, and more.

If you have questions about what documents you should be collecting and organizing, or if you need help doing so, talk to an experienced family lawyer right away. If you have a will, power of attorney, or healthcare power of attorney that names your spouse as the executor or attorney-in-fact, you need to revise these documents.

Put Your Children’s Needs First

Divorce is never easy on kids. The COVID-19 pandemic has already created an anxious and unsettling environment for many children, so you’ll need to be extra mindful about how your separation affects your family.

When you and your spouse first separate, the number one thing to do is make sure you have a plan that prioritizes the needs and well-being of your kids. Decide how you’ll co-parent, implement a routine, and make sure to spend plenty of time with your children throughout the process. Do the best you can to keep your kids out of any conflicts with the other parent.

It’s also important to communicate with your children and explain to them what’s going on. Be as honest as you reasonably can based on your child’s age, developmental level, and temperament. However, you must keep them out of the conflict — and never bad-mouth the other parent to your kids! Talking bad about your ex in front of the kids is not only unfair but could hurt you during a court case if it comes out.

You’ll need to discuss your co-parenting plan with your partner, so try to be as level-headed and empathetic as you can. If you need help reaching an arrangement you both can live with, seek the advice of an experienced family law attorney.

RELATED: How to Co-Parent: 6 Tips for Success

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Experiencing a Separation or Dealing With Divorce in Charlotte? Contact Myers Law Firm Today

At Myers Law Firm, we have decades of experience helping clients in Charlotte and throughout Mecklenburg County find the best solutions for their families. If you need help with legal separation, divorce, or related family issues, get in touch with us. We can meet with you to discuss your options and a create a plan to protect your rights.

To schedule your initial consultation with an experienced family law attorney from the Myers Law Firm team, call us at (888) 376-2889 or use our quick and easy contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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What to Do When Your Spouse Serves Divorce Papers

If you’ve been served with divorce papers, you may be feeling upset or even overwhelmed. However, understanding some of the initial steps that you’ll need to take may help you clear your thoughts and plan for what’s ahead of you. In this article, we’ll explain what you should do in the days and weeks after you’ve been notified of divorce proceedings.

What Are “Divorce Papers,” Anyway?


Most adults understand the general idea of being “served with divorce papers,” but few people know exactly what those papers entail or what they mean from a legal standpoint. So what are divorce papers, exactly?

Divorce papers in North Carolina actually consist of two items: a summons and a complaint. The summons is a paper that lets the defendant (the person being served) know that they are being sued, and it also asserts the court’s power to hear and determine the case in question. In addition, in North Carolina, the summons states that you must respond to the complaint with your written answer within 30 days by serving the plaintiff or the plaintiff’s attorney and filing the answer with the Clerk of Court.

The complaint is the pleading that the other spouse filed to initiate the divorce process. (In many other states, this item is called a “petition for dissolution of marriage.”) This document includes most of the important information about the divorce filing, such as:

  • The names and the county and state of residence of both spouses
  • The date and place they were married
  • The names of any children of the marriage who are under 18
  • An acknowledgement that the petitioner or their spouse have lived in the state or county for a certain amount of time prior to the filing of the complaint (in North Carolina, either the plaintiff or defendant must have resided in the state for at least six months prior to the divorce action.)The claims that the plaintiff is asserting, which may include:
  • Absolute divorce (the parties must have been separated for more than one year);
  • Custody or visitation;
  • Equitable distribution (which is the same as property division);
  • Alimony/spousal support.

Note that in North Carolina, you must be separated for at least a year before you can file for divorce. However, you can still file a lawsuit for the other claims at the time of separation, or in some cases, before you separate. A lot of people use the term “divorce papers,” even if they have only been sued for custody, support, property division or alimony.

RELATED: How To Obtain An Absolute Divorce In Mecklenburg County

Like most legal documents, divorce papers are not necessarily designed to be user-friendly. Even though all of the critical information is there, it’s easy to miss things if you’re not an attorney, and you may find it difficult to get a full understanding of your legal situation just by reading over these papers. This is one reason why it’s important to contact an experienced family law attorney as soon as you’re served divorce papers.

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What to Do If You’ve Been Served

Being served with divorce papers can create a rollercoaster of emotions — especially if the filing is unexpected. However, it’s important to keep a clear head during this time, as the actions you take in the aftermath of a divorce filing can have a major impact on your legal case.

While you may feel tempted to contact your spouse after being notified of a divorce filing, you need to resist this urge at all costs. Instead, seek support from family and friends as you collect your thoughts and let the initial impact settle. Lashing out at your spouse or trying to make arrangements off the record can negatively impact your legal case and will only make things more difficult for you in the long run.

Likewise, talking badly about your spouse in front of children of the marriage is never a good idea, and you should never put your children in the middle of the dispute between you and your spouse. Such actions could affect your children negatively and impact your relationship with them. It will also cause the court to look unfavorably on you during court proceedings, and the problems this can create for your legal case will almost certainly make you regret it later.

Once you feel that you’ve collected your thoughts and come to terms with your initial feelings about the divorce, it’s time to take some practical steps to address your legal situation. At this time, you should:

  • Make note of the deadlines. If you’ve been served with divorce papers, the summons should tell you how many days you have to respond by filing your own papers with the court. In North Carolina, you will have 30 days to respond, and you can also petition for an extension that will grant you an additional 30 days.
  • Contact an experienced family law attorney right away. You may be tempted to represent yourself during a divorce in order to save money, and this might make sense if you have very little in the way of assets at stake in the divorce. However, representing yourself in cases where important assets and financial consequences are on the line — including property, inheritances, child support, and/or alimony — can prove extremely costly if you make a mistake.In addition, a contentious divorce that involves various types of assets can quickly create an overwhelming workload for a person who tries to represent themselves. This can take up large amounts of your time and leave you feeling overextended, which can both add to your stress and make it even more likely that you’ll make a mistake. Working with an attorney who has experience handling divorce cases is the best way to make sure that your case proceeds smoothly and that you meet all deadlines and filing requirements.
  • Start getting organized. The court will ask for a lot of information from you during the divorce process, so it’s a good idea to begin compiling and organizing your records as soon as possible after you receive notice of divorce proceedings. In addition, this is a good time to undertake financial preparations, such as eliminating joint financial accounts and moving your finances to personal accounts.

Your attorney will be your most important resource and ally during this preparation process, as they can tell you what information you’ll need and help you to gather it. Although an exhaustive list of documents you’ll need to give to your attorney would be very long, examples of some of important documentation generally includes:

  • Any documents that can establish your income and financial status, such as bank statements, retirement account statements, tax returns, credit card statements, loan documents, and any other paperwork that can show the court your assets and debts
  • Birth certificates, medical records and bills, and insurance cards for any children of the marriage
  • School and daycare records for any children of the marriage as well as any bills that demonstrate the costs associated with education or daycare
  • Any documentation that demonstrates your past and ongoing involvement in your children’s lives

Although it’s understandable to experience a wide range of emotions when you’re served with divorce papers, remember that this is a critical time in your legal case, so it’s important not to panic or act rashly. Instead, you need to contact an experienced family law attorney who can guide you through the upcoming process with a legal strategy that protects your rights and interests along with your children.

Contact Myers Law Firm If You’ve Been Served with Divorce Papers

At Myers Law Firm, we understand that the end of a marriage is one of the most difficult events that a person can experience, so we approach every family law case with empathy and understanding to look for common ground. While we pride ourselves on our negotiation skills and will work to reach a viable compromise with the other side, we are also prepared to stand up in court and fight for your rights aggressively whenever the situation calls for it.

The attorneys at Myers Law Firm have experience handling all of the major family law issues that surround the end of a marriage, including alimony, child custody, child support, property division, and divorce. We’re here if you need help. To get in touch with us, call our offices at 888-376-2889 or fill out our online contact form today.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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How to Co-Parent: 6 Tips for Success

Co-parenting after a divorce is rarely easy. Your entire outlook on parenting and routine must change, but that doesn’t mean you need to make your child’s well-being any less of a priority.

At Myers Law Firm, we have over 50 years of combined experience helping divorced and separated parents reach co-parenting arrangements and custody agreements that meet their family’s needs. In this blog article, we’ll share six tips you can use to create a successful co-parenting arrangement.

1. Prioritize the Child’s Well-Being

The number one goal of any successful co-parenting plan is to make sure your child or children feel supported and loved by both parents. Sometimes, this means deviating from the agreed-upon schedule and being flexible.

When the opportunity arises for your children to spend time with the other parent outside of their court-ordered schedule — at a concert or athletic event, for example, or when there are other spontaneous opportunities they would enjoy — don’t dismiss these opportunities just because they aren’t part of a pre-arranged schedule. Consider what your child wants and what would make them happiest.

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2. Show Up for The Kids

Successful co-parenting is about putting aside differences to show up, support your children, and solve challenges together. “Showing up” can mean attending meaningful events and life moments even though your ex will be there. You may not want to spend time with your ex, but your children probably understand this. When you make the effort anyway and don’t cause a scene with the other parent, it shows your children they are your first priority, and it will make them feel supported as they navigate life after the split.

3. Communicate With Your Ex

If you and your ex can’t communicate in a cordial and constructive way, you’ll struggle to make co-parenting work. Communication means talking with each other openly about issues and challenges involving your child, not venting whatever you’re feeling about the other parent. If you still have negative feelings or unresolved emotional issues with your ex, don’t air those grievances during co-parenting conversations. Work those issues out with friends, family, or a qualified therapist, and make co-parenting conversations about your children and what’s best for them.

Also note that when we say successful co-parents talk with each other, we mean directly: Kids should never act as the go-between between their parents. Let your children be children, and save your questions, concerns, and disagreements for private conversations between you and your ex. If your ex refuses to communicate or act reasonably, you may need to get an attorney involved.

4. Use Co-Parenting Tools

There are more apps and digital tools available than ever for separated and divorced parents raising children. Innovative digital tools like budget trackers, scheduling assistants, and conflict resolution apps can facilitate compromise, prevent confusion, and help both parents stay organized. With these digital tools keeping everyone on the same page, you and your ex can focus on being the best parents you can.

RELATED: Struggling With Co-Parenting? Get Help From These 8 Apps

5. Celebrate Milestones and Important Moments — Together

It’s not easy for children to adjust to having only one parent present for special moments. When something significant happens in your child’s life and the other parent isn’t a party to it, consider sharing the news with the other parent. Including them in the event or moment, even if it’s just via text or video call, keeps the focus on your children and makes these moments that much more memorable for the children.

6. Never Put Your Children in the Middle of a Dispute

If your divorce or separation involved pain, hurt feelings, or bad behavior, no one expects you to magically forget about all that. And if your ex is being unreasonable at any point during co-parenting, it’s okay to be angry at them.

However, co-parenting is most successful when you can insulate your children from conflicts between you and your ex, whether it’s a new issue or part of the problem that contributed to the split in the first place. You should never disparage or degrade your ex in front of your children, and you shouldn’t make your kids feel like they need to choose sides.

If your ex is refusing to co-parent reasonably or if they’re putting your kids at risk, you don’t have to put up with this behavior. You can get in touch with an experienced family law attorney who will protect your rights and help you resolve any aspects of co-parenting that aren’t serving your children’s best interests.

Contact Myers Law Firm for Help With Divorce and Related Legal Issues in Charlotte, North Carolina

We understand how challenging it can be to create a new normal as a separated parent. When co-parenting gets tough, the dedicated and compassionate team at Myers Law Firm is here to help. We can support you through challenging times and help you resolve legal issues like child custody and child support.

To schedule your initial consultation with an experienced family law attorney from the Myers Law Firm team, call us at (888) 376-2889 or fill out our easy and convenient online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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What Are the Status of Divorce Cases as of June 1, 2020 Due to COVID-19?

As our societies start to open back up after being pretty much shut down due to the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic, the courts are beginning to open as well. Courthouses and courtrooms are especially tricky to open up because they are high-traffic areas that thousands of people go through each day.

While you can file for divorce, including custody, child support, alimony, and property division during the coronavirus pandemic, the health crisis may affect the timeline of your case. In this blog article, we’ll provide an update about the current situation with family law courts in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, and explain what you should do if you want to proceed with filing your case.

The Status of North Carolina Family Law Courts During Coronavirus

As of June 1, family court hearings in Mecklenburg County are beginning to resume. The first cases that are being scheduled are ones that were already scheduled between March 13 and May 29 when most hearings were continued. Also, some motions are starting to be scheduled. Mostly, the courts are trying to handle these remotely via video conferencing.

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Uncontested Divorces Are Proceeding

Right now, you can still file for an uncontested divorce in North Carolina and get the divorce complaint served on the defendant (your spouse). This will start the process. Once you file, there is an initial 30-day waiting period for the defendant to file an answer. In an uncontested divorce, we do not expect an answer to be filed but must still wait for this 30-day period. This is always true, not just during coronavirus — so, if you’re confident you want to proceed with an absolute divorce, you may as well file now and take care of the 30-day waiting period. Once the 30-day period has expired, the case will be scheduled for hearing. You should not need to appear for the hearing. Although it may be slightly longer to get a hearing date, this process is resuming the way it was before the virus.

What About Family Law Issues Like Custody, Property Division, and Child Support?

As with absolute divorce, you can file claims for child custody, child support, and property division (equitable distribution), but there are still some delays in getting hearings. However, if you need to file, you can at least start the process. The courts are scheduling hearings on motions and temporary relief, such as temporary child support and post-separation support. Also, part of a property division case requires a number of pretrial procedures before you get to court and those are still proceeding remotely.

What About Agreements or Settlements?

You can always resolve your case with an agreement or settlement. If you do an agreement that does not involve a court filing, that agreement is a private contract between you and your spouse. This does not require anything from the court and you can resolve the issues. Even if you need a consent order, which is an agreement that is put into a court order, you can still get those handled with minimal delay.

RELATED ARTICLE: 4 Things You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce in North Carolina

Myers Law Firm: Helping Clients With Family Law Cases in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County

At Myers Law Firm, we’re here and helping our clients every day during the coronavirus crisis. You can contact us by email or telephone, and we can meet with you and handle your initial case evaluation through a phone call or video conference.

If you want to move forward with a divorce filing or a claim for child custody, child support, or property division, we can help and there’s no need to wait — contact us today. To get in touch, call our offices at (888)376-2889 or fill out the quick contact form on our website.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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4 Things You Should Know About No-Fault Divorce in North Carolina

Like all other states, North Carolina allows for no-fault divorces. However, no-fault doesn’t mean no requirements. Before filing for an absolute divorce in North Carolina, you should make sure you know the rules and the consequences. Keep reading to learn more.

What Is a No-Fault Divorce?

A no-fault divorce is a divorce where neither party has to allege and prove that the separation and divorce is the fault of the other spouse. While a no-fault divorce doesn’t require either spouse to provide any grounds for divorce, one of the spouses still has to file the lawsuit for absolute divorce.

What Is an Absolute Divorce?

“Absolute divorce” is a legal term that means the termination of a marriage along with all the rights and privileges that come with it. When most people use the word “divorce,” they’re thinking of an absolute divorce.

So why is it called absolute divorce? The answer is that there is actually another type of divorce, which is called “divorce from bed and board.” A divorce from bed and board doesn’t terminate a marriage; instead, it’s a type of court-ordered separation.

RELATED: Remember to Protect Your Online Privacy During a Divorce

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No Fault Doesn’t Mean No Consequences!

A no-fault absolute divorce only results in the termination of the marital relationship, including the special rights that come with marriage. However, an absolute divorce does not resolve any of the other issues that come with marital separation, such as spousal support (alimony) and equitable distribution (property division). There are only two ways to resolve those issues:

  1. Settle them in a separation agreement or court order before the divorce is granted; or
  2. File claims for those issues in court before the divorce is granted.

If you don’t file or resolve your claims for property division and spousal support at the time your absolute divorce is granted, then you lose the right to file those claims forever! If you have a divorce action pending and you haven’t filed your claims for equitable distribution and spousal support, please contact us immediately for help.

Note that absolute divorce also doesn’t resolve issues of child custody and child support. Those are separate legal issues that will require separate court proceedings.

To get an absolute divorce in North Carolina, you and your spouse will have to meet certain requirements. Here’s what you need to know.

1. You and Your Spouse Need to Be Separated for 12 Consecutive Months

North Carolina law has a separation requirement for an absolute divorce, and this requirement has two parts:

  1. One spouse must intend to leave the marital relationship
  2. You and your spouse must live separate and apart for 12 continuous (back-to-back) months

So, if you and your spouse separate once for six months, get back together for two, and then separate for another six months, you’ve only been separated for six continuous months. You would need to remain separated for six more months — without getting back together again — before you can file for an absolute divorce.

RELATED: Remember to Protect Your Online Privacy During a Divorce

2. You Don’t Need to File Paperwork for Separation

You don’t have to sign any legal separation papers to start the 12-month separation period. To begin the separation period, you only need to do two things:

  1. Start living separately from your spouse with the intent to leave the marital relationship
  2. Keep track of the date the separation happened

Living separately from your spouse does not mean living in different rooms in the same house. Separation requires separate residences. If you and your spouse see each other from time to time, that’s fine — as long as you don’t get back together or move in again. If you do, the 12-month requirement starts over.

3. At Least One Person Needs North Carolina Residency for 6 Months

Let’s say that as soon as you separate, your spouse decides they want to move to another state so they can get some space. It’s okay for one spouse to leave the state. However, you can’t both move away, because the law says that before you can file a divorce lawsuit, at least one of the spouses petitioning for divorce needs to have been a North Carolina resident for six months or more.

What if you and your spouse both already moved to other states? In that case, one of you will have to move back and establish residency for at least six months if you still want to obtain a no-fault absolute divorce in North Carolina.

 

4. Only One Spouse Has to File for Divorce

Many people think spouses have to file together for no-fault divorce, but that’s not true. Under North Carolina law, only spouse one needs to file a summons and complaint and start the divorce process. (“Complaint” is just a legal term for the document — it doesn’t mean you’re blaming your spouse or complaining about anything.) If you’re the one filing, you must “serve” your spouse with the divorce papers.

To serve the complaint, your spouse will need to accept service, which means they sign a form that acknowledges they received the papers and agrees they are the defendant. (Again, the term “defendant” sounds harsh, but it doesn’t mean either spouse is on trial like in a criminal case. The person filing the papers is the “plaintiff,” and the person being served is the “defendant” — it’s as simple as that.) If the other party will not accept service, you will need to either have a sheriff serve the papers or have them delivered by certified mail.

Once your spouse receives the complaint, they have 30 days to “answer” or respond. You must give your spouse the full 30 days, so don’t try to go forward with your case unless your spouse has responded to the complaint or 30 days have passed.

You don’t have to work with your spouse to file a complaint for divorce, but if you want your divorce to go smoothly, you should probably talk about it with your spouse before you file to give them a heads up. Even if you and your spouse have a cordial post-separation relationship, they probably won’t appreciate getting blindsided with a divorce filing.

RELATED: Settle Your North Carolina Divorce Peacefully With Mediation

Do I Need a Lawyer for a No-Fault Divorce?

No! Plenty of people file their own papers for divorce. However, working with a lawyer has benefits. When you have an experienced divorce attorney handle your no-fault divorce, you can feel confident everything will be handled correctly. Your lawyer should also take care of preparing the paperwork and getting it filed at the courthouse, which saves you time, work, and stress.

Although you don’t need a lawyer to file for divorce, the other legal issues that tend to come with divorce are a different story. If your divorce involves any related issues, like spousal support or property division, then you should definitely get advice from an attorney about the law and your options before your divorce is finalized. Remember what we said earlier, because it’s very important: if your absolute divorce goes through and you haven’t filed claims for spousal support or property division, then you’ll lose your right to file those claims forever.

 

Finding a Lawyer for Your No-Fault Divorce in North Carolina

If you need help with a no-fault divorce or any other family law matter in the Charlotte area, the team at Myers Law Firm is here to help. We’ll treat you with compassion and keep you updated throughout the legal process so you always know what comes next. And while we work hard to negotiate and find common ground, we’ll never hesitate to stand up and fight for you with aggressive strategies if that’s what the situation calls for.

To schedule your initial consultation with one of our experienced family law attorneys call us at 888-376-2889 or fill out our quick and convenient online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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What’s the Difference Between Joint Custody and Shared Custody?

In divorces where children are involved, the custody arrangement can be one of the hardest matters to settle. If both parents want to remain involved in a child’s life and the court has no important reasons to keep either parent away, then you can expect that your custody arrangement will involve joint physical and legal custody.

But what about shared custody? Many people use the terms joint custody and shared custody without knowing exactly what these terms mean. If you’re facing a custody decision in a North Carolina divorce and you want to make the best possible arrangement for your child, then you’ll need to understand the differences.

Physical Custody vs. Legal Custody

In any discussion about child custody, it’s important to remember that there are actually two different types of custody.

Physical custody involves looking after a child. This type of custody deals with the child’s physical location and who they are with at the given moment. A party who has physical custody can make minor day-to-day decisions for the child.

Legal custody is the right and responsibility to make long-term decisions for a child’s well-being. North Carolina statutes don’t define the term “legal custody,” so a judge or the parties involved in an arrangement can define what it means and what may be in a child’s best interests. The rights covered by legal custody can include the right to make important decisions about education, health care, and activities outside school, like sports and clubs.

RELATED: 7 Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Child Custody Case

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What Is Joint Custody?

When people say “joint custody,” they usually mean joint legal custody. A joint legal custody arrangement is based around shared parenting, which means both parents share equal decision-making responsibilities. One parent can’t make major changes or important life decisions for the child unless the other parent says it’s okay. Both parents must agree on important matters like education, health care, and activities outside school.

To make a joint custody arrangement work, both you and your ex will have to be ready to compromise and cooperate. Each parent in a joint custody arrangement should be able to trust that the other parent won’t make one-sided decisions.

Judges Usually Won’t Grant Joint Custody in Contested Hearings

Judges must consider the best interests of the child when creating a child custody order. For most judges, this means (among other things) not bringing the child back to court any more than is necessary.

In a contested custody case, the judge already knows the parents can’t work together and compromise on a child custody agreement — if they could, they wouldn’t be going through a trial and asking the judge to decide. So, to reduce the need for further hearings, the judge in a contested hearing may order that one parent has final decision-making authority on all decisions. Or, the judge can give authority to one parent for some issues and the other parent for other issues.

What About Shared Custody?

When people say “shared custody” they’re usually talking about joint physical custody. In a joint physical custody arrangement, both parents get to spend time with the child. The alternative is sole physical custody, which involves the child being with one parent almost all the time while the other parent gets very little time. When one parent has sole custody, the other parent may have to make child support payments.

Most people think of joint physical custody as equal time or something close to equal, but it doesn’t have to be. In a lot of cases, the child will mostly live with one parent (the “custodial parent”) while the other parent has visitation rights. However, it’s becoming more common for courts to create true “shared” custody arrangements where the child lives with both parents equally.

In a joint physical custody arrangement, parents must work out the custody schedule based on their housing and jobs as well as the child’s needs and the location of the child’s school. Because joint physical custody requires a lot of travel and communication from both parents, this type of custody works best when both parents live and work in the same area.

Legal custody and physical custody are separate issues, so both parents can share physical custody while only one parent has legal custody. If one parent has sole legal custody of the child, then that parent will make final decisions about education, healthcare, and activities outside of school.

RELATED: What You Need to Know About North Carolina Child Support

Myers Law Firm: Experienced Family Law Attorneys for Clients in Mecklenburg County

If you’re fighting for custody in the Charlotte area or just trying to understand your rights and options so you can do what’s best for your child, contact Myers Law Firm for help today. An experienced family law attorney from our team will meet with you to answer your questions, help you understand your options, and create a plan for what comes next.

To schedule your first consultation today, please call 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out our quick online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Eight Resolutions Might Foster a Healthier Divorce and Improve Relations with Your Former Partner

A new year brings out the idealist in many of us — hoping and dreaming of doing things differently (or better, somehow) over the next 12 months. But the prospect of a new year can also focus our attention on big things that need to change. Perhaps because of this, the divorce rate spikes every January. If a relationship is no longer working, a new year can represent the chance for a fresh start.

If you or your partner recently filed for divorce (or are headed in that direction), consider making some New Year’s resolutions this year that focus on keeping the peace. These eight resolutions might help foster a healthier divorce and improve relations with your former partner.

1. Organize Your Finances

One of the best things you can do before you and your partner start negotiating finances is to get organized. Collect your most recent tax returns, pay stubs, credit card statements, mortgage information, retirement accounts, car loan statements, and any other financial records you might need in order to understand your shared assets and debt.

If you don’t already do this, put together a loose budget to assess your current monthly expenses as a joint household. Then, do some research on what your post-divorce living expenses might look like. The more organized and educated you are regarding your financial situation, the better you’ll be able to negotiate an equitable divorce.

2. Write it Down

Remembering everything you want to say during an emotional or heated conversation can be difficult. So you should resolve to make a pen and paper (or computer and keyboard) your best friend. As you think about the things you want to discuss with your partner, write it down. When it comes time to meet with them and your mediator or lawyer, this list will ensure you stay on topic and don’t miss anything you wanted to talk about. Writing these items down can also help remove emotion from the conversation. (You might want to handle some details via email if you find this to be the case.) And when you’re ready to come to specific decisions on things like parenting or financial details, continue writing things down in order to hold both sides accountable.

3. Expect Your Relationship to Change

For the sake of any sort of relationship with your partner in the future, acknowledge that divorce will change both of you. Moving forward, you’ll be living two separate lives as separate individuals with different needs. You might need to set boundaries to keep yourself from falling into old habits and expectations.

4. Expect Your Life to Change

Divorce comes with a lot of upheaval — and not just to personal relationships. Your living situation will change; your financial situation will change; and your responsibilities will change. The sooner you come to terms with this, the better. Try to keep resentment out of it. Even if you weren’t the one who initiated this change, the transition will be healthier if you can avoid finger-pointing. Focus on the future and on making good decisions that will set you up well for the next phase in life.

5. Be a Team in Front of the Kids

As hard as it will be, your children should hear about the divorce from their parents together at the same time. Discuss the key messages with your partner ahead of time and present a united and supportive front during the conversation. It’s going to be one of the most important discussions you’ll have as a family, and it’s important for your kids to know their parents still love them. For the sake of future family harmony, stick to the same key messages in the future — even (and especially) when you’re alone with your kids.

6. Rise Above

Divorce might take a lot from you, but it can only take your integrity if you let it. No matter how wronged you may feel, commit to being the better person. Stay away from social media pettiness. Save the majority of your venting for your therapist. Take deep breaths. Unless there’s an emergency or time-sensitive issue, follow the 24-hour rule: wait 24 hours before responding to emails or texts that could lead to arguments. This allows you to think things through instead of escalating the dituation with a heat-of-the-moment response. Avoid gossiping. And never badmouth your partner to your kids — even if your partner doesn’t afford you the same courtesy.

7. Take Care of Yourself

It can be easy to overlook your mental health during a divorce, but don’t lose sight of who you are in this process. A good therapist can help you navigate the pain, fear, and anger you’re likely feeling. If you’re not already part of a support group relative to your specific circumstances, you should consider seeking one out. Resolve to do something at least once each week that is just for you, like a new hobby or some exercise to boost endorphins. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to lean on your family and friends for extra support. It can be reassuring to know you’re not alone.

8. Keep Others Out of It

Your divorce proceedings should involve your original nuclear family and only those adults and children. If the divorce is happening because of another individual, or if a new significant other enters the picture during the process, that person’s only role in the divorce should be to observe. All negotiations and decisions made during the divorce should be done with the best interests of the nuclear family in mind and not be influenced by a third-party opinion.

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Myers Law Firm: Experienced North Carolina Divorce Attorneys

If you find yourself in need of divorce-related legal help — such as child custody, child support, or separation of assets — the experienced team at Myers Law is here to help. Our divorce attorneys have extensive experience handling property division cases and custody battles, and we’re ready to advocate for you if you need us.

To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us online by completing this brief form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Six Tips for Healthy Holiday Co-Parenting

The holidays can be a stressful time for just about anyone, with all of the special events, shopping, family obligations, performances, and crazy schedules to juggle. But if you’re a separated or divorced parent, worrying about child custody and co-parenting over the holidays adds another level of stress. Now you have to navigate separate household schedules, extended family expectations, any lingering tensions, and both parents’ desire to spend as much time with your children as possible.

The thing is, your kids deserve happy, low-stress holidays surrounded by people who love them and want the best for them. No matter what else you and your co-parent may disagree on, you’re likely on the same page here. To help you keep that big picture in mind, here are six tips for healthy holiday co-parenting that can help reduce stress for both you and your children.

1. Make a Holiday Co-Parenting Plan

Your child custody agreement should contain a holiday schedule. This will make your planning easier since you’ve already decided how you’ll share the holidays. However, what worked when your child was six years old may no longer make sense when they’re sixteen. If you need to revise your holiday parenting plan, consult with a lawyer in advance. An attorney may be able to help you and your child’s other parent modify the schedule.

If you don’t already have a plan in place for your children’s holiday schedule and their time off from school, the best option is to sit down with your co-parent and build one together — if you can communicate effectively with the other parent. Don’t assume that just because you have your kids every Wednesday, and Christmas this year falls on a Wednesday, that you will be with the kids on Christmas Day. If you need help or reach an impasse, contact your family law attorney.

Remember that when you’re trying to get an agreement on custody, you’ll have to make compromises. Accept that you won’t get everything you want. Do your best to coordinate celebrations with your extended families, talk about any trips you want to take so your co-parent is on the same page, and try to make sure that you both have quality time with the kids. And remember, you can celebrate a holiday on whatever day you like — no matter what the calendar says.

2. Start New Family Traditions

After a separation, you may want to hang on to old traditions to try to recreate past happiness. But focusing on things you used to do may highlight the fact that your family isn’t the same anymore. If your kids will be sad that Dad isn’t there to set up the train set or Mom isn’t there to read the annual holiday bedtime story, then it’s time to start new traditions.

Perhaps you can introduce a tradition from your childhood, dig out your great-grandmother’s sugar cookie recipe, or establish an annual “movie marathon day” where no one gets out of their PJs. Whatever you do, keep the focus on being together and finding something that your new family unit can look forward to every year.

RELATED: How Should I Handle Visitation When My Child Doesn’t Want to Go?

3. Acknowledge That Things Are Different

Because many holiday celebrations are structured around time with families, they may trigger unexpected feelings after a separation or divorce. Your children may act out, or you may find yourself feeling lost— especially if this is your first holiday season as two separate families. The truth is that change is difficult, and holiday events can highlight the fact that nothing will ever be the same.

As you come to terms with these changes, you should acknowledge that reality with your children and validate everyone’s emotions. It’s also important to not only remain civil with your co-parent, but also to communicate with them about how your children are handling this change and working through their grief. This way, you will both be on the same page if the extra holiday stress causes tensions to rise.

4. Don’t Try to Buy Your Way to Love

A lot of recently separated parents try to overcompensate by buying lots of presents for their kids or blowing their budget on something expensive. But showering kids with big-ticket items isn’t going to change the fact that their parents aren’t together anymore. It can also lead to resentment or anger from your co-parent if your gift-giving habits are consistently over the top. Instead, try to coordinate gifts with your co-parent and agree on a budget well before the holidays. Having a plan in place can help keep “gift competition” at bay and also reduce the possibility of duplicate gifts.

5. Be Flexible During the Holidays

Not everything will be “fair” when co-parenting around the holidays. You’re not going to get everything you want when it comes to time with your kids, and neither is your co-parent. But being flexible and willing to make compromises where necessary is an act of goodwill that can make things much more pleasant for everyone in the long run.

It’s also good behavior to model for your children. So, for example, if your co-parent’s family celebrates Hanukkah, but you don’t, consider an agreement where your kids will spend every Hanukkah with that side of the family regardless of what you have going on. If your child is sick on the day they were going to celebrate Thanksgiving with your co-parent, be open to helping them find another time that works for everyone, even if that happens to be one of “your” days with the kids.

RELATED: Use These 5 Tips to Create a Parenting Plan That Works

6. Practice Self-Care

Parents who take care of themselves both mentally and physically are better able to take care of their children. This is doubly true for those of you trying to peacefully co-parent during the holidays. To keep stress to a minimum while managing everyone’s busy holiday schedules, try to get enough sleep, eat well, and protect your personal downtime.

Be intentional about spending quality time with friends and family, especially when your kids are with their co-parent. And if you feel conflict or stress beginning to escalate beyond what you feel you can manage, don’t hesitate to seek out help from a third party, such as a therapist, mediator, or family lawyer.

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Myers Law Firm: Experienced Family Law and Custody Attorneys

At Myers Law Firm, we are committed to providing the highest degree of personal service to our clients as they navigate through difficult periods in their lives. If you are facing child custody complications during the holidays, our experienced and compassionate attorneys can serve as a source of support or guidance—both in and outside of the courtroom. We will answer your questions and work with you every step of the way.

To schedule a consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Medical Care Decisions and Divorce

Most people who receive vaccines are underage children who rely on their parents to make medical decisions for them. When parents disagree on whether to vaccinate their child, frustration and arguments can follow. And when a vaccination argument gets wrapped up in a divorce and all the other related legal complications, it can make it very hard for parents to find common ground.

So, what happens when separated or divorced parents can’t agree about essential medical care decisions such as immunizations? In this article, we’ll talk about how courts treat these disagreements and give an overview of your rights and options.

North Carolina Laws Regarding Vaccines

You may have noticed news about vaccinations (or the lack of them) hitting closer to home over the past year. In November 2018, a school in Buncombe County made national news when at least 36 students became infected with chickenpox. As reported by The Daily Tar Heel, this was one of the worst outbreaks in North Carolina since 1995. The outbreak occurred at a private school with one of the highest religious exemption rates for vaccinations in the state.

Stories like this may make you wonder what North Carolina law has to say about vaccines. Before a vaccination dispute with your ex-partner or divorced spouse escalates to the courts, it’s important to understand state law and how courts may apply the law in your case.

According to North Carolina law, children may not attend school (whether public, private or religious) or a childcare facility unless they have received all immunizations appropriate for their age. However, state law allows for two types of exemptions from the vaccine requirement:

    • Medical exemption

      If a doctor who is licensed to practice in North Carolina certifies that the required vaccines could harm the child based on certain known and accepted medical factors, then the child isn’t required to receive the vaccines for as long as the relevant medical factors continue. To get the exemption for the child, the doctor must fill out a specific form from the Department of Health and Human Services.

    • Religious exemption

      Parents whose deeply held religious beliefs conflict with the vaccination requirements can’t be forced to vaccinate their children. No official form exists for requesting religious exemptions in North Carolina. To claim a religious exemption, the parent requesting the exemption for their child must write a statement explaining their religious objection to immunizations, including the name and date of birth of the child. Then, the parent must provide this statement to any schools, camps, or childcare facilities that the child attends. The statement doesn’t need to be signed by a religious leader, notarized, drafted by a lawyer, or reviewed by any authority.

Our state does not allow for any exceptions to vaccination requirements based on personal or philosophical beliefs. So, parents who hold anti-vaccination views that aren’t based on religious convictions cannot receive an exemption for their child based on those beliefs.

RELATED BLOG ARTICLE: Can I Move Away With My Child During a Custody Case?

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How Do N.C. Courts Resolve Vaccination Disagreements?

So, what do North Carolina courts do when separated or divorced parents disagree over vaccinations and can’t resolve the issue on their own? Several different paths are possible, but in general, the judge must always make their decision based on the child’s best interests. How the process plays out will depend on your custody status.

  • If you have sole legal custody of your child, you’ll have the final say on vaccinations. However, the child’s other parent could petition the court to modify the custody order if they strongly disagree with your decision. The likelihood of the other parent preventing your decision in this scenario depends on the history of the case and why you ended up with sole legal custody to begin with.
  • If you share joint legal custody of your child and can’t come to an agreement with the other parent, you have three options:
    • One option is to go to the judge. Judges don’t like making these kinds of decisions, but in some cases, it’s the only option. The judge will have to determine what would serve the best interests of the child, which may require input from the child’s pediatrician.
    • A second option is to attempt mediation. This would still require you and the other parent to reach an agreement. Although it might seem like there’s no room for compromise at first, you may be able to find a middle ground. For example, you might agree to a vaccination schedule that’s spread out over time compared to the traditional administration schedule.
    • A third option is to go to binding arbitration. In an arbitration proceeding, a qualified family lawyer hears the evidence and reaches a decision much as the judge would do. This option is usually the quickest of the three, but you and the other parent will be responsible paying the costs.

If your child is older, the judge may ask the child whether they want to receive vaccinations and take their answer into account. Even if the judge does talk to your child, the child’s position is only one factor among many the judge will consider. There’s no set age for when a judge will talk to a child, but the judge must determine that the child is old enough to understand the nature of the decision. The older the child, the more weight the judge will give to their input.

No matter how much you want to avoid going to court, there are some areas where you may feel you can’t compromise, and vaccinations may be one of them. If the other parent wants to take a path with your child’s medical treatment that you believe places your child in harm’s way, then you may have to draw the line and fight. If the disagreement reaches this point, then you should contact a family law attorney who can fight aggressively in court to protect your child.

Myers Law Firm: Protecting Parents’ Rights in Charlotte, North Carolina

If you and the other parent can’t come to an agreement regarding vaccinations or you have concerns about your child’s custody order when it comes to vaccines, our experienced family law team at Myers Law Firm is here help. We’re committed to protecting your rights and serving the best interests of your child.

To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us online using our online contact form.

References

N.C. exemptions. (n.d.). North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.immunize.nc.gov/schools/ncexemptions.htm

N.C. immunization requirements. (n.d.). North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.immunize.nc.gov/family/nc_immnz_requirements.htm

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Pets and Property Division

Although many people consider their pets to be part of the family, in the eyes of the law, your furry friend is either property or an asset. So, like all other possessions in a divorce, ownership of your dog, cat, rabbit, or other domestic animal is included in the property division negotiation.

You can try to reach a mutual pet custody agreement with your spouse similar to a child custody arrangement. If you can’t decide what to do, however, the judge in your case will consider several factors to determine who gets the animal.

Marital and Separate Property: When Was the Pet Adopted?

Since domestic animals are considered property and not children, the first factor in determining who gets custody is whether it was acquired during or before the marriage. Unlike child custody cases, pets adopted before a marriage are considered the sole property of the individual who purchased them. This is called separate property, and a judge will almost always award possession of the animal to the person who bought it and not consider the animal in the division of marital assets.

On the other hand, an animal adopted during your marriage is marital property, so determining who gets the animal becomes a bit more complicated. Though most courts still consider pets property, precedents have been set that apply considerations similar to child custody cases. When determining who gets the animal, a judge may choose to look at factors such as:

  • The current primary caregiver
  • Bonds between the pet and one owner
  • Ability to best care for the animal

RELATED ARTICLE: 5 Common Questions About Property Division During A Divorce

Asset Division: Weighing the Pet’s Value Against Other Property

Even if the animal is given to one owner over the other based on the factors above, the court will still consider the animal property. The owner who is not granted custody will receive something of equal value. In other words, in asset division, the animal is assigned a monetary value and weighed against other martial property to be divided by the divorcing couple. The emotional value of the animal will not be factored into the equation.

In the eyes of the divorce court, a purebred animal is worth more than a mixed breed animal adopted from a shelter. If you have a purebred show animal and wish to receive possession of the animal in your divorce, be prepared for the court to assign a monetary value to the animal and for that value to be offset by other assets going to your spouse.

Because most pets have much more than a monetary value to both parties, you don’t want the judge deciding who gets possession based solely on a dollar figure. This is one of the major reasons most couples seek to solve their pet possession issues outside of court.

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Exceptions and Atypical Circumstances

Most of the time, ownership of a pet will be decided based on the considerations mentioned above. However, there are a few exceptions and atypical circumstances that might affect who gets the animal in your divorce.

Domestic Violence

If domestic violence is involved in the situation and one of the parties files a domestic violence lawsuit, a North Carolina judge has the right to grant the victim full custody of the animal.

Emotional Support or Service Animals

If the animal is registered as the emotional support companion or a service animal for one of the spouses, a judge is very unlikely to grant the animal to the other spouse.

Gifts: The Animal Belongs to One Person Specifically

One detail included in separate property during a divorce is that gifts or inheritance belonging to one spouse is considered separate property, even if was acquired during the marriage. While it is unlikely a pet would be inherited, if the animal was a gift to one spouse in particular, it’s separate property.

Children

When child custody is involved in the divorce, the parent who receives sole or primary custody of the child will often also receive possession of the pet. This is especially true if the child is bonded to the pet. If child custody is shared and the child is uniquely attached to the pet, the judge may consider whether the pet should follow the child during their visitation schedule.

Spouses Can Create Pet Custody Agreements

If you and your spouse both want custody of the animal and choose to settle the issue between yourselves rather than in court, you can sign a pet custody agreement. Like a child custody agreement, you will decide and agree upon aspects of the animal’s life — including who gets the animal on what days, how bills and vet visits will be handled, and the type of food or medication the animal receives.

Like child custody, pet custody agreements are legally binding, and a judge can enforce the visitation schedule and other agreed-upon terms. Spouses have complete freedom in writing a pet custody agreement, which is why it’s best for divorcing couples to attempt an agreement before leaving the fate of their pet to the court.

Call Myers Law Firm if You Need Help With Property Division in Charlotte, North Carolina

Are you and your spouse going to court over custody of your pet or looking for help drafting a pet custody agreement that covers all the bases? Myers Law Firm is here to help. Our divorce attorneys have experience handling property division cases and custody battles throughout Mecklenburg County, and we’ll fight to get the best outcome for you and your pet.

Please contact our attorneys by calling 888-376-2889 or completing this brief online form to schedule your free consultation today.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Same-Sex Marriage and Divorce

Same-sex marriages have been legal in all 50 states for over four years. Unfortunately, having your same-sex marriage recognized as legal doesn’t always translate to receiving equal or fair treatment, and some same-sex couples are running into unique problems while seeking a divorce. The main point of contention: how to determine when the marriage began.

Same-sex marriages and domestic partnerships first started becoming legal at the turn of the 21st century but weren’t made universally legal in the United States until 2015. Many same-sex couples lived in domestic partnerships, cohabitating arrangements, or marriages that took place in other states before their state began recognizing and performing same-sex marriages.

While same-sex couples can and do get divorced, many are discovering that there are complications they didn’t foresee. Keep reading to learn more about some of the difficulties and considerations that same-sex couples may face during a divorce.

Domestic Partnerships and Civil Unions

Many same-sex couples entered into a domestic partnership or civil union because they were unable to marry, and these legal partnerships provided some of the state benefits of being married. When same-sex marriages became legal, some states automatically converted civil unions into marriages, but others didn’t. The result is that if you were married while you still had a domestic partnership or civil union, you are in two legally binding relationships and will need to dissolve both.

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Alimony

In a North Carolina divorce, alimony (which is technically called postseparation support when it’s temporary and spousal support when it’s long-term) is financial support paid by a supporting spouse to a dependent spouse after separation. One of the factors a judge will look at when ruling on alimony is the length of the marriage.

For heterosexual couples, determining when a marriage began is easy. In North Carolina, however, same-sex marriage wasn’t legal until 2014, which complicates things for same-sex couples who got married out of state before 2014 but are now trying to get a divorce.

To put this issue in perspective, Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriage 10 years before North Carolina did. If a couple was married in Massachusetts and has since moved to North Carolina, a North Carolina judge should go back to the date of the actual marriage in Massachusetts. The United States Supreme Court decision that declared prohibitions against same-sex marriage invalid made all marriages valid.

However, if you had a domestic partnership or civil union, that may not qualify for the same status as a marriage. In that instance, you may not receive credit for the time before you were officially married.

RELATED ARTICLE: What North Carolina Same-Sex Couples Need To Know About Family Law

Division of Property

What counts as marriage also has a significant effect on the division of property in a divorce. Under North Carolina law, the accumulation of marital property begins on the date of marriage.

That raises the question: does property bought or obtained during a domestic partnership or civil union get divided equally as well? The answer is probably not unless the laws of the state later made the union a marriage. But what if the couple was in a domestic partnership at the time and later got married when it became legal? In this scenario, the court will most likely use the date of marriage as the starting point for determining what’s marital property and what isn’t.

Child Custody

Child custody issues in same-sex divorces can be especially complicated since North Carolina law has not kept up with the realities of potential issues involving married or unmarried same-sex couples.

Unless both partners have legally adopted the child, only one parent may be the natural parent or legal parent of a child under North Carolina law. If only one parent is the natural or legal parent, the other parent may have to proceed as a third party and seek custody by showing that the natural or legal parent has acted inconsistently with their constitutionally protected rights and obligations. This is a complicated area of the law, and you should speak with an experienced family law attorney about your rights if you find yourself in this situation.

RELATED ARTICLE: Custody Battles May Play Out Differently for Same-Sex Couples in North Carolina

Contact Myers Law for Help With Your Divorce in Charlotte, North Carolina

At Myers Law, we’ve handled same-sex divorce and custody cases for clients in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County, and we’re ready to advocate for you if you need us. We can fight back on your behalf against unfair court rulings and help you navigate the complications that North Carolina law can cause for same-sex spouses and parents.

If you have concerns about how a court might handle your same-sex divorce, get in touch with us today. Call us at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or complete our quick and easy online contact form to schedule your initial consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Divorce Book Recommendations

Everyone processes stress and grief differently. When going through a rough divorce, talking to friends and family or seeking professional advice can be a huge help. But for those who enjoy sitting down and relaxing with a good book, reading can be another effective coping strategy.

In this article, we recommend six books that provide empathy, advice, and humor to help you get through your divorce.

Myers Law Firm receives no financial compensation for recommending these books, and the opinions and views expressed in the books listed do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of Myers Law Firm. For legal advice about your divorce, please contact us or read some of the other resources on our blog.

True Stories From People Who Understand

For some, one of the best way to cope with the turmoil of divorce is by reading memoirs written by people who have been through a similar journey. The first two books on our list are true stories from people just like you who provide inspiration and advice during this difficult time.

  • Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimist’s Journey Through the Hell of Divorce

This memoir by Stacy Morrison is an emotional telling of her divorce experience as a working mom in a high-pressure job in New York. Falling Apart in One Piece is an honest tale of loss, love, and forgiveness. Although angled more toward women in heterosexual divorce situations, Morrison’s story could inspire anyone going through the divorce process.

  • Falling Forward: A Man’s Memoir of Divorce

While most divorce memoirs are written by women, in Falling Forward by Chris Easterly, readers from both sexes get rare insight into a divorce from a man’s perspective. This memoir follows Easterly through his wife’s affair, their divorce, and his healing process.

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The Nitty-Gritty Divorce Self-Help Books

If step-by-step self-help books are more your thing, these two should be at the top of your list. And if you need more information about the divorce process in North Carolina, check out these FAQs.

  • Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

    Getting Past Your Breakup by Susan Elliot is a true nitty-gritty self-help book. If you prefer a more analytical and strategic approach to working through divorce rather than a purely emotional, faith-based approach, Elliot’s advice style should be right up your alley.

  • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After

    Katherine Thomas’ book, Conscious Uncoupling, provides more emotionally charged advice to empower readers. This book is written not only for people going through a divorce but also provides advice that could apply to any relationship.

Divorce Tales for When You Just Need a Laugh

Divorces are full of turmoil. Between the legal and financial aspects of your divorce and emotional talks with friends and family, sometimes you just want to read something a little lighthearted. If you need to take a break from true stories and self-help books, these two stories of divorce and love can help put a smile on your face.

  • Eat, Pray, Love

    The classic favorite, Eat, Pray, Love, is the mostly true account of author Elizabeth Gilbert’s divorce. While her radical approach to divorce is not to be construed as advice or a healthy way to deal with your divorce, this tale of her emotional and literal journey can serve as needed inspiration and humor during your divorce.

  • Heartburn

    Nora Ephron takes the ridiculous even further in her book, Heartburn. This story about fictional character Rachel and her cheating ex-husband, Mark, is light and full of comedy but may not be for everyone at all stages of divorce.
    As previously mentioned, these two books are intended for recreational reading only and not to be taken as suggestions for handling your divorce. If you are looking for more advice, please read this article on healthy ways to deal with the stress of divorce.

Myers Law Firm: Compassionate, Dedicated Divorce Attorneys for Clients in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County

Reading can be an excellent resource for helping you cope with the turmoil of your divorce, but if you need help with the legal aspects of your divorce, please give Myers Law Firm a call. Our skilled and experienced divorce attorneys can help you handle the legal aspects of your divorce and will work with you every step of the way.

Please contact us today by calling (888) 376-ATTY or completing this brief form to schedule your free consultation.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Online Accounts During Divorce

A divorce can take an emotional and financial toll, regardless of who initiated the separation in the first place. And while it’s only natural and healthy to seek advice and emotional support during your divorce, it’s important to only do so privately with friends and family whom you can trust not to betray any sensitive information to your spouse — and even with them, you need to be careful.

Your online accounts contain all sorts of information that could be potentially used against you during divorce proceedings, which is why preventing your spouse from making unwanted intrusions into your sensitive online information is critical during a difficult divorce. And it’s also not unheard of for an angry, vindictive spouse to resort to identity theft to try and punish their ex.

Speak with an experienced divorce attorney for help maintaining the integrity of your online accounts, or continue reading for some helpful tips to get you started.

Change Your Passwords and Settings to Protect Your Online Privacy and Set Up Two-Step Verification

Ensuring all your sensitive digital information stays secure from your spouse can be a daunting task. An experienced divorce attorney can help you determine which passwords, logins, and settings need to be changed and updated, but you can start by looking at these key areas.

  • Communication and Location Services

One of your first priorities should be ensuring that your spouse cannot see communications like emails and text messages. At a minimum, you need to change the passwords for any email accounts and change the unlock codes for your phone and other devices.
Another major factor to consider is your spouse’s access to location services. Some people have apps for their phone or vehicle that allow certain people access to their current location. Some of these apps have seemingly innocuous functions, like helping you find a misplaced phone or laptop. However, just like the social media tracking services mentioned below, anything and everything that can be used to track your current or previous locations (including GPS logs in your car), needs to be disabled if possible.

  • Financial Logins

You’ll need to ask your attorney about how to handle shared bank accounts during a divorce, but there are a few other finance-related items that you can look at on your own. These include PayPal and other cash-sharing apps, your personal online banking login, and any long-term financial planning services, all of which you should secure with new passwords and security questions.

  • Social Media Accounts

Make sure to change your social media passwords so that your spouse cannot access your accounts and post as you. Besides that first step, here are some extra security measures and tips that can help you maintain your privacy on social media sites like Facebook.

First, make it more difficult for your spouse to view your posts by unfriending them and anyone who might help them view your profile. Then, change all your account privacy settings so only friends can view your content. However, understand that this doesn’t mean your social media posts can’t be used against you; your spouse’s attorney may still be able to access them and present them in court.

Because social media posts are never truly private, your best option is to not post at all. At the very least, do not post anything about the divorce, what you are doing, or where you have been. You never know how your spouse’s lawyer may try and manipulate the harmless post of the pasta you ordered last night or your fun night out with friends into something they can use against you.

Second, disable all location tracking services. Some social media accounts have options to let friends access your current location. Even if you trust your friends, you need to turn these trackers off.

RELATED ARTICLE: Yes, Your Facebook Posts Can Affect Your Divorce Case

  • Shared Services and Storage

Not only could your spouse rack up bills through your Amazon account, but shared movie and music streaming channels like Netflix or Spotify can provide another avenue for your spouse and their attorneys to keep an eye on what you are up to. Apple/iTunes IDs, iCloud accounts, Google Photo storage, and online shopping accounts are also all potential liabilities that need to be secured.

  • Two-Step Verification

At the same time you are changing passwords, you should set up an extra layer of security known as two-step verification. This setting makes it so that any new logins or password changes will require a code (usually sent by text message to your mobile phone) to complete the login. This prevents your ex from guessing a password for a site and getting in without you knowing.

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Don’t Delete Information or Posts You Have Already Made

Remember that although you should always secure your accounts and devices, you shouldn’t delete information. Deleting content like social media posts can sometimes count as evidence tampering, and the court won’t look kindly on it. Also, once you delete information, your ex and their attorney can argue that whatever damaging claim they’re trying to prove about you is true and point to your deletions as proof. Protect all your personal data by changing passwords and settings and turning off location services, but never delete anything without first speaking to an experienced divorce attorney.

RELATED ARTICLE: 8 Healthy Ways to Deal With the Stress of Divorce

Your Online Privacy Protection Checklist

When you start securing your data and sensitive information during a divorce, you might be surprised to realize the extent of your relevant personal files, accounts, and communications. Here’s a quick checklist for double-checking that you have locked your spouse out of accounts that are easy to forget.

  1. Mobile apps: Your smartphone and other mobile devices can be a massive liability during a divorce since many apps keep you logged in by default. Look at your phone, tablet, and even TV apps and double-check that your spouse does not have access.
  2. Bookmarks and favorite sites: Check your frequently visited sites and the bookmarks saved on your computer. Do any of them require logins? Is your spouse able to access these accounts? Will they be able to guess your password because it’s your dog’s name?
  3. Recent spending history: Check your various bank and credit card statements for the last couple of months. These statements show you all the places you spent money recently, so they can remind you of online retailers and other logins that you may need to change.

Once you’re confident that you have a comprehensive list of all your online accounts and logins, consider using a secure password manager such as 1Password, LastPass, or BitWarden. Not only do these password managers store your passwords securely, but many will generate secure passwords for you.

Myers Law Firm: Experienced North Carolina Divorce Attorneys

If you’re going through a difficult divorce, you need to take steps to maintain the integrity of your online accounts and prevent your spouse from making unwanted intrusions into your sensitive data. At Myers Law Firm, we can help guide you through the process of securing your accounts and protecting your privacy so you can go forward with confidence and peace of mind.

Contact us today at 1-888-376-2889 or fill out our quick and easy online contact form to schedule your initial consultation and get advice from one of our experienced divorce lawyers.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Temporary Orders and Permanent Orders

Temporary and permanent orders resemble each other, but they serve very different functions during a divorce. Understanding the distinction is critical to ensure the best outcome for you and your children, both in the short-term and long-term.

So, what are temporary orders, how are they different from permanent orders, and why do they matter? In this article, we’ll cover the basics of temporary orders, including why they’re important and how an attorney can help you when dealing with a temporary order.

Temporary Orders: The Basics

A divorce can take a long time, and there’s often a need for guidance and structure before the legal process wraps up. The function of temporary orders is to try to bring some stability to what could otherwise turn into a chaotic situation. Meanwhile, permanent orders are the final step in the process and provide the structure and framework for what will happen in the future.

Temporary orders come in several different varieties, which deal with different legal issues that accompany divorce. They include:

  • Temporary child custody and visitation

    A temporary child custody order sets the schedule for custody and visitation until the custody claim is finalized.

  • Temporary order for financial support (postseparation support)

    If you can’t support yourself financially after separation, you can work with an attorney to try and receive financial aid from your spouse on a temporary basis, which is called postseparation support. Note that like all temporary orders, postseparation support will only last for a set period of time.

  • Temporary order for child support

    The court can use a temporary order to get an amount of monthly child support in place before the final resolution of the child support claim.

RELATED BLOG ARTICLE: When and How Can I Modify Child Support in North Carolina?

  • Interim distribution of marital property

    Before a divorce finalizes, the spouses usually haven’t figured out key issues like who gets to live in the marital home or drive a vehicle, so courts can temporarily settle these issues with an order for an interim (temporary) distribution.

Just because temporary orders are temporary doesn’t mean they’re not binding. Temporary orders are court orders, and both parties in the divorce need to take them seriously and comply with the court’s instructions or face serious penalties.

Temporary orders can turn into permanent orders, but they don’t always. For example, some spouses receive postseparation support but don’t receive alimony after the divorce finalizes.

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Temporary Orders are Not Always Necessary in a Divorce Case

Not every divorce involves temporary orders. If one spouse wants temporary orders to resolve some of the post-separation issues, then they’ll need to request those orders from the court that’s handling the divorce and the related legal issues. Or, the parties can reach a temporary agreement on their own and turn it into a court order.

Most often, people will go to court and seek a temporary order when the parties can’t agree on one or more issues or when there are emergency issues. A temporary order can bring stability to a difficult situation. In some cases, temporary orders can stay in place for long periods.

If both spouses can agree on schedules and budgets, if there are no children involved, or if the couple is separating amicably, it’s possible to forgo temporary orders altogether. In that case, the parties are more likely to agree on each of the major divorce-related legal issues (child custody, spousal support, child support, and property division), and they may be able to proceed to trial without the need for a final order.

RELATED BLOG ARTICLE: Use These 5 Tips to Create a Parenting Plan That Works

Temporary Orders Can Influence Permanent Orders

Even though temporary orders don’t automatically translate to permanent orders, they set a precedent that the court may refer to when creating the final order.

Temporary orders in a divorce are especially useful when trying to anticipate final child support or alimony (spousal support) payments. Unless there’s a dramatic shift in income for one or both spouses, the amount of support will often remain the same between temporary and permanent orders.

So, if your case involves temporary orders for child support or spousal support, you may have a good idea of what to expect and how to deal with the issue at a permanent trial. If you find that temporary orders aren’t working for you and you need to request a change from the court, you should talk to your lawyer right away.

Keep in mind that just because temporary orders are temporary doesn’t mean they’re easy to change. Once temporary orders are in place, it often takes a dramatic change to justify an alteration. That’s why it’s important to work with an experienced and dedicated attorney from the beginning of the divorce process so they can fight to get the best results for you and your children.

Need Help With Temporary Orders in North Carolina? Myers Law Firm Is Here to Help

At Myers Law Firm, we handle divorce cases with compassion, experience, and dedication to our clients’ best interests. If you need to request temporary orders or ask for a change to an existing order in or around Charlotte, North Carolina, contact us for help today.

To schedule your initial consultation with one of our attorneys, just call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form.

References

Definitions, Article 1, Chapter 50, N.C. General Statutes. § 50-16.1A. (2015). Retrieved from http://www.ncleg.net/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/BySection/Chapter_50/GS_50-16.1A.pdf

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Communication After Divorce

Trying to communicate with your ex after a divorce can be challenging. And when emotions run high between exes, remembering every detail and tracking every expenditure can feel like an enormous burden.

Fortunately, there are a variety of apps available to help divorced couples struggling with coparenting. Depending on your family’s needs, you can manage schedules, maintain vital records, track expenses, and more from your smartphone or home computer.

In this article, we’ll talk about the key features of eight apps that may be able to help divorced or separated parents manage the challenges of coparenting.

Note: Myers Law Firm does not guarantee the quality, security, or reliability of any of the apps listed in this article. The information in this article should not be construed as an endorsement of any app or product.

Apps to Help With All Aspects of Coparenting

The apps listed in this section are designed as comprehensive solutions for parents who are navigating the complex issues of coparenting.

Our Family Wizard

We’ve had judges order the parties to use this app in several cases. Complete with a calendar, expense tracker, personal journal for notes, and message board, Our Family Wizard saves records of messages between coparents. The app has an innovative optional “tone meter” feature to help keep communications civil and level-headed.

Use Our Family Wizard if:

  • You have a lot of conflict with your ex and you’re struggling to communicate in a constructive manner

Key points:

  • Plans starting at $99 per year
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop
  • Each parent will need their own account; profiles for children and guests are free
  • The tracking of communications make it easy to print and bring to court to show the judge which party has not been communicating properly

Cozi

One of the most popular coparenting apps, Cozi can give you a breakdown of your day at a glance, and it also lets you share calendars and custody schedules as well as recipes and grocery lists, tasks, and notes.

Use Cozi if:

  • You’re on relatively good terms with the other parent
  • You want everyone in your family, including your children, to share the same information; once everyone is added to Cozi, there’s no way to restrict what they can see
  • You don’t need to track expenses
  • You have a large family circle (Cozi allows up to 12 users per coparenting account)

Key points:

  • Free to use with fees for premium features
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly

Custody X Change

Developed by legal professionals, the Custody X Change app tracks the time each parent spends with their child. Features include timestamped journal entries, communications tools, and expenses tracking options, all designed to help both parties uphold their court-ordered custody plan. The app also includes templates that incorporate different stipulations, and you have the option to create printable reports right from the app.

Use Custody X Change if:

  • Communication between you and your ex is challenging
  • You need objective evidence regarding scheduling, communication, and expense tracking that you can file in court if necessary

Key points:

  • $97 per year for all the features
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly

Talking Parents

Designed to increase accountability while reducing conflict, Talking Parents tracks communication between coparents. Features include shared calendars, documents, and communications, all of which get stored as un-alterable records that you can obtain and use later.

Use Talking Parents if:

  • You need accountability and a paper trail for your communication and scheduling
  • You or the other parent have older, less reliable digital devices (the app hosts all your information in the cloud, so nothing gets lost or altered no matter what happens to your phone)

Key points:

  • Free to use, $5 per month for full cloud-based records
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly

RELATED BLOG ARTICLE: 9 Ways to Save on Legal Fees During a Divorce

Coparently

Coparently offers many of the same essential tools as other apps on this list, including communication tools, cloud-based calendars, and expense tracking. The primary selling point of Coparently is its encryption and high level of data security compared to the competition.

Use Coparently if:

  • You have other people helping you coparent and you need to give them access while maintaining security
  • You want to let your children view your calendar without allowing them to see your communications with the other parent; Coparently’s advanced sharing permissions let you share calendars with everyone while restricting access to messages between co-parents

Key points:

  • $9.99 per month or $99 per year
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly

2Houses

Designed as a comprehensive “coparenting facilitator,” 2Houses offers a calendar, messaging feature, expense tracking, and vital information storage. Created in Belgium, 2Houses is optimized for coparents and has been used by separated parents around the world.

Use 2Houses if:

  • You appreciate visualization of financial information and user-friendly app design
  • You need an app that allows a wide range of language options, including many European languages

Key points:

  • $9.99 per month
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly

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Focused Apps That Help With One Element of Coparenting

Sometimes you just need a solution for one aspect of coparenting. These apps may be able to help.

Support Pay

Support Pay is an app that tracks coparenting expenses and child support payments. You can use Support Pay to keep track of expenses, maintain payment records, and transmit payments between you and the other parent. Even if the other parent doesn’t use Support Pay, it’s still a useful tool for keeping receipts and records in one place.

Use Support Pay if:

  • You’re on good terms with the other parent, but you hate bringing up money or you struggle to keep track of payments and expenses

Key points:

  • $14.99 per month or $119.99 per year
  • Who can use: Both or a single parent

RELATED BLOG ARTICLE: How Should I Handle Visitation When My Child Doesn’t Want to Go?

Google Calendar

There’s nothing wrong with trying a simple, free solution before you pay for something more advanced. And like Our Family Wizard, we’ve had judges order the parties to use Google Calendar before. Google Calendar lets coparents create shared calendars specifically for their children, and it also offers customizable permission levels and tools to set up reminders and recurring events.

Use Google Calendar if:

  • You only need to coordinate schedules
  • You’re fine with a no-frills app experience

Key points:

  • Free
  • Works on Apple and Android
  • Mobile and desktop friendly
  • Can share calendars with anyone

Myers Law Firm: Helping Parents in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County Resolve Complex Coparenting Issues and Put Their Children First

No matter how brilliant a coparenting app is, it can’t solve every issue that divorced or separated parents may face. When coparenting gets tough, the dedicated and compassionate team at Myers Law Firm is here to help. We understand that communication after a divorce can be challenging, and we’re here to support you and help you resolve legal issues like child custody and child support.

To schedule your initial consultation with an experienced family law attorney from the Myers Law Firm team, call us at (888) 376-2889 or fill out our easy and convenient online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Five Frequently Asked Questions About North Carolina Property Division

For many couples, dividing their assets and debts is one of the most difficult, confusing, and stressful parts of a divorce. Before you panic about losing your home, car, and family heirlooms, keep reading. In this article, we’ll answer five frequently asked questions about North Carolina property division that will help you understand the process and what’s involved.

1. What Does Equitable Distribution Mean in a Divorce Case?

Equitable distribution is the process of dividing marital and divisible property in court. In a perfect world, you and your spouse would negotiate the division of your marital property without a judge’s involvement. Of course, most spouses don’t divorce if they’re finding it easy to cooperate. If you can’t come to an agreement (which is not out of the ordinary), the court will schedule a hearing and divide your marital property using a theory of equitable distribution. Marital property includes both assets and debts.

Based on this theory, a judge will split your property 50-50 unless such a split would be inequitable or unfair. When a judge assesses the fairness of a split, they consider a series of factors, some of which are:

  • Each spouse’s income, debts, and property
  • How long the marriage lasted and each spouse’s age
  • Ways in which a spouse directly or indirectly contributed to the other’s educational and professional opportunities
  • A custodial parent’s need to occupy or own the marital home or other household items
  • Both spouses’ physical and mental health
  • Tax consequences related to the property division
  • Any other factors that are “just and proper”

Note that the court will not consider child support and alimony payments when dividing marital property.




2. What Is Marital Property and How Much Is It Worth?

For the purposes of property division, courts classify property into three categories:

Marital Property
This category includes any income, assets, property, and debts that you accumulated during the marriage. Marital property can include wages, pension and retirement funds, investment accounts, real estate, personal property, mortgages, car loans, and credit card bills.

Separate Property
Your spouse typically does not get a share of your separate property, which includes your pre-marriage assets and debts as well as gifts or inheritances that someone specifically gave to one spouse and not the other.

It’s important to note that separate property can transform into marital property if you commingle it, meaning mix it with marital assets. For example, if you use an inheritance to buy a jointly-titled asset, it might become marital property. If your spouse is trying to claim a share of your separate property, you should contact a lawyer immediately.

RELATED ARTICLE: How to Protect Gifts and Inheritances in a Divorce

Divisible Property
There’s always some time that passes between when spouses separate and when the court gets around to handling property distribution, and this category exists to deal with assets that the spouses receive during that period as well as assets that change in value during that period. Note that an asset that was earned before the date of separation will still count as divisible property if it’s received after separation.

Once you identify your marital and divisible property, you need to determine its value. Early on in your divorce, both spouses will need to complete an affidavit of equitable distribution that outlines their assets and the fair-market value of those assets as well as any debts. While some values are easy to set, valuing complicated assets like small businesses may require help from an expert.

To decide the value of items in an equitable distribution case, the judge will refer to the fair market value. The law defines fair market value as the price that a willing buyer would pay a willing seller for the item in question when neither is under a compulsion to buy or sell the property. The fair market value doesn’t mean what was paid for a specific item when it was initially bought five years ago (purchase price), nor does it mean the price someone would pay if they went out and bought the item new (replacement value).

3. Can a Prenuptial Agreement Protect My Assets?

Nuptial agreements can occur either before (prenuptial) or during a marriage (postnuptial). In a nuptial agreement, you and your spouse define which property is marital and which is separate. This can streamline your property division process if you divorce.

However, not every nuptial agreement is valid. You can dispute the validity of a nuptial agreement if you didn’t enter it voluntarily, if it was based on fraud or misrepresentations, or if it wasn’t properly signed.

RELATED ARTICLE: How Do Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Affect Divorce?

Even if you don’t have a nuptial agreement, you can still negotiate a separation agreement, which is an out-of-court property settlement that divides marital and divisible property and identifies separate property. A separation agreement can also resolve child custody and support issues. However, keep in mind that once you enter a separation agreement, it will become legally binding and won’t be easy to change. You should always get advice from a lawyer before you enter a separation agreement.

4. Who Gets to Stay in Our House?

If you have minor or dependent children, the parent who has primary physical custody may get to stay in the marital home. However, that spouse will need to consider whether they can afford to pay the remaining mortgage and other costs before trying to stay in the house. Sometimes, the best option for both parties is to sell the marital home and divide the proceeds.

5. My Spouse’s Behavior Caused Our Divorce — Does That Impact Their Property Share?

Typically, North Carolina courts don’t consider fault when they divide your marital property. You won’t get a bigger share of property or get to keep the house because your spouse cheated on you, as an example.

However, your spouse’s misconduct might affect alimony and spousal support. For instance, North Carolina courts typically won’t grant alimony to a spouse who engaged in illicit sexual behavior (meaning they cheated or had an affair) during the marriage.

RELATED ARTICLE: How Does Alimony Work in North Carolina?

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Myers Law Firm: Experienced Divorce Lawyers for Clients in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County

If you’re considering a separation or your spouse recently filed for divorce, you need to understand your legal options. At Myers Law Firm, our respected divorce lawyers can help guide you through difficult family law issues with compassion and make sure your rights are protected. To schedule your initial consultation, fill out our quick and easy online contact form or call us at 888-376-2889. We’re here if you need help.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Nine Simple Ways to Reduce Your Legal Fees During a Divorce

If you’re facing a divorce, you’re probably worried about the financial cost of the whole process. And those fears are justified: when emotions run high and spouses argue on every front, a divorce can financially devastate one or both parties. 

Fortunately, you have control over how much your divorce will cost. No matter how your spouse behaves, you can take steps to help minimize your legal fees and keep your financial situation stable. Read on to learn nine simple ways to reduce your legal fees during a divorce. 

1. Be Honest With Your Attorney

Having your attorney surprised in court is the last thing you want. When you don’t tell your attorney everything that comes up during the divorce (including details that aren’t favorable to you and your case), you’re going to make your attorney spend extra time uncovering the facts. And covering up those facts won’t make any legal issues go away — it just means you’ll have to pay your attorney for the time to deal with those issues plus the time they spend getting the whole story. Usually, whatever issues you have can be resolved easily on the front end, while trying to hide those issues will only make them more complicated and difficult to deal with.

2. Try to Communicate With Your Spouse Respectfully

If you can’t have a civil conversation with your spouse about practical issues like how you’ll share custody of your children, then your attorneys will have to do the talking for you. While a good divorce lawyer should excel at respectful communication and shouldn’t hesitate to serve as an intermediary between you and your spouse, it’s important to remember that attorneys must charge for their time. If you and your spouse both use your attorneys to arrange every single child visit and to discuss every detail of child care or property division, the legal fees from those conversations are going to add up quickly.

3. Stay Open to Compromise

Divorce often involves hurt feelings, and those hurt feelings can fuel bad decisions. For example, you should not fight your spouse about every detail of the divorce. If your goal is to inflict as much emotional and financial pain as possible, then you might achieve that goal by fighting tooth and nail, but you’re going to spend a lot of time and money in the process.

A better approach is to get through the divorce with the least possible financial impact so you can begin to move on and build a happier, financially stable future. If you’re serious about this goal, then it’s critical to find ways you can compromise with your spouse. 

Even when you and your spouse can’t reach an agreement, litigation is the most expensive and painful solution, and it shouldn’t be your first resort. Talk with your attorney about other options like mediation, which could help you resolve fundamental disagreements while saving time and money. 

RELATED ARTICLE: Can I Prevent My Spouse From Seeing the Children During a Divorce?

4. Do What the Judge Tells You

If your spouse has to go to court to get you to follow a court order regarding child support or visitation, the court will not only enforce its original order but may also make you pay your spouse’s legal fees. So even if you disagree with the court’s decision on some aspect of your divorce, never disobey a court order. You’ll end up having to follow the order anyway, and the extra legal fees will make it even more painful.

5. Respond to Your Attorney Promptly

If your attorney asks for information or needs to speak with you, get back to them right away. If they need to follow up with you two or three times when they need something from you, that time adds up, and it will slow down your case and add to your legal fees. By responding to your lawyer right away, you can make sure that your case continues to move forward as smoothly and efficiently as possible.

6. Read Your Retainer Agreement Carefully

Many people never read the retainer agreement when they hire a lawyer, so they fail to understand how their lawyer charges for time. As a result, they get surprised by bills and don’t make the best use of the time they’re paying for. 

When you retain a lawyer, you need to understand both their hourly rate and their billing practices. For example, you should know what your lawyer’s base increment of time is for billing purposes. (Most lawyers charge by increments of tenths of an hour, meaning six minutes at a time.) You should also know whether they charge for travel time and what other expenses they will bill you for. 

By knowing exactly when your attorney is billing you and how much, you can make informed choices about when to call your lawyer and when you can address an issue yourself without involving them.

7. Choose Your Battles

Remember that everything you fight for in a divorce will cost you money. For example, you can challenge your spouse over who gets a $500 dining room set, and maybe you’ll win — but the time your lawyer spends fighting for it could cost you $1,000. Don’t fall into this trap and burn money in a battle over low-value, replaceable assets like furniture, appliances, and electronic devices.  

Instead, stay focused on getting to the finish line of the divorce process. Use your resources to fight for the things that matter most, like a fair child custody arrangement and treasured possessions that you can’t replace. 

RELATED ARTICLE: Considering a DIY Divorce? Read This First

8. Stay Organized

Your attorney will need plenty of information and financial documentation from you. By keeping all your information organized, you can make life easier for both you and your lawyer. You can use a file folder or any other system that makes sense to you as long as it helps you gather your important documents and keep them arranged logically. 

When you have a meeting with your attorney, write down any information you need to tell them and any questions you need to ask ahead of time, and make sure to bring any documents they ask for. Showing up prepared will make meetings with your attorney go faster, and that will lead to lower attorney’s fees.

9. Don’t Treat Your Attorney Like a Therapist

Your lawyer should make time for you whenever you need to talk with them, but don’t forget they have to charge you for their time. You need to keep your attorney informed about any issues you’re dealing with, and they may be able to offer recommendations and advice that can help with those issues. However, your attorney is not a trained therapist or counselor; they are there to provide you with legal counsel and advice. Calling your attorney to discuss emotional issues is something you should keep to a minimum. The emotional struggles of divorce require attention too, but when you need help in that regard, your best option is to seek out assistance from a professional who’s trained to deal with those issues. 

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Contact Myers Law Firm for Help With a Divorce in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina

The tips we’ve provided in this article can help you reduce your divorce costs, but you can’t control your spouse’s behavior and the choices they make. Fortunately, whether your spouse is willing to compromise or has decided to fight you every step of the way, the attorneys at Myers Law Firm can help with affordable, efficient, and aggressive legal representation that puts your best interests before any other concern. 

To schedule your initial consultation with an experienced divorce lawyer, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form. 

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

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Alimony and Tax Law

Negotiations over alimony (or spousal support, as lawyers tend to call it) are already tough, but they may get even tougher thanks to the new tax law that Congress passed at the end of 2017. People who pay alimony will lose a valuable incentive, while alimony recipients appear to benefit — at least at first glance.

However, a closer look at the facts reveals a murkier truth. Read on to learn how this new law may affect your divorce case.

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THE ATTORNEYS AT MYERS LAW FIRM, PLLC ARE NOT TAX LAWYERS AND THIS POST SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS PROVIDING TAX ADVICE OR LEGAL ADVICE ABOUT TAXES. THIS POST IS PROVIDING A GENERAL OVERVIEW OF HOW THE TAX LAW CHANGES MAY AFFECT SPOUSAL SUPPORT. FOR GUIDANCE ON YOUR SPECIFIC SITUATION, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR CPA.

No Deductions for Alimony Payers, No Taxes for Alimony Recipients

While laws regarding alimony vary widely from state to state, the way the IRS treats alimony for tax purposes has remained the same for the past 75 years: people who pay alimony get to deduct it from their taxes while people who receive alimony pay taxes on it.

Congress turned all this upside-down when they passed President Trump’s signature tax legislation, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, in December 2017. Once the new law takes effect in 2019, alimony will no longer be tax-deductible for the payer, and those who receive alimony will no longer have to pay taxes on it.

While this may sound like a major win for alimony recipients, it’s not that simple. Without the tax deduction, spouses who pay alimony will have less available income from which to pay, and many recipients may end up getting less money overall. In the end, the new tax law might prove to be a lose-lose situation for both spouses in an alimony case.

RELATED: How Do Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements Affect Divorce?

Note that the new law only applies to divorces finalized or modified after 2018. If your spousal support case is resolved during 2018, the new law won’t apply. However, the law specifically allows ex-spouses to modify an existing divorce agreement to adopt the new rule once it goes into effect. In other words, if you modify an agreement entered prior to 2019, you and your ex can choose whether you want the old law or the new law to apply to your situation, but only if you both agree.

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How Will the New Tax Law Affect My Divorce Case?

One possible consequence of the new law is that negotiations over alimony may become tougher to resolve. In the past, the tax deduction for alimony often served to “soften the blow” for the spouse who agreed to pay alimony. Now, the new law has eliminated that silver lining, which means spouses may fight harder against spousal support requests and may be more willing to go to court rather than hash things out at the negotiating table.

Alimony negotiations through the end of 2018 could prove especially heated. People who expect to pay spousal support may rush to finalize their divorces before the end of 2018 to avoid dealing with the new tax rules. In some cases, alimony payers may settle for less favorable alimony terms just so they can conclude negotiations and avoid the tax hit from the new law.

On the other hand, people who expect to receive alimony may try to make sure negotiations drag on until next year since doing so will allow them to avoid paying taxes on all future alimony payments. Meanwhile, alimony recipients who expect to receive less due to the loss of available income from the payer may agree to speed things along, which could result in hasty divorces that leave one or both parties unhappy.

If you’re concerned about how the new tax law will affect your spousal support case, you should contact an experienced divorce lawyer right away. An attorney should be able to clear up any questions and advise you about your best course of action in light of the new law.

Myers Law Firm Can Help with Alimony in North Carolina

At Myers Law Firm, we understand the end of a marriage is never an easy time for either spouse, so we approach every case with compassion and understanding to search for solutions. While we excel at respectful negotiation and will work to find common ground with the other side, we’re prepared to stand up in court and fight for your rights with an aggressive approach if that’s what it takes.

The attorneys at Myers Law Firm have experience handling all the major family law issues that surround the end of a marriage, including alimony, child custody, child support, property division, and divorce. We’re here if you need help. To get in touch with us, call our offices at 888-376-2889 or fill out our online contact form.

References

Bischoff, B. (2018, January 26). New tax law eliminates alimony deductions— but not for everybody. MarketWatch. Retrieved from https://www.marketwatch.com/story/new-tax-law-eliminates-alimony-deductions-but-not-for-everybody-2018-01-23

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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Social Media as Evidence During Divorce Case

Most people know that potential employers might check out their Facebook posts before a job interview, but they never consider that their spouse’s lawyer might go through their social media accounts for evidence during a divorce case. But that’s exactly what happens during contentious divorces, and if the wrong information comes out during a search of your Facebook posts or other social media content, it could seriously harm your divorce case.

How Social Media Posts Can Hurt Your Divorce Case

Divorce attorneys regularly search social media accounts for evidence they can use to argue in favor of their clients. In some cases, they use formal legal discovery techniques to do so, but often, the information they’re looking for is simply available to anyone.

Social media posts can be deceptive when taken out of context. For example, imagine you’re trying to argue against your spouse’s claim for spousal support and the defense attorney suddenly procures a picture from Facebook that shows you on an expensive cruise. Never mind that it was a one-time trip that you spent years saving for. It could still sway the judge’s opinion and undermine your arguments that you can’t afford the spousal support your ex is asking for.

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How Should I Handle Social Media Use During My Divorce?

We know it isn’t easy, but the best solution is just to stay off social media as much as possible during your divorce. Social media might provide a way to blow off steam, get support from friends, and take your mind off the stress of your divorce case. But you need to weigh those benefits against the harm that your social posts could do to your case.

RELATED: Answers to 10 FAQs About North Carolina Divorce

Ask yourself: Is it really worth it to get supportive comments on a post deriding your ex-spouse if it means a worse outcome in your child custody case? Is it worth showing off photos of you having fun with a new friend if it means having those photos brought up in court as evidence that you had an affair — even if nothing of the sort actually happened?

If you decide that you can’t stay off social media entirely, you can at least follow a few guidelines to reduce the chance that something you post could be used against you in court later.

  1. Don’t assume your privacy settings will protect your posts.
    Courts have repeatedly ruled that social media users don’t have a reasonable expectation of privacy when they post content online, regardless of how they configure their privacy settings. You should assume that everything you post will be available to your spouse’s attorneys, no matter how you set up your account.
  2. Assume your spouse can see everything you post, even if you’re no longer friends online.
    Changing your privacy settings and unfriending or unfollowing your spouse can limit their exposure to the content you post, but all it takes is one mutual friend or acquaintance clicking “share” for your ex to see anything you post.
  3. Don’t post anything while you’re angry or frustrated.
    We don’t use our best judgment when we’re angry. Give yourself time to cool down before you log in to social media and post about something that’s upsetting you. Consider how your post would reflect on your character if someone read it back to you in front of a judge or if your children saw it.

What if I’ve Already Posted Something I Regret on Facebook?

If you’re reading this article and regretting posts you’ve already made on social media, do not go back and delete those posts! The judge in your case could view this as tampering with evidence, especially if the attorneys for the other side have already started going through your social media content or made discovery requests for access to it. And the consequences for this can be serious.

Instead, contact an experienced divorce attorney for help. If you have a divorce case in Mecklenburg County, our attorneys at Myers Law Firm are happy to review the posts you’re concerned about and answer any questions you might have about how to proceed.

Contact Myers Law Firm for Help With Divorce and Other Family Law Matters in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County

If you are considering filing for divorce or if you are going through a divorce already, the experienced attorneys at Myers Law Firm are here to help.

From determining child custody to dividing personal property, our team of professionals is prepared to answer any questions you may have and guide you through every step of the divorce process. While we pride ourselves on our ability to get results efficiently through communication and negotiation, our first priority is always to protect your rights and fight for your best interests.

To schedule your initial consultation today, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out our quick and easy online contact form.

References

DiBianca, M. (2014, January). Discovery and preservation of social media evidence. Business Law Today. Retrieved from https://www.americanbar.org/publications/blt/2014/01/02_dibianca.html

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Child's Welfare

As a parent, your child’s welfare is your top priority. If you’re going through a divorce and you’re worried that your child might be at risk of harm under the other parent’s supervision, you might want to shield your child from the other parent and get sole child custody on a temporary basis.

The laws that govern this type of situation can be confusing to parents, so we’ll try to clear them up for you. In this article, we’ll talk about how to get temporary or emergency custody of a child in North Carolina, and we’ll also discuss when sole custody is a long-term option.

When Can I Get Temporary or Emergency Custody of My Child in North Carolina?

During a divorce, most parents agree to an informal child custody arrangement before the final child custody hearing, when the court issues an order that determines custody from that point on. However, sometimes a parent’s behavior puts a child in danger or unfairly limits the other parent’s custody time.

In these circumstances, a judge in North Carolina might award temporary or emergency custody. While they sound similar, temporary child custody and emergency custody are actually different.

  • Emergency custody: To get emergency custody, you must show that shared or joint custody would put your child at serious risk for injury, abuse, abduction, or removal from North Carolina. Getting emergency custody can be a complicated and contentious process. If you need emergency custody, it’s in your best interest to immediately contact a Charlotte child custody lawyer.
  • Temporary parenting arrangement: While temporary custody procedures vary from county to county, Mecklenburg Count awards temporary custody through a temporary parenting arrangement. Your situation might qualify for temporary custody if there’s evidence the other parent is denying you access to your child, if there are legitimate mental health or substance abuse concerns, or if a parent is moving. Temporary parenting arrangements are also available when one parent goes on a military deployment.

Typically, the court will schedule a temporary custody hearing two to four weeks after you file a petition. These hearings tend to last about an hour.

You can also petition for emergency custody through a domestic violence protective order. However, such an order can only control custody or visitation for a temporary period of at most one year.

It’s important to understand that you should never simply take your child or deny the other parent access to your children unless you either have the support of a court order or you have serious, legitimate concerns about the safety of your child with the other parent. Abducting your child or refusing to share parenting time can lead to you losing custody or facing criminal charges, especially if you can’t prove there was an imminent danger to the child.

If you need help with an urgent child custody matter in Charlotte or Mecklenburg County, get in touch with us right away.

Will a Temporary Parenting Arrangement Affect My Right to Permanent Child Custody?

In Mecklenburg County, temporary parenting arrangements will generally control the custody arrangement until the final trial for permanent custody. When the judge finally creates the permanent order, they can make any alterations they want — they aren’t required to keep the same stipulations from the temporary agreement. If there was evidence of poor parenting decisions or other misconduct while the temporary parenting arrangement was in effect, your child custody lawyer should bring these issues up again at the final child custody hearing.

RELATED: 7 Mistakes That Can Hurt Your Child Custody Case

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Understanding the Types of Child Custody

Before we address sole custody and the grounds of sole custody, it’s important to understand the two types of North Carolina child custody.

  • Legal custody: The right to make important long-term life decisions for your child, such as directing their education, healthcare, and religious upbringing
  • Physical custody: The right to supervise your child on a day-to-day basis and make routine decisions for them

Parents can have sole or joint custody of the child for both types of custody. Sole custody is when one parent has full control of legal custody, physical custody, or both; joint custody is when both parents share custody. Joint custody can take many forms and can range from one parent having primary custody (meaning the child is with that parent the majority of the time) and the other having secondary custody or the parents having a schedule that is almost equal. It’s not uncommon for one parent to have sole legal custody of the child while the parents have some sort of joint physical custody arrangement.

Ideally, you and your child’s other parent will negotiate a child custody agreement outside of court. However, this isn’t always possible. If you can’t come to an agreement, a judge will review your case and award custody based on the best interests of the child.

How Do I Get Sole Custody of My Child in North Carolina?

To get sole custody of a child, you must show that joint legal or physical custody is either impossible, impractical, or would put your child’s welfare at risk. While most people associate sole custody with contentious breakups or abusive situations, a court might also decide that sole custody is in a child’s best interests if one parent hasn’t played a role in the child’s life or hasn’t sought custody.

The court also has ways to address situations where one parent works irregular hours, travels frequently for work, lives out of state, or is otherwise unable to consistently parent and care for the child. In these cases, the judge may order a schedule that places the child with one parent the majority of the time. Meanwhile, the other parent gets visitation that works with that parent’s schedule or that minimizes the child missing school if travel is required.

Getting sole physical and legal custody can be difficult without help from an experienced child custody lawyer. If you have legitimate concerns about the other parent’s ability and willingness to care for your child, contact Myers Law Firm for a confidential case evaluation. We can help you understand your rights and talk you through your custody options.

Myers Law Firm: Advocates for Parents and Children in North Carolina

At Myers Law Firm, our goal is to protect both parents and children during a breakup or divorce. We work closely with our clients, taking time to understand their concerns, developing personalized legal strategies that meet their needs, and vigorously fighting for their rights.

While we pride ourselves in handling child custody issues peaceably and with compassion, we’re committed to protecting your rights and advocating for your child’s best interests above any other concern. To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or get in touch with us using our online contact form.

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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Prenuptial Agreement

While many people associate prenuptial agreements with the very wealthy, they can actually benefit couples at all levels of income and debt. In fact, at Myers Law Firm, we encourage all couples to consider signing one before they marry. 

Keep reading to learn more about how prenuptial and postnuptial agreements work in North Carolina as well as how they affect divorce cases. 

A Brief Explanation of Property Division in North Carolina

The first step towards understanding North Carolina nuptial agreements is learning about divorce and property division. After all, marriages don’t simply involve a romantic union—you’re also combining your finances and assets. 

For legal purposes, married couples have three types of property: 

  • Marital property: Most income, property, assets, and debt that you acquire during a marriage. 
  • Divisible property: Property that was earned before a couple separates but then changes in value post-separation. 
  • Separate property: Income, property, assets, and debt you acquired before your marriage. Additionally, inheritances and gifts to a single spouse are typically separate property. 

North Carolina is an equitable distribution state. In other words, divorcing couples must divide their marital and divisible property fairly (this doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split, although the court will start by presuming a 50/50 split is fair). Your separate property will stay yours unless you commingled it with marital property. 

What Are Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements, and How Do They Affect Property Division? 

Nuptial agreements, when valid, dictate how a couple will divide their property and debt if they separate or divorce. They can also stipulate how much alimony or spousal support a spouse will receive. 

RELATED: Considering a DIY Divorce? Read This First

There are two types of nuptial agreements: prenuptial and postnuptial. You enter a prenuptial agreement (prenup) before the wedding. If you sign an agreement during your marriage but before a separation, it’s a postnuptial agreement (postnup). 

You might benefit from a prenup or postnup if: 

  • You or your spouse accumulated significant assets before you married. 
  • One of you has significant debt or plans to take on debt. 
  • You have a child from a previous marriage and want to protect his or her inheritance. 
  • You want to protect a family business. 
  • You want to exclude family heirlooms, property, or other valuable assets from your marital property. 
  • You want to predetermine how much alimony a spouse will receive. 
  • You are supporting your spouse while he or she completes a lucrative academic or vocational program. 

In other words, if you want to control your spouse’s access to certain assets or limit your exposure to his or her debt, a prenup or postnup is a good idea. 

Prenups also offer another benefit: transparency. Financial problems are one of the most common causes of divorce. To enter a prenup or postnup, you and your fiancé or spouse will have to discuss your financial situations with each other in detail since failure to disclose your debts and assets might invalidate the nuptial agreement. 

While proposing a prenup isn’t most people’s idea of a romantic gesture, entering a marriage with a full understanding of your spouse’s financial circumstances could prevent unpleasant surprises later, and it can actually provide a wonderful way to start a marital relationship on solid and honest ground.

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Are There Limits to What a Prenup or Postnup Can Do?  

While prenups and postnups can be very useful, they have their limits. A nuptial agreement cannot set any stipulations or terms that violate North Carolina law or public policy. A nuptial agreement also cannot: 

  • Determine child custody 
  • Set child support payments 
  • Encourage divorce by offering financial or other incentives 
  • Delegate spousal responsibilities, such as caring for children or completing household chores. 

If you have questions about the validity of a nuptial agreement, you should contact a family law attorney immediately. 

How Can My Spouse and I Enter a Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement? 

North Carolina’s general statutes have a special section devoted to prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. This section is called the Uniform Prenuptial Agreement Act (UPAA). 

According to this act, a valid prenup or postnup must be: 

  • In writing
  • Entered into voluntarily by both spouses
  • Based on full disclosure of each spouse’s financial situation (including debts)

While not specifically required by the UPAA, we recommend that a prenup be signed in front of a notary. 

It’s important that your prenup clearly defines its terms and conditions. Vague or misleading language could result in disagreements and litigation later on. And, if your prenup or postnup contains unfair or illegal terms or conditions, the court might invalidate all or part of the agreement. While you can try to draft a prenup or postnup on your own, it’s typically in your best interest to consult an experienced family law attorney for help.  

Additionally, you and your fiancé or spouse cannot have the same prenup or postnup lawyer. A prenup lawyer can’t fairly represent two parties when they have potentially conflicting interests. While this might seem unnecessary or expensive, the cost of drafting a valid and binding prenup still might be significantly less than the cost of a contested divorce. 

How Nuptial Agreements Affect Divorce Cases in North Carolina 

Since property division is one of the most contentious issues during a divorce, a valid prenup or postnup can help expedite your divorce and reduce conflict. When you have a valid prenuptial agreement, you and your spouse should simply follow its terms, which can speed up the property division part of your divorce process and cut down on litigation costs. 

Before you file for divorce, it’s important to get a copy of your prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. Your attorney will need to review the agreement and make sure it’s valid. If the prenup appears invalid, it may be fully or partially set aside. If the prenup is valid, however, the court must follow its terms.

Contact Myers Law Firm If You Need Help with a Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement 

If you have questions about drafting a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, or about how an existing nuptial agreement will affect your divorce case, the attorneys at Myers Law Firm are here to help. We can answer any questions you may have and help you find affordable, efficient legal solutions that meet your needs. 

While we pride ourselves in handling divorce issues peaceably and with compassion, we won’t hesitate to fight aggressively if needed to protect your rights. To schedule your initial consultation, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us online using our online contact form. 

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

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Separation Agreement or Consent Order

When a couple divorces, the non-custodial parent makes ongoing, court-ordered payments to the parent who has custody of the child. These payments help cover the child’s reasonable needs and expenses. The parties work out a child support payment amount in a separation agreement or consent order, or the court orders an amount after a trial. 

Child Support Overview

In North Carolina, the courts determine the amount of child support based on a formula that looks at three primary factors: 

  1. The gross monthly income of both parents
  2. The custody schedule
  3. The number of children  

If a party wishes to modify a child support order, they can file a motion with the court at any time. However, understanding the conditions that qualify for filing a child support modification are important, and we’ll discuss seven common scenarios in this article. 

In addition, the child support modification process is complex, so we’ll also explain why you should consider hiring an attorney and how Myers Law Firm can help you and your loved ones with a child support case.

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Seven Common Reasons Parents Request a Child Support Modification 

To start the process, if you’re trying to increase or decrease child support, you must provide enough evidence to justify the change. 

If child support is part of a marital settlement agreement, the court can modify the child support order if the court finds that the amount in the agreement is unreasonable. However, if the child support order is based on a court order, the child support amount can’t be changed unless you prove that there has been a substantial change in circumstances.

RELATED: What to Do When the Other Parent Won’t Pay Child Support

What counts as a “substantial change”? Below are seven common scenarios that may qualify for a child support modification. 

1. The passage of three years since the entry of the prior order and a 15% or more change in the amount of child support 

In North Carolina, courts use a set of legal guidelines called the North Carolina Child Support Guidelines to set child support. If your existing order is at least three years old, and if an application of the Guidelines to your current situation would change your child support by 15% or more, this is considered an automatic substantial change of circumstances. 

2. Your child’s needs suddenly change 

If your child unexpectedly needs additional care for a medical or educational reason, this could be grounds to increase child support. On the other hand, a child no longer requiring daycare services could lower the amount of child support owed. If your child’s needs suddenly change for some reason, it may be time to reassess child support payments. 

3. A significant involuntary decrease in a parent’s income, even if the child’s needs have not changed

A loss of a job or mandatory reduction in hours at work can be a good reason to reevaluate child support payments. 

4. A voluntary reduction in a parent’s income and a child’s needs decreasing 

If one parent takes a lower paying job, quits, gets fired, chooses to take fewer hours, or otherwise reduces their income by choice, this is not grounds for changing child support unless the child’s needs have also decreased at the same time. In situations like this, the parent requesting a change must show: 

  • A reduced ability to pay 
  • That the decrease in income was not due to bad faith 
  • That the child’s needs have also decreased 

If you can’t prove all these circumstances, you probably won’t succeed in trying to modify your child support agreement. 

5. Your child begins receiving public assistance  

Receiving public assistance creates a debt to the State of North Carolina, which makes the State an interested party with standing to request a modification in child support payments. 

6. A change in the physical custody of a child 

If you’re the parent requesting the modification and your child moves in or out of your home, this may count as a significant change in circumstances. 

7. The end of a parent’s obligation for one or more of the children who are included in the child support order 

In the case of multiple children, when one child is no longer eligible for support (for example, when he or she turns 18), a request to modify the payment amount for the remaining children is valid. 

Not all changes in income count as a substantial change in circumstances, though. Here are some common situations that do not provide grounds for a child support modification: 

  • A Chapter 11 petition for bankruptcy 
  • An increase in a parent’s financial responsibility for children who aren’t part of the child support agreement in question 
  • A substantial voluntary decrease in the income of either parent 
  • A substantial increase in the custodial parent’s income 

A Family Law Attorney Can Help You Modify Child Support—Here’s How 

Modifications to child support look deceptively easy. In theory, all you need to do is file a form and appear in court. 

In reality, the process can be complicated and challenging. For example: 

  • You’ll have to provide proof of a substantial change in circumstances. 
  • You and the other parent may disagree, and the other parent may fight tooth and nail — possibly with help from a lawyer — against your attempt to modify child support. 
  • The child support modification process can be time-consuming; in fact, sometimes it can last as long as the original child support case.  

Because of these potential complications, you may want to consider hiring an attorney to act as your advocate in the child support modification process. An experienced and dedicated family law attorney will help navigate the legal complexities, save you time and frustration, and stand up for your rights in court. 

Need to Modify Your Child Support Payments in North Carolina? Myers Law Firm Is Here to Help 

At Myers Law Firm, we know that child support disputes are hard on everyone involved. If you need to modify your child support payments, the experienced family law attorneys of Myers Law Firm are ready to stand up for you and protect your rights.  

We understand that child support is a complicated and important issue to you, so we’ll move quickly to learn about your situation and find a legal solution that meets your unique needs. To schedule your initial consultation today, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or contact us using our online contact form. 

References

Definitions, Article 1, Chapter 50, N.C. General Statutes. § 50-16.1A. (2015). Retrieved from http://www.ncleg.net/EnactedLegislation/Statutes/PDF/BySection/Chapter_50/GS_50-16.1A.pdf

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

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We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

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Divorce

Many people who are considering divorce wonder if they can handle it themselves, without help from a lawyer. But is going the do-it-yourself (DIY) route in North Carolina really a smart way to go about handling one of the biggest and most consequential life events you’ll ever experience? 

Since you’re reading this article on a law firm blog, you might expect us to try and talk you out of representing yourself in a divorce proceeding. However, that’s not the case. Under some specific circumstances, a DIY divorce can make good financial sense. 

In this article, we’ll talk about what those circumstances are as well as when you should think twice about handling your divorce case on your own. 

Remember that to obtain a divorce in North Carolina, you and your spouse must have been separated for one year and one or both of you must have lived in the state for at least six months. 

When Can a DIY Divorce Work for You? 

Not every divorce is a high-stakes battle. Some couples, especially those who have no children and who have only been married a short time, might not have a lot to fight over. You might benefit from a DIY divorce if: 

  • Your assets don’t include any marital property which needs to be divided between you  
  • Your case doesn’t involve alimony 
  • You and your spouse both agree to the divorce 

If these things are all true, then you really don’t have a lot to lose by handling your divorce on your own. 

*DISCLAIMER* Under North Carolina law, if you get divorced and you have not asserted claims for equitable distribution or alimony, you’ll lose the right to file and pursue those claims forever. This could be very important! 

That’s not to say there’s no reason to contact a lawyer for help with your divorce. Working with an attorney can give you the confidence that every aspect of the divorce paperwork is handled correctly and reassure you that you don’t have to worry about any surprises down the road. And handling even a simple divorce case can be a stressful process for someone with no legal training. 

RELATED: How to Obtain an Absolute Divorce in Mecklenburg County

However, if you’re a detail-oriented person who has the time to deal with some paperwork, there’s no reason you can’t handle a simple, uncontested divorce on your own. (If you’re the kind of person who prepares your own taxes every year, that’s a good sign you could likely handle a simple DIY divorce as well.) 

To start the divorce process in North Carolina, you’ll need to fill out a Domestic Civil Action Cover Sheet, a Civil Summons, a Complaint for Absolute Divorce (available through the Self-Help Center of Mecklenburg County), and a Servicemembers Civil Relief Act Affidavit. You must file these forms with the Clerk of Court’s office in your county. 

Next, you’ll need to have the sheriff’s department in your county deliver the forms to (or “serve”) the other party, which requires you to pay a service fee unless it’s waived. From this point, you must wait 30 days before you can go forward with your case; the 30-day window gives your spouse a chance to respond to (or “answer”) your divorce papers. 

Finally, you must file a Motion for Summary Judgment, which is a request for the court to conclude a case because there are no facts in dispute, and a Notice of Hearing, which will schedule the date and time for your hearing (your spouse also needs to receive a copy of this document). Remember to keep copies of every form for your own records. 

If at any point you feel confused or intimidated by this process, feel free to call our offices at 888-376-2889 or fill out our online contact form. We’re always ready to help. 

Let us help you.

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When Should You Call a Family Law Attorney About Your Divorce? 

Many people refer to the breakup of a marriage using the general term “divorce.” However, a claim for absolute divorce is simply a claim to obtain a court order that you and your spouse are no longer married. While you have to wait until you’ve been separated for one year to seek an absolute divorce in North Carolina, you can pursue claims for child custody, child support, equitable distribution and/or alimony at any time after separation (and some of those can be pursued before separation).  

If your case involves custody or child support, it is not simply a “divorce” case. As soon as children are involved, the issues can become a lot more contentious and the stakes get higher. The outcome of your child custody case, for example, can determine how often you see your children and under what conditions. 

In addition, couples who have been married for some time usually have marital property that the court will need to divide, and one of the spouses may seek spousal support (alimony), too. The result is that your divorce case and the related legal matters can affect your financial well-being for years or even decades to come — not to mention determining the nature of your relationship with your children. 

If this sounds anything like your situation, trying to handle your own divorce case is probably not a good idea, and you should at least consult with an attorney. By trying to save money on attorney’s fees now, you could end up with an unfair child support or alimony agreement that costs you far more than you would have paid your attorney. And if you end up with a one-sided child custody agreement that favors your ex-spouse, it can cause emotional pain and relationship damage that no amount of money can repair. 

Not only that, but a hotly-contested divorce case can be an exhausting process, both on an emotional and practical level. The schedule of filings, court hearings, and negotiations can seem like it never ends, and having an experienced attorney on your side can give you a trusted source of expert advice as well as a calming, level-headed presence when things get intense. In fact, your attorney may be able to talk with your spouse or your spouse’s attorney and reach compromises that you can’t simply because they don’t have the emotional history with your spouse that you do. 

Even if you think you and your spouse have managed to reach a mutual divorce agreement that’s fair and reasonable, you should still talk with an attorney to make sure your rights are protected and that the terms of the divorce are in your best interest. 

If you agree to the terms of a child custody or spousal support arrangement now and then realize later that the terms are unfair to you, it can take a lot of money and time to try and fix things — much more than if you’d simply worked with an experienced family law attorney to get things right the first time. 

Contact Myers Law Firm for Help with Divorce and Related Family Law Matters in Charlotte and Mecklenburg County 

If you are considering filing for divorce or if you are going through a divorce already, the experienced attorneys at Myers Law Firm are here to help. 

From determining child custody to dividing personal property, our team of professionals is prepared to answer any questions you may have and guide you through every step of the divorce process. While we pride ourselves on our ability to get results efficiently through communication and negotiation, our first priority is always to protect your rights and fight for your best interests. 

To schedule your initial consultation today, please call our Charlotte office toll-free at 1-888-376-ATTY (2889) or fill out our quick and easy online contact form. 

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

Schedule Your Consultation Now!

Type of Case (Select One)(Required)
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Eight Healthy Strategies That Can Help You Alleviate and Redirect Stress

If you’ve gone through a divorce or you’re currently going through one, you know that it’s one of the most difficult challenges a person can face. Divorce can leave you feeling lost, confused, overwhelmed, and stressed. To help you cope with these feelings and restore some sense of normalcy, we’ve compiled a list of eight healthy strategies that can help you alleviate and redirect stress during this difficult time.

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Child Support Payments

If you’re struggling to collect court-ordered child support from your ex-spouse or ex-partner and feeling frustrated, you’re not alone: studies repeatedly show that many people never receive the child support they’re owed. A 2013 report from the U.S. Census Bureau, for example, showed that about 26 percent of all child support payments are never paid, and another 28 percent are only partially paid. 

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Absolute Divorce

We frequently hear in the news that celebrities have “filed for divorce” right after they separate, which gives people the impression that a divorce is as simple as waking up one day and deciding you’re finished being married. The law in North Carolina, however, doesn’t quite work this way.

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Equitable Distribution

Going through a divorce is an emotionally straining and frustrating experience that affects many aspects of your life. As you go through your married life, you accumulate assets together, like bank and retirement accounts, car titles, and mortgages. When the decision to end the marriage occurs, those assets must be divided.

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Property After Divorce

No one gets married expecting to later divorce, which means that they usually don’t give much thought to who owns what property in the marriage unless a divorce becomes inevitable. When the unfortunate happens and the prospect of separation begins to loom, the process of sorting out the tangle of shared property can suddenly seem frustrating and even overwhelming.

In these situations, learning about the legal principles courts use to divide marital property during a divorce can clear up some of the confusion and help you understand what to expect. To help, we’ve composed a quick guide to the legal logic behind property division during a divorce.

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Spousal Support

When a marriage ends, the court commonly orders one spouse to provide financial support to the other for a period of time — sometimes even indefinitely. This mandatory payment to a former spouse is called “spousal support,” although the average person will probably recognize it by the more familiar term “alimony.”

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Foster Care Children's Bill of Rights

This is Part 2 of a recent article that I wrote for the NCAJ Trial Briefs magazine regarding recent laws passed by the North Carolina General Assembly which affect family law and divorce issues.

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North Carolina General Assembly

This is Part 1 of a recent article that I wrote regarding recent laws passed by the North Carolina General Assembly which affect family law and divorce issues.  Part 2 will be coming soon.

The recent legislative session of the North Carolina General Assembly was notable for many reasons and brought a lot of attention to the State of North Carolina.  While one high profile bill that was passed in the area of family law garnered a good bit of national attention, there were several others that could significantly impact family law practitioners.  The following is a summary of new laws that were enacted during the long session of the 2013 General Assembly that may impact you in your representation of domestic clients.

Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act

One comprehensive piece of legislation was the adoption of the Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act .  This law amends N.C.G.S. §§ 50-13.2 and 50-13.7A, and creates a new Article 3 in Chapter 50A.  This law became effective October 1, 2013.

The first section of the new law amends N.C.G.S. § 50-13.2 by adding a new subsection (f).  This new subsection prohibits a court that is making a custody determination from considering past military deployment or possible future deployment as the only basis in determining what is in the child’s best interest (emphasis added).  The new subsection does allow the court to consider past or possible future deployment that has any significant impact on the best interest of the child.  In practical terms, the result is that the court cannot use past or future deployments as the only basis for a custody decision, but may use it as one of several factors.  Furthermore, if the past or future deployments have a significant impact on the child’s best interest the factor may be weighed more heavily.

The second section of the new law repeals § 50-13.7A.  These were the previous provisions regarding custody and visitation for military members.  These provisions are replaced by the much more comprehensive provisions in section three of the law.

Section 3 of the law creates a new Article 3 in Chapter 50A, titled the Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act.  The Uniform Act is broken down into four parts.  Part 1 of the Act are the “General Provisions” and begins with an outline of 18 various definitions used throughout the Uniform Act.  While most of the definitions are standard and should be reviewed by the family law practitioner, there are a few worth mentioning.  “Caretaking authority” is defined as “the right to live with and care for a child on a day-to-day basis, including physical custody, parenting time, right to access, and visitation.”   “Custodial responsibility” is defined as “a comprehensive term that includes any and all powers and duties relating to caretaking authority and decision-making authority for a child.  The term includes custody, physical custody, legal custody, parenting time, right to access, visitation, and the authority to designate limited contact with a child.”   Another definition to note is that “record” is specifically defined as “information that is inscribed on a tangible medium or that is stored in an electronic or other medium and is retrievable in perceivable form.”

Part 1 of the Act includes a provision for attorney fees “and other appropriate relief” to be assessed if a party acts in bad faith or intentionally fails to comply with the requirements of the Act.   Part 1 also requires that an issuing court have jurisdiction pursuant to the UCCJEA, but provides that deployment does not change the residence of deploying parent.

Furthermore, Part 1 requires a deploying parent to provide notice to the other parent of a pending deployment not later than seven days after the deploying parent receives notice of deployment unless the parent is prevented from providing notice due to “circumstances of service”, and then notice must be provided as soon as reasonably possible.   The notice required under this provision must be provided in a “record”.  The deploying parent also must provide other parent with a plan for fulfilling that parent’s share of custodial responsibility.  If a person to whom custodial responsibility has been assigned during a parent’s deployment moves, then notice must be provided to the deployed parent and any other person with custodial responsibility, and notice must be provided to the court if there is a court proceeding.

Part 2 of the Act allows parents to enter into a temporary agreement granting custodial responsibility during one parent’s deployment.  The agreement must be in writing and signed by both parents and any nonparent who is given custodial responsibility.   The statute outlines a non-exclusive list of items that may be included in an agreement.   If there is an existing court order for custody or child support, the agreement must be filed with the court.

Part 3 of the Act outlines the judicial procedures after a parent receives notice of deployment.  Either parent can seek a judicial order after notice of deployment and the court may only enter a temporary order, unless the deploying parent agrees to a permanent order.   The hearing is to be expedited  and testimony by electronic means is allowed, unless the court finds good cause to require personal appearance.   A prior judicial order which contains provisions for deployment must be enforced unless the circumstances require modification and the court must enforce prior written agreement between parents unless agreement found to be contrary to best interests of child.

The statute allows for the court to grant caretaking authority to a nonparent who is an adult family member of the child or an adult with whom the child has a close and substantial relationship.   This grant of authority is limited by the language “in accordance with the laws of this State….”  In this author’s opinion, this limitation makes most of the provisions in Section 3 either invalid or extremely limited.  The current North Carolina law in the area of third party custody is limited to situations where parents are alleged and proven to be unfit, neglectful or have acted inconsistent with their parental rights.

If the other parent will not agree to this third party, the court is limited to allowing the third party only the time allowed the deploying parent by a current order or “the amount of time the deploying parent habitually care for the child.”   The statute also allows the court to grant decision-making authority to this third party to an adult family member or person with whom the child has a close and substantial relationship and the court must be specific about the powers being granted.  Any nonparent is made a party to the action until the grant of authority is terminated.

The statute allows an order to outline contact for the child with the nonparent  and outlines certain factors each order must contain, in addition to being only a temporary order.

Part 4 of the new statute contains the termination provisions.  An agreement under the new law terminates upon further agreement by the parents or 60 days after the deploying parent provides notice that he or she has returned from deployment.   If an order was entered by a court, the order terminates by agreement of the parties  or 60 days after the deployed parent provides notice of return.

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No Social Security Number of Absolute Divorce

One piece of legislation that was passed was overdue.  With Session Law 2013-93, the General Assembly removed the provisions N.C.G.S. § 50-8 which required that the plaintiff in a divorce proceeding provide his/her social security number and the social security number of the defendant, if known, in a complaint for absolute divorce and a judgment of divorce.

This law was effective when it became law on June 12, 2013.

Entireties Property Presumed to be Marital Property

With Session Law 2013-103 , N.C.G.S. § 50-20 was amended to include the presumption that real property acquired after marriage and before separation as a tenancy by the entireties is marital property, no matter what source of funds was used to acquire the property.  The “marital gift presumption” has been a part of North Carolina equitable distribution law since at least 1985.

McLeod v. McLeod, 74 N.C.App. 144, 327 S.E.2d 910, review denied, 314 N.C. 331, 333 S.E.2d 488 (1985).  This same bill also amended the definition of divisible property to clarify that passive increase and decreases in marital debt and financing charges and interest related to marital debt are divisible  (emphasis added).  This change makes it clear that active increases and decreases are not divisible (emphasis added).

The content provided here is for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject.

Contact Myers Law Firm

We are committed to continuing to serve our clients’ legal needs

Single Divider

We are able to meet with clients and hold consultations with prospective clients via telephone or video conference. If you need to contact us, please do not hesitate; we are happy to speak with you about your situation, your needs, and how we can help.

Schedule Your Consultation Now!

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